I can't believe he asked this - but then again....

Bee_Kay wrote: OK, so my SD has been coming over for awhile now and things are going great. Today, her and her bf both came over (dh was at work) and we had a decent visit.

I found out they both had to work today at 3:00 and they both called in (for no apparent reason other than they didn't feel like it). So, the boss tells them "You don't show up, you're fired".

So, my SD chooses to get fired Well, that is her choice, she has ALOT of catching up to do to graduate highschool.

But, her BF decides to go to work. (he's only been working for 3 weeks)

Well, he called here at about 6:00 and asked to speak to my DH. I can't believe what he asked. He asked my DH if he would co-sign a loan for him to buy a car!!! Apparently, he had asked his father yesterday and hs father said "Absolutely not!"!!

Now, if they had been decent to us for these past few months, my dh would have bought them a car (well, really for my sd). But, my DH told him, no that he couldn't do that.

The BF asking that of us just floored me!!

But, I did do something nice for my SD today. She had bought herself a new prom gown, but her belly has gotten bigger and she no longer fits it and there isn't time to have it let out (I don't think it would have been possible anyways). So, I felt bad and I borrowed her the $$$$$ to get a different gown, which we picked out today.

It would have been one thing if it was our daughter that asked us for something, but it just shocked me that her BF would ask something like that of us.

We try to get along with him the best we can. He will be the father of our granddaughter and he is the person that our daughter is with, but I think it really took some balls (or stupidity) for him to ask us for that.

What do you think??

AlexsPajamaMama replied: Oh I totally agree!! That is pretty gutsy of him!!
Glad to hear that your visits are going well!

Bee_Kay replied: You know... it didn't upset me at all. I just chuckle because I remember the days when DH and I struggled to get to where we are now.

Maybe that is just his immaturity shining through??

CAMSMOM1 replied: Wow, he's a brave young man! I can't believe he coughed up the nerve to ask you something like that. If his own father said no, what made him think you guys would say yes? And he isn't the most responsible person, to call into work for no reason. So who's to say that he would pay the car payment? Anyways, glad you said no. I would be more shocked if you told him yes.

How long have they been dating?


I bet your SD was super excited to get a new dress. I sure hope my bridesmaid dress fits. Make sure you take some pictures of her for prom. I bet she'll look beautiful.

Bee_Kay replied: They've been together since last August, so that's about 8 months.

She is coming over Saturday morning so I can help her get ready and she has a hair appointment at 1:00 that I'll take her to.
It'll be fun

It's so hard to practice "tough love" and I know I am not good at it. I didn't HAVE to buy her a new dress, she could have suffered and not went to prom. I didn't HAVE to buy her vitamins. I don't HAVE to do anything.

My DH just laughs at me and says "For someone who b****es alot about her, you sure are a softy"

CAMSMOM1 replied:

I can totally see you as a softy, but wearing the pants at the same time. She is a very lucky girl, to have such a great SM like you.

So is this her first "real" relationship?

Bee_Kay replied: First relationship?
No. She had a pretty serious bf a couple years ago. They claimed to love each other. She said "We love each other the same as you and dad do". I darn near choked when she said that.... but, whatever

It didn't last more than a few months. He was, down deep, a decent kid, but had a TON of problems with his family dynamics.. he was a druggy, drank ALOT, quit school, didn't work, and he was a criminal!! Seriously.

It didn't take her too long to see that it was going nowhere so she kicked him to the curb.

luvmykids replied: Barb I'm so happy to hear that things seem to be turning around with SD!!! I must've missed a post or two, I had no idea things were going so well!

That was super nice of you to buy her a new dress, I haven't really had to do the tough love thing yet but I'm sure she's starting to figure out that there is LOVE in tough love.

btw-I cannot believe he asked your DH to cosign!! Glad he said NO!!!!

NEWMOM05 replied: I'm shocked he would even think to ask you guys.

Glad things are going better.

What a nice SM you are to buy her a dress!!!

MommyToAshley replied: Wow... I can't believe her BF asked that. I would have been shocked. And, maybe he did call into work... but at least he decided to go in instead of getting fired, right?

I am sure it meant so much to your SD that you bought her the gown and she is able to go to prom. Everytime she looks back at her prom, she will remember that. I think "tough love" is important, but so are special moments like this. Sounds like you are doing a great job of turning everything around and helping your SD to become more responsible.

Bee_Kay replied: Her dress looks beautiful on her. She is so far along now, that it was useless trying to conceal the pregnancy (everyone knows she is pg anyways). So, we looked around and FINALLY found one that would accomodate her tummy and also look nice.

I'll post a pic either with it on her or hanging.

When my DH was talking to her BF, my DH said "Bill, I can't do that. I mean I can, but I won't... at least not at this time."

Bee_Kay replied: Dee Dee, I sure hope so. She can be tricky at time though, so I remain a little skeptical inside.

After we got home yesterday from shopping, I had to made dinner, so I was at the sink peeling potatoes and all of a sudden, she came up behind me, wrapped her arms around me and rested her head on my shoulder and said "I love you Mom.... thank you".

It was really sweet, I just hope and pray that it was real.

holley79 replied: Nope I wouldn't have co- signed either. Number 1 he has only had his job for three weeks and was going to call in for no reason. Number 2 that's just gutsy.

Glad that your visits are going well. I'm sure that you are happier now.

JP&KJMOM replied: Glad your DH stood his ground. What in the world was that kid thinking asking him? Super gutsy IMO. I think your DH did the right thing though.

I can not wait to see a pic of her in her dress and hair all done up. Glad you did that for her cause she will remember it forever.

luvbug00 replied: WOW he does have some serious gumption to ask that. Glad your hubby stood his ground because this kids sounds like an accedent waiting to happen.

C&K*s Mommie replied: to the others, about him being so brazen to suddenly "befriend" you two, when he is needing something.

But on the flip side, I am glad to hear that she is coming around more, and being more of a presence in your lives. Did I miss it? Have you given her the new baby bag yet??

I hope she is sticking around for good, and you can continue to form that bond with the baby, even while they are in the womb.

Bee_Kay replied:
Last week she came over and I showed her the diaper bag and she loved it. I like when kids have something that every other child doesn't have. Something original.

I don't know what is going on. She has been stopping over and/or calling everyday. Maybe the reality of her situation is starting to sink in?? Like I said, I enjoy her company, but I am skeptical.

ETA: We agreed that anything I buy for the baby will stay here until she has her. The conditions of where they are living are not the best (in condition and cleanliness), so I'd rather keep it all here and she agreed.