I really need help - Poo issues

PrairieMom wrote: I am completely at my wits end, and have no idea where to go from here.

Ben is having poo issues again. This is gonna get long.

Okay, 2 weeks ago he was complaining of a tummy ache, and was not pooping, plus he had been throwing up, so I took him to the Dr who said he was constipated, and wanted us to do an enema, and re-start him on stool softeners. (he hasn't been on them for a year now) anyway, we went through all the trauma of the enema, (it was horrible) and had a few "crap-tastraphies" We thought everything was better.

Then over the weekend he started pooping in his pants. He had quite a few accidents, and even managed to poop in his tux at the wedding. ugh.

The feeling that we are getting from him is that he is doing this for attention. We started throwing away his underpants, (which really struck a cord with him) and now if he has another accident he has to throw away a toy ninja turtle.

Fast forward to yesterday...
we haven't had any accidents in a few days, BUT he hasn't pooped at all since I think Wed. when he had about 15 mini poo's.

I know he has the urge to go, he runs around like crazy and will sit on the pot, but won't let himself actually "go" he crys and says it hurts.
His little bum looks okay, I don't see any fissures or anything on the outside that are really obvious, but the last time he went I did notice a little blood on the poo, and on the toilet paper.

Okay, so as of right now, I am continuing the stool softeners, and not doing much else.

Anyone have experience with this? what is the next step? do you think he may have hemorrhoids or something? if he did wouldn't I be able to see them? do they really hurt that bad? I don't want to be super aggressive with this if he is just looking for attention, but on the other hand, if there is actually something wrong I don't want to just sit on it. I can't tell if he is actually in pain or just being a PITA.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Oh you poor thing Tara. Dealing with that much poop, or the lack of, is NOT fun. I'm sorry I really don't have any advice, because my kids are both still in diapers , but I do think you would see if he had hemroids (sp?). And a part of me thinks it isn't attention seeking if he actually was willing to go to the doctor and get the enema, kwim? But not sure.

moped replied: Ummmm that is a tough one, so I don't have any adivce to offer except that obviously it is bothering him and there is a small medical issue with it right?

PrairieMom replied:
He had no idea the enema was coming, that was a really rude surprise for both of us. I have looked, and I his bum looks completely normal, but I don't know what is going on in the inside. He sure screams and cries like there is something wrong.

PrairieMom replied:
yeah, we have had problems with him being a hoarder since birth. He is so strong willed tho that I can feed him prunes, stool softeners, and a suppository, and he still won't go.

MommyToAshley replied: Ashley has always had problems with constipation so I can totally relate.

First of all, I don't think I would punish him for the poos in his pants until you get all the issues with constipation worked out. The punishment may just make him more anxious and then he will continue to hold his poos. I think if you just matter-of-fact tell him that we go in the potty and not our pants, then change him, he won't get the attention he is looking for... and he also won't be anxious when it is time to go again.

Our ped told us not to use the stool softeners on a consistent basis as they are habit forming and the body gets used to it and then it is unable to have a bowel movement without the stool softener.

We try to control it with diet as much as possible. Lots of fruits, and green vegetables, hot cereals (cream of wheat is excellent) and then we also limit bananas, cheese, and high carb foods like fries. When we stick to this type of diet, she does much better. But, it's not always possible 100% of the time.

When she does get constipated (at least 3 or 4 times a month), we give her prune juice and make sure she is drinking plenty of water. If that doesn't help,then we give the stool softener.

The ped also suggested that we put her on the potty and have her sit there and try to go poo after dinner every night. The body has the natural urge to have a bowel movement after eating. The idea is to form the habit of going poo every night. I try this after dinner, and a bath because a warm bath helps too. We've had some success ... it's MUCH better than it was, but as I mentioned she still has some problems.

Jamison'smama replied: What stool softeners are you using? I have a long history of constipation issues with Jamison.

PrairieMom replied:
she put us on Miralax.

we had been doing really well with it for the past year, and haven't been using anything at all, just diet, but for some reason it started up again, and now we are in the middle of a real mess. I KNOW that part of it is attention, because he had been going in his pants, when he makes the announcement that he has to go, one of us drops everything and rushes him to the toilet. It didn't help that we were away from home and using mainly pubic restrooms all last weekend. since we have been home when he gets all anxious and says I HAVE TO GO!!! I say "really? " and he will say no. I'm at a loss. I truely believe that he is scared and in pain now, but don't know what to do about it.

A&A'smommy replied: It sounds to me like he is scared that its going to hurt... We have had this problem with Alyssa, we control hers with diet and that usually does the trick but there are times when she wont eat good and she gets constipated again or she goes to grandma's house and they give her tons of cheese but anyway just encourage him that he is going to be okay and tell him that it is unacceptable to potty in his big boy pants. I hope it gets better for him!!

momofone replied: I know lots of water is good and fiber apples plums fiber breads thats all i can think of hope that helps. Maybe he is a little dehydrated because you said he was throwing up.

boyohboyohboy replied: tara caleb had issues when he was younger, the dr gave us miralax also and said it was a different kind of stool softener then colace or any of the others, frequent use can cause the body to become dependant on them, but this one was supposed to be less likely of that happening for some time.
you also asked about fissures, you can have fissures inside, and they can get deep and I am trying to think of the term where they are larger on the inside then the outside....but if so they get infected. so the blood could be from that, or else he could be straining so hard that he is causing fissures or hemmroids..if he holds it in long enough then he might cause the strain, which sounds like he does, and doesnt want to go because of the pain, but its a constant circle.

does the miralax help? does it make him go more regularly? i think the only thing to do it to keep giving it to him until it makes his poo soft enough to pass without the pain, so the fissures can heal, and then he will see that it doesnt hurt to go and be more receptive to the idea.

i also think its kinda hard to "punish" him for not going on the toliet when its pain that causes him not to go.

would your ped. let you see a GI specialist so they can determine if he does have a fissure there? it might be worth the time to go and see.

also what about a cream like prep h? maybe it would numb it enough for him to go, or a tux pad, i would ask about something like that to help with that burn..

poor boy, i remember very well caleb sitting on the toilet screaming...and then even afterwards it would hurt and he would ask to have something put on it..and there was nothing i could do.
it didnt resolve itself until the fissure healed and to this day he has to eat a large amount of fiber to keep himself regular or else the fissures come right back.

good luck

Jamison'smama replied: I agree Miralax is a wonder drug. It really saved my sanity. The constipation makes things larger and drier -it often causes those little fissures. Jamison would get them as well--leading to more withholding etc. When Jamison would get constipated, her whole personality changed, Jeanne and I (LeaAnn too) have spoken about this at length--it is chaotic and emotional and it just takes up more of the day then most can imagine--I imagine you've experienced this as well. But that could also be part of this behavior issues. I questioned it all--was it for attention, was it psychological or physical etc. I just used as much Miralax as needed for as many days as it took. Jamison was on it for about 7--8 months tapering off and used towards the end mainly as needed.

We have used it since then when we travel and she tends to have issues. I would think even the enema would cause some trauma so I think if you can, try to just wait it out.

Boo&BugsMom replied: The only advice I can offer is make sure he has enough fiber in his diet. From what the doctor told me fiber acts like a regulator. If your constipated it will make it looser, and if you're having a case of the squirts if makes you firmer...it "regulates". Get him more fiber, maybe some fiber supplements if they make them for kids, whole grains, etc. I hope it gets better. We are having a similar issue with Tanner, only it's the other extreme.