I need some advice for my parents. - Kind of long.

MoonMama wrote: As most of you know I come from a big family! 4 kids that are my parents by birth (myself included) and 2 adopted. But I of course love them all the same. Anyway my parents are having a horrible time with my 14 yr old adopted sister.
First a little background....They adopted Amonda when she was 4 and things were great, she adjusted well, was already learning English at the orphanage she was at so picked it up well (adopted from Russia), was an absolute doll, so sweet and helpful, and very loving.
Ok fast forward 10 years. Here is the issue my parents have never been the kind to bring a lot of junk food into the house and are very much health oriented. Now non of us have ever had and issue with this and I personally think its wonderful. Amonda never had any issues with this either, however the last 6 or 7 months she has been so junk food motivated like there is nothing else in this world. I mean we are talking chocolate, cookies, chips, a few times a whole 12 pack of soda in one day, cake anything with sugar in it! If you open a bag or Oreo's and eat 2 she will eat the rest in one sitting. And she is REALLY compulsive about it, she gets REALLY angry when she doesn't get something at the store throwing HUGE fits. My parents DON'T buy her the junk she wants most of the time (occasionally is fine but this is a everyday thing). She will refuse to eat regular food and sneaks all this junk all the time! She's buying it with her own money her allowance and my parents neighbor owns a dog grooming business and she clean up 3 nights a week for some extra money. Just yesterday I was out with her and she freaked out when I wouldn't buy her these fudge cookies and a soda, and I mean like I'd expect Braedin at 2 or 3 to freak out. Her teeth have gone to heck she had only had 1 cavity before, this last dental appointment she had SIX, she's putting on a ton of weight (has gone from a size 4 to a snug 12). And she really doesn't go and hang out with friends anymore, and she seems to be attaching herself to certain members of the family 24/7. They have tried everything to cut this behavior out. Talked to her, layed down the law, tried healthier sweet snackes, talked to her doctor, she is seeing a therapist but nothing seems to be helping.
Anyone have any ideas or advice? We are all starting to really worry about her health and well being big time. TIA and sorry it got so long.

holley79 replied: You say a Therapist? Is this a Psychologist? If she isn't then I think maybe she needs to start seeing one. it sounds like something has triggered the compulsiveness (If this is even a word). I'm sorry they are dealing with this and I'm sure they have their hands full. WOW I have no clue what to say. I hope they are able to find out the trigger and get her some help.

Insanemomof3 replied: All I can suggest is your parents explain to her about moderation. Everyone wants some "junk" food once in a while. My parents growing up NEVER let me have candy, chips, soda etc....When I got into high school, I was introduced to it and I went nuts. Kind of like rebellion. If they compromise with her maybe that will help. Don't take it away from her, but limit it. That is all I can say.

MoonMama replied:
I am not sure to me honest I'll have to ask my mom.

Also Denise, they have tried explaining it to her but she doesn't care/get it. We have never had a ZERO junk rule just a not very often rule and we have all been fine with that until Amonda now.

Thanks ladies.

Anthony275 replied: can't you tell your parents to make her lose the job so she won't buy any of it?

amynicole21 replied: Sounds like hormonal changes to me - she's at the right age. They really don't want to stress the weight gain thing - that could just cause issues later on with eating disorders. They should focus on the health aspects of it. I wish I had answers for you, but it's probably just a stage. I hope so anyway!

A&A'smommy replied: I was going to say what Amy said, that is exactly what it sounded like to me!!! Good luck I hope they can find something to help her soon!!

My3LilMonkeys replied: Honestly, I think a therapist may be the way to go. My boss has a daughter who was adopted from an orphanage in Russia when she was 5 and they had the same issue with her (but at a younger age, around 8 or 9). She would come in the office where we had a candy dish and keep sneaking pieces of candy - eating the whole dishful within an hour. She would even hide the wrappers behind the filing cabinet or wherever so we wouldn't see them in the garbage. They had her see a therapist and it ended up being related to her time in the orphanage when food was so scarce and they never got candy or anything. It had given her a kind of hording mentality and also made her feel like she would be punished for eating the sweets.

lovemy2 replied: Have they talked to her school counselor? Has something happened at school - kinda sounds like maybe part normal hormones but that maybe something happened that triggered all of it? IMO it sounds kind of more of a psychological thing than maybe an actual physical craving - everyone goes through periods of craving sweets but most know when to stop - even teenagers?? Don't really know kind of taking a shot in the dark here - I know nothing about having a 14 year old girl so I could be way off - guess I will find out though in about 9 years

MoonMama replied: Thanks so much for the reply's they really mean a lot to me.

They haven't said a word about her weight because like said they don't want to get get any kind of complex over it. And really its not the weight that's the real issue its the unhealthy part of it. They have talked to her school and know one seems to know of anything. They are going to try a different psychologist and see if that helps some, they found someone who specializes more in kids who have been adopted and such. So we will see. Thank again everyone.

redchief replied: There's some underlying cause for her binge eating of junk food. Of that I'm almost certain and to that end I think she should definitely speak with a counselor. On the physical side of it I truly believe it's time for a zero tolerance on junk food rule at your mom's house. Regardless of the cause of her binge junking, it's plain unhealthy for her physically. There is no question of that. Finally, I think your mom and dad need to exercise some parental control on her money, even that which she's earned herself. I believe that if they force her to place all of it into her bank account, and keep the passbook, she will not only be unable to afford to feed her habit, she will gain interest on her savings. I pray for strength for your parents, and that your sibling gets better and healthy!

MoonMama replied: Well said Ed thanks. I have been telling them this for a while but they don't have any interest in listening to it.