I really think DH has AADD? - HELP?!?! (kind of long)

Farelle wrote: Ok, I just have to ask you all for some info about your DH's...? BC I REALLY think my DH has AADD!! Here's my reasons:
First of all there are the little things...like putting things away where they belong, ordnarily I would think this is a man thing (sorry guys) but the fact that it's the SAME thing over and over and over and over leads me to believe it's more. I'm talking remote control, kids toys, clothes, cups, plates, household items...the list could go on for days.
Second there is the NEVER putting things away when he is done with them....like put the milk BACK in the fridge, put the garbage IN the garbage can NOT on top of the counter OVER the garbage can, etc.
Third and most important is issues concerning the kids SAFETY! On more than one occassion I have seen his attention be completely diverted to something else when he should be giving his attention to the kids. For instance NOT stopping to look at something in someone's yard while my 3-1/2 year old son is barreling down the middle of our street two driveways ahead of him on his big wheel
Or stopping to "chat" with a neighbor and NOT paying attemtion to the kids AT ALL while talking and then realizing that they are in ANOTHER yard. Or going into into the garage to get something and leaving the kids in the living room with the gate to the downstairs WIDE open while my little guy is en route with his push toy towards the stairs! (Good thing I walked in the door when I did)

So to not make this any longer I hope you get a feel for what I am trying to express. I REALLY do think he has AADD. Some of the stuff may seem like I am nagging or being picky but when it's the SAME things day after day one has to wonder. And when it comes to my kids safety (and there have been MANY more incidents but that would take way toooo long) I have to figure out what is going on.
Any thoughts???

Anthony275 replied: my cousin has that. hes 22 and he always leaves his stuff thrown everywhere, he can't find his things a lot because hes so unorganized, forgetting whatg he was just doing and moving on to the next thing. he wont take any meds. this dosent sound like it tho

luvmykids replied: Sounds more like a case of bad habits and inattention to me, JMHO. I'm the same way in some areas I know how terrible this will sound but I have to make a conscious effort to stop at the stop sign at the end of our road, there is hardly any traffic but once in awhile there is and I'm guilty of assuming there won't be and therefore have developed a TERRIBLE habit of not stopping (please don't slam me, I'm aware of it, as I said LOL)

I'm by nature messy and disorganized, I can't even begin to tell you the tremendous amount of effort it takes for me to put something away when I'm done with it. I can't EVER find the remote or my keys and I'm working on the habit of putting them in the same place every time to remedy this. I am a talker and if I get too involved in a conversation I space the kids, not to the point that they disappear, but they've definitely gotten into things they shouldn't have (this explains the candy sprinkles all over their bathroom counter )

I don't mean to make it sound like I forget or ignore them completely but I do have to work at multitasking with them or I get wrapped up in what I'm doing and don't realize how much time has passed since I left them quietly painting or playing with play doh

Anthony275 replied: its ADD, hes had it his whole life but it makes him so out of it that he just forgets and goes onto the next

Farelle replied:

How was he diagnosed with it?

I really DO think my DH has it. It's gotten to be more than just a case of laziness or forgetfulness BC it is literally ALL the time and the same things over and over and over and over..........even when I try to be patient and explain to him why I put things where they are or why it's helpful to me to put things away...he STILL does it. Like I said, I can overlook the silly things but when it comes to the kids safety and he's NOT paying attention that's another story. I mean sure, I get distracted too, but it's very rarely, my attention is always focused on my kids bc they are the most important thing in the world to me!!!

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Ditto.

Anthony275 replied:
he was diagnosed when he was like 6...parents refused medicine, got worse over time.

it does seem like he has it, if i were you id tell him to go see a doctor or something

Kaitlin'smom replied: Couple questions, when you talk to him about it do you talk or yell? what doe he say when you bring things up like leaving the milk out or losing focus on the kids? Has he tried to make an effort? I have more things but need those answered first.

Farelle replied:

We talk and yell about it. I try often to overlook things but then after a while it starts to bug me that I CONSTANTLY have to pick up, put away, watch over a 40 year old. So somtimes I do yell about things. But in my better moments I try to explain WHY it's important to pay more attention to the kids, that it only takes a second for something to happen. I spend ALL day every day with them and I think that I know them better than he does, I know how curious they are and how quickly something so innocent can turn into a potential disaster, I avert them every day. So I try to explain that to him but he just either doesn't listen or just doesn't pay attention. I also try to explain to him WHY I bug him so much about putting things away....bc when I am frantically trying to find the remote while both kids are having a mid-day over-tired melt down it only ADDS to my already over the top level of frustration and makes it near impossible for me to deal with the kids. I figured if I explained the reason why I am always on his case about things that seem stupid he'd understand and try to meet me half way....but so far he hasn't even met me 1/4 of the way.

All this also overflows into other areas of our lives, like letting things with the cars lapse, the house, etc. I do pretty much everything around here although he would argue about that.............

Which leads me back to trying to figure out what is going on. He also has sleep apnea and everyone told me that when he got his machine and started getting a good night's sleep I would see a HUGE difference in his ability to concentrate on things..............uh?? When's that going to happen?? ha ha

Anyway, thanks for "listening" I'll gladly take any advice......

Boo&BugsMom replied: Sounds like he's just lazy.

Farelle replied:

Yeah I think that too at times but it's neverending......can someone really be THAT lazy??? I'd rather think he has AADD than be that lazy................

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Yes.

TheOaf66 replied: I hope you're not comparing honey

Calimama replied:
I was thinking that too.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
No!!! Yes, you have your moments, but I would not put you in the "lazy" category. Although I still do not understand why you put the pots on top of the stove when all you have to do in bend over and put them in the drawer, and then put the tupperware on the counter right above where they are suppose to go. But I still love you.

TheOaf66 replied:
my old man back can't take it

Boo&BugsMom replied:
lame excuse honey