I just can't win.... - (WARNING- very long)

holley79 wrote: You know there are just somedays when I just want to tell everyone to go get hosed. We are moved into our new office and it is a mess. I just can't seem to get started and finished with anything. I start on one box, then look in another then another and they just seem to never go away. (pulling hair out)

To top that off we have the holidays coming up. I always look forward to the holiday but this year is just going to be a mess. We had already planned to go to DH's biological dad's house Thanksgiving day. Friday we were going to go to his dad who raised him's house then my parents' house Saturday. Sunday to recoup.

Each year we make plans which include DH's mom and she always just screws them up. Year before last she was supposed to go to my mom's with us for dinner and at the last minute she canceled. She then told everyone she works with how no one loves her and she had to spend Thanksgiving alone. Well last year she was invited to our house. I had my cousin, sister and police officers (who couldn't be home for the holidays) coming to the house. I had worked a 12 hour shift the night before and had to work that night another 12 hour shift. I made a very full spread on 0 sleep and went to work that night with 0 sleep. She showed up, made a plate and let. Well this year I made up my mind I was not going to even discuss Thanksgiving with her and we were just going to do our own thing. I was so looking forward to not having to do a full fledge Turkey dinner. This totally went bust over the weekend.

We went and had lunch and she called wanting to know what we were doing. She showed up and had lunch with us. Well she brought up Thanksgiving. Shawn tried to change the subject just as she brought it up. Well she asked me what all I was making and what she could bring. She went on to say how she thought "we" should all go to dinner somewhere instead of cooking but then there wouldn't be any leftovers. Before I could say anything Shawn asked her what her plans were for Thanksgiving and she said, "Well just like every year I am spending it with you guys." Umm yea sure. So this weekend I had to go buy a Turkey and all the trimmings. I am a little peeved at myself because Shawn and I both did not say anything we just went along with it. I don't know why I do this to myself. I know she is Shawn's mom but she's not very motherly.

Ready for the kick in the teeth? She called last night and was crying to Shawn about how Melissa (Brandon's mom) had to work Wednesday night and Thursday night and wasn't going to have time to cook a Thanksgiving dinner for her family. How is would be so Christian like of us to invite them over to the house. HELLO!!! I have no desire to sit at the holiday table in MY home with this woman. Not only no but **** no! Shawn told her if she would like SHE can have Thanksgiving at her home w/ Melissa and her family and we could very well do our own thing. Well then she asked to speak to me. (She knew I was there so he couldn't say I was busy or not home ) She told me on the phone how Melissa and I needed to let water flow beneath the bridge, set our differences aside and become a unit for the holidays. Well you want to know what my response to all this, at first NOTHING. I was speechless. When I finally found my voice I told her if she felt so strongly, her and Melissa could very well spend the holiday's together there would be no hard feelings. She then asked to speak with Shawn again. She told Shawn how she was looking forward to Thursday and couldn't wait to see her granddaughter. Annika is almost 11 months old and she has yet to hold her or anything. She's a freak.

I swear if she shows up with that woman there will be some serious issues. I am not sitting across the table from her. I have been very kind to her over the years and has eaten crow on many occasions for the sake of Brandon. Brandon is now 18 years old and I am NOT going out of my way any longer.

Sorry this got so long everyone. This is just nuts. I wouldn't have a problem with Brandon's mom/ brother/ sister having Thanksgiving dinner is Melissa was halfway human and had treated us with a little bit of decency. She is a miserable woman and she just is not welcome in my home. I know that may make me a very petty person but I guess I am.

sparkys2boys replied: YIKES girl... your in a pickle aren't ya. I would have a serious talk with her and let her know that you have no bad feelings towards this women as you shown over the years but am not ready to sit down to a family meal with her at this point and time at all. I would hope she would respect you enough to understand this.Good luck with it all, let us know what happens..

mom2my2cuties replied: Well if it makes you feel any better - you are better than most My husband and my ex have had to sit at the table together, both times, it was almost too much for my usband. And now I think Andrew would kill Michael's dad.

Edited to Add - My question is this - WHY does your MIL think you should open your home to your husband's ex??? I mean fine - it's the holidays, whatever, I think that, that is a too much to ask anyone. And from what I gather, this woman has been HORRIBLE to you, there is NO reason for you to spend time with her.

holley79 replied: Well as I said, if she was a decent person I wouldn't have a problem with a sit down dinner with the woman.

Shawn's mom doesn't even sit down with her ex's why should I have to sit down with Shawn's. Not to mention Shawn doesn't want her their either.

Calimama replied: Awwww . You deserve to have Thanksgiving the way YOU want it with people YOU want to invite. Dont feel pressured into having someone you arent comfortable with in your house for the holidays. You dont owe her anything. I hope your Thanksgiving is still tons of fun.

C&K*s Mommie replied: Need I ask if this is the evil MIL that you dislike?

holley79 replied:
Nope no need to ask.

CantWait replied: Omgosh, seriously, that women needs to make up her mind wth she wants to do. Sorry Holley.

On a side note, I thought it was going to be a post about Annika's dayhome. How is that going?

Boo&BugsMom replied:
That is my thinking. If she was considerate and "Christian" (as she put it...sorry, I think that was out of line on her part! ) she wouldn't even ask for you to do that. It's pretty much an unspoken rule you'd think. If you feel uncomfortable then she should understand that and RESPECT your wishes.

C&K*s Mommie replied:

holley79 replied: Thanks everyone for letting me unload. I have invited half the SO to my house for dinner, again. Maybe this will cause her to change her mind and not show. I wasn't going to cook orginally and not have an "open house" dinner but I figured since I was cooking I can make the best of it. There are apporoximately 3 agencies close to where I live and they know they are welcome. I enjoy doing this because it gives them a hot meal to enjoy. Granted it's not with their families but at least it's in a home, family like setting.

C&K*s Mommie replied: So did you officially invite the exWIL or was that door closed, only to possibly have your evil MIL invite her instead?

holley79 replied: Shawn put his foot down w/ evil MIL. She is NOT to invite the WIL. If she does they will BOTH be shown the door. He also told her if she wanted to spend Turkey day with the WIL then she was more then welcome in her home.

C&K*s Mommie replied: WTG Shawn! So glad to hear you will be having a less stressful holiday without the exWIL to add to it.

jem0622 replied: I am so sorry. Sometimes family can be such a pain!

holley79 replied:
Isn't that the truth.