I have a heart that won't stop

~CrazieMama~ wrote: Ok ladies...here is my problem. I have been divorced for about 5 1/2 years. My ex-husband has a girlfriend that he has been with for about 3 1/2-4 years...here is my problem....

I still love him!!!! How can I get over him? I hate feeling like this. I know he is not going to just up and leave her for me...he does not love me...i don't think. But I have this strong feeling that I should be with him and only him....what am I to do?

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I don't want to pry into your personal affairs and let me know if I go to far, but why did you divorce?

~CrazieMama~ replied: I was so stupid.... I thought I had fallen out of love with him...but ever since we had separated..I have been realizing that I do love him...cause all I think about is being with him forever!!!!! I listened to my mom and left him. I was 20 at the time.

coasterqueen replied: ((HUGS)). I wish I had an answer for you. I don't think you ever stop loving someone, even someone in your past. I still have a place in my heart for the guys I dated for long periods of time

It took me many years to get over one of them for sure

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Awww! I'm so sorry. I married DH when I was young and so many times I thought we had fallen out of love or when times were hard I wanted to give up. I stuck with him actually he wouldn't let me leave. We are closer now than ever.

Do you still talk to him? Is there any way you could tell him these things? At least then you would know for sure if there is a future for the two of you instead of feeling this way forever.

Sorry I'm not much help.

Kaitlin'smom replied: how long had you been married/dating? sorry to pry but it sounds like something we went through very early in our relationship and marriage. I married my DH when I was 19, we met when I was 17. I am sorry your having regrets. Maybe you need to talk with him and "see" how happy or unahappy he is, that mgiht help you on to the next step.

its never easy letting go of someone you love, I have to admit it took me a long time to finally put one in my past and move on with my life.

~CrazieMama~ replied: Yeha I do talk to him. I told him last year that i wanted him and he told me that I am the one that left. It kills me!!! I just may tell him the next time I talk to him. I can't keep this to myself. I know him and I were meant to be together. If we weren't I would have been over him. But I have never gotten over him. No matter how mad I got with him, I still loved him.

~CrazieMama~ replied:
Well, we married when I was 16, and I left him just before I turned 20. I was young and so ignorant.

booey2 replied: Oh hon I am not sure what to say. Only that I am sorry you are going thru this. Especially around this time of year you can only get more emotional. Hang in there, and try and talk to him again. Sorry I am not much help.

~CrazieMama~ replied: It's ok, I just really have not liked holidays ever since our separation.... So I have a really hard time when any holiday comes along.

kimberley replied: oh sweetie, i am sorry you are feeling down. maybe you and he need to have a heart to heart and either get closure or start working towards a reconcilliation. i wish i had some magical advice for you to make everything better

jen replied: I know what you are feelings. I went through this with my ex-husband several times. At one time I wanted to get back together, at another he did. It was never that we were on the same page. We knew we still had love in our hearts for eachother but it was when we were down that we were only remembering the good times. I would go through a hard point in my life and miss him, and remember the good times then we would get together and we would remember why we separated LOL! Not saying that my situation is the same as yours because you have to follow your heart and have no regrets about opening up to him. I finally found closure in knowing that I did everything I could for us to resolve our marriage before we ended it. I can tell you that 5 years later I met my husband now and there is light and hope and happiness in my life I never thought imaginable before but it is so much better. I feel like I learned what happiness is worth from being through my past and how to hang on to that. I think you have to open up and get your feelings out in the open and take it from there, it took me a long time to do that. I wish you the best (((((HUGS))))

DansMom replied: I wish I could help. I think I know how conlicted you feel. I said no to a marriage proposal after 12 years of being with someone (we were separated for about 6 months, declaring that we were finally through, and the proposal took me so by surprise that it made me angry---plus I avoided commitment then). Now we each have spouses and brand new babies, and we do occasionally see each other because of mutual friends/family associations. We are both always sad and heavy-hearted after we socialize together, disappointed that we gave up on each other after all those years together, even though we are happy and fulfilled in our current lives. We still love each other. Like others have said, you don't stop loving a person just because it didn't work out. But you may have to accept that heavy feeling when you think about him, and try to focus on good memories about that person and building something good with a new person, because it doesn't usually work to try to repair the damage that's been done. Every situation is different though---some people do get remarried!

~CrazieMama~ replied: I know that he more than likely will tell me that I need to move on and that there is nothing in the future for us...but I have to say something. I can not keep relationships and I think it is because of my loving him still. When I have that conversation with him today, I will let you all know how it went.

mummy2girls replied: Oh dear I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I still have feelings for jennas dad. We are just friends...best friends but i do still have a longing to be with him again. Even though he does pee me off alot! Aside from everything he is a really sweet person. I think the big reason we are not together his that he cant show his feelings. With him i never know if he loves me hates me , is happy sad or angry. He keeps everything bottled up until he explodes then that is when he talks to me. But i look at is as...i dont want to lose him out of my life so if it only means us being best friends then that is what ill take. Please let us know how it goes...many (((HUGS))) to you!

~CrazieMama~ replied: Thanks Shelly...my problem is, I have a hard time showing my feelings. I have been slowly closing up from everyone, like I have in the past. That is a scary place to be. I know I love him for the right reasons, not because im alone and need a father for Brianna...although that would be nice. But he is a great father to Tyler. And him and I have so much in common. I really hate seeing him with someone that I know is not for him.

A&A'smommy replied: i dont have any advice for, but i can tell you that i know its tough my "first" and i were together for a LONG time i was sooo sure i loved him that i stayed with him even though he was controlling a verbally abusive. And still anytime i see him my heart jumps and i get all freaked out even though now im with the right person for me! I dont know what to say except that you should follow your heart and do what you think is good for you and your children but mostly you!! I hope that you will know what exactly the right thing is for you!!!! (((((HUGS HUGS))))