I had no idea Izabella had these issues.

Crystalina wrote: She's always been all girlie-girlie. WAY more then I ever was growing up and I really like that in her although I can't believe she's already so into her looks.
So anyway, she's been seeing where the show 'Little Miss Perfect' was coming on. I watched it the first night and then last night it came on and I saw no harm in letting her watch it. I thought that that was right up her alley with the hair, dresses and all that glitzy stuff. She was in the living room watching it and I was in the kitchen. About 20 minutes into it I walked in and she's crying!!! Right away I say, "What did Evan do?". (Poor Evan ) He looks at me like I'm nuts and she won't answer me. After about a minute she tells me that she's upset because she doesn't have those dresses and she wants to be in a pageant again. (She won 1st place in her age group when she was a baby!) She doesn't even remember being in the pageant but she has the trophy and crown and pictures. OMG. She said those girls were so pretty and she was ugly. I said...HELLO! They wear hair pieces that look like your REAL hair and they put in false teeth to have a pretty smile. I can't even believe I was having this conversation with her and she was crying about it. No matter what I said she was already upset and there was no good answer for her. I told her she will never watch a show like that again and I'm really debating on whether I should even continue buying her any of those little tween magazines she likes with the posters of Taylor Swift, Hannah Montana and all those other "fake" girls she has plastered on her walls.

She's only 7 so I'm thinking I can fix this at this point right?


Sorry I wrote a book.

Kaitlin'smom replied: awe poor thing. I would tell her she is a natural beauty unlike those fake made up beauties. well maybe not in those words but she is beautiful, and its a tough age. I have not seen that show and glad Kaitlin knows nothing of it, however she migh be the oppiste and be a little discousted in the way they are made up. she has seen some glitz girls and cant believe how 'fake' they look. I was a bit shocked when she said this, 'mom come on you know the hair, teeth, and tan are all so fake who wants to like like some creepy doll' So maybe I am thinking the Natural beauty pageants she does help her see that I am not sure. I am just glad she does not want to look or act like the gitz girls. sorry I guess thats not much help, but really crystal she is stunning and way more than the fake ones.

MommyToAshley replied: I know a lot of girls the age our girls that are already into looks and designer clothes. It really took me by surprise to hear some of the girls her age talk about designer clothing and about who looks like what. It's so hard to keep girls focused on what's really important when so many things emphasizie outer beauty -- they see pageant queens, movie stars, and models all being praised for their looks. I suppose we just have to keep enforcing that it's what inside that matters. It's not easy in today's society though. I certainly haven't figured it out... I just try to focus on activities that don't focus on beauty and looks. However, she still goes to dress up parties, still watches Hanna Montana, still likes to wear pretty clothes and put on jewelry, etc. I don't think you can completely shelter them and you have to let them be girls too. It's a hard balance. If you find the answer, let me know.

lisar replied: Lexi is really into her looks right now. She has to get up every morning and fix her hair. I never done that at her age. She is only 8. And she does tell me about other girls that are prettier than she is. And I just tell her that she is beautiful dont worry about it. My motto is if you dont like the way I look, then dont look at me. And I have tried telling her the same thing. Cause honestly I dont care what everyone else thinks as long I am happy with my self. But she isnt happy with herself. She wants me to put highlites in her hair, and I refuse to do it. Shes only 8. And she has natural highlights in her hair. She just doesnt see it that way.

Let me know if you figure out an answer. I could use one to. And Lexi doesnt watch those shows so I dont know where its comming from.

stella6979 replied: You should show her the Dove Evolution commercial. It shows how in just 60 seconds they can take an "ordinary" looking girl and make her "beautiful" and it's all done using photoshop. Cause let's face it, all the girls we see in those magazines don't actually look like that.
I really hope Izabella starts to realize how naturally beautiful she is, cause she is!! She's got gorgeous hair, great cheekbones, beautiful eyes and those are things most girls would kill for.

Crystalina replied: We have told this girl how beautiful she is since the day she was born. We've never even suggested anything otherwise. Maybe us doing that worked against us? I don't know.

I did tell her that it's what's inside that matters and she came back at me with, "Oh! So you DO think I'm ugly!"



Where in the heck did that come from?

I can't wait until puberty.

lisar replied:
That definatley sounds like something a 7 year old or an 8 year old (lexi) would say. LOL

Crystalina replied:
So this is normal? That's my problem, I don't know if she's having "issues" or if this is normal 7 (almost 8) year old behavior. I mean, if it is I'll just let her have her little issues but I don't want to find her one day when she's a teenager vomiting up her lunch and think that I should have done something when she was 7, you know? My sister has a teenage daughter but she didn't go through this. She's semi-goth (semi because my sister still buys her "girly" clothes and make her mix them with her Goth look ) so she really didn't go through this. Maybe she did but never showed it. I don't know.

I don't know if me telling her she's pretty is going to help her to realize she's pretty. I mean, I don't want her thinking that's all their is to her but I also don't want her to think she's ugly. I don't want her to be vain.

I don't know where she gets this from!!! I was all ready to call a therapist this morning. Oh my head.

Do they have a "What To Expect When Their a Tween" book?

MommyToAshley replied: I think it is normal, but I only think it is normal because of the emphasis society puts on outer beauty... it's everywhere. So, I think it's important to provide a balance at home. Maybe emphasize the other aspects that you want her to feel good about -- caring, sharing, being loving, taking such good care of the animals, etc. Of course I tell my daughter she looks beautiful, but I try not to make it the focus. I try not to participate in activities that emphasize outer beauty. But, like I said, I don't completely shelter her... I let her watch the tween movies, go to dress up parties, get manicures, etc.

coasterqueen replied: This is why I let Kylie be 6 years old, a little girl. I see a lot of girls her age so focused on looking older, stylish, etc, etc and I want my daughter to grow up slowly. This is why I'm so against some of the things like HSM, Hanna Montana, etc. I'm not saying that to be against what anyone else does, but I see what it does in the girls I see around Kylie. She asks for those things and I said NOPE, when you are older you can, right now you are 6 and you are gonna act like it. So far she is content with that and I hope it lasts a lot longer.

Danalana replied: I wish I had some advice. When I was 7, I was a tomboy. My focus was on soccer or dodgeball or something like that. I honestly think they get a lot of that stuff from school. SO MANY insecurities come from our peers in school. Like somebody else said, maybe just emphasize the things she does that you are proud of that aren't looks related. And this is just a thought...is there a chance you could take a couple of hours a week, just the two of you (you might already do this)? Maybe Gene can take care of the other two, and she and you can have some quality time doing something she really likes. Maybe a movie or lunch? It's just a suggestion, because I have heard importance placed on kids getting to spend at least a little one-on-one time, where they are the main focus...the only child for just a little while. I don't know if that would help at all, but it just came to my mind. I hope it's something that's just a phase for the moment!

Crystalina replied:
That's been done and all she want's to do is shop for shoes, get her hair straighten, do her nails. That kind of stuff. The stuff I'm trying to get her mind off.
I've even tried sports. She loves soccer but only helping Evan practice or goofing off in the yard. I tried to sign her up and she doesn't want to because she hates to be "made" to run and she hates when it's hot out. She's more of a cartwheels, dancing, drawing and reading kind of kid.

Sam & Abby's Mom replied:
yes! that commercial is amazing. Have her watch it.

Crystalina replied:
I don't know how I didn't see this post. I'm off to YouTube that right now!!!

Thanks!

A&A'smommy replied: bless her heart she is WAY too young to be thinking about stuff like that and she IS a beautiful girl!!! I hope you get it stuck in her head that she has no reason to have those insecruities!!