I seriously feel helpless - Really down

CantWait wrote: I'm sitting here crying cause dh wants me to watch a show upstairs that I have no interest in, I told him come downstairs so I can download music at the same time, well he doesn't want to come downstairs. He starts saying that I've been downstairs since he got home, I'm like hello, everyday he's on the couch after work and has no interest in doing anything besides that, including me or doing anything with the kids. He's just like whatever.....I don't understand anymore why I moved back East again. I don't understand why I just waited through another 7 month tour, 3 month course, and gave up my job, my friends, a church I actually enjoyed attending, even my dog and everything I knew to follow him here for a promise he obviously doesn't intend to keep.

I had an awful feeling on my wedding day that it wasn't the right thing to do (we've had problems forever before that), and I had an awful feeling before coming here. I don't understand why I don't listen to myself.

I feel so helpless right now, and I really think this might be it. We just bought this stupid house, his house, his pride and joy. He care more about his job, which I can understand, and his friends then he shows about his family.

I'm so fustrated.

kimberley replied: i'm sorry things haven't gotten better, Marie. it can't be easy being in the middle of nowhere, canada with no roots and a vacant dh. have you given any thought to coming back to Toronto? i don't have any advice as i have similar struggles myself but wanted you to know i am here if you need to talk and i will say a prayer for things to get better.

Boo&BugsMom replied:

CantWait replied:
Kimberley, unfortunetly if I do leave, I'll be going back to Edmonton. I don't like what Toronto has become, not to mention that financially it's not feasable to live there. Edmonton has great job opportunities, and to rent it's quite reasonable.

Sorry to hear that things aren't going well for you either.

kimberley replied: oh ok, i just thought you had a lot of family here. i spent a bit of time in Edmonton and can see the appeal. it seems an easier way of life there, not as hectic as here.. or expensive. i wish i could knock your dh over the head and he would magically see the light. he just doesn't appreciate what he's got.

CantWait replied:
Yes I do have family there. Unfortunetly I don't think I could look my grandma in the face, not that I think she'll be around for much longer. She's also got a full house with my brother, his gf, and his friend.

My mom also just moved into a one bedroom finally, and quite frankly she drives me nutts.

You're right though, Edmonton is more laid back, and definetly not as expensive.

As for knocking him over the head, so do I.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Oooh Ooooh! Move to Ottawa, I've got a 3bdrm condo for sale!! lol

I'm sorry to hear thta Marie. I really am. I'd suggest a trial separation...but... I think that's what the tour was...

CantWait replied:
We've been through that already.

We had our separation, then the 6 month course, then the 6 month tour, then the 3 month course. So we've already tried separating, and I've been through councelling.

coasterqueen replied: I'm sorry Marie.

A&A'smommy replied: I'm so sorry honey!!!

booey2 replied: Marie I am not sure I have any advice to offer you. Only you know what you need to do. I will send my prayers and hugs your way.

Terri

amymom replied: Many prayers and hugs for you!

redchief replied: I only have for you. I wish I had some great advice.

CantWait replied:
Geez Ed, for once no great words of wisdom. Thanks anyways. I'll take your kind words anyday.

luvmykids replied: I'm sorry things haven't gotten better, Marie. I really hoped (as did you) that the move was going to be a fresh start of sorts. I know the feelings well, pm anytime you need to vent.

gr33n3y3z replied: sorry to hear this
maybe from the sounds of things you should do it again and do some hard thinking. In a relationship its 50/50 and both ppl. have to be happy with out the happyness you have nothing the reason why I say this is bc there is nothing to look forward to.

mckayleesmom replied: Well...I have been here for a long time and have watched you struggle on and off in your marriage. I think its great that you have stuck to it this long and tried very hard to make things work. At one point or another, in some marriages...its just not fixable. I think that you have known this for a while. I think alot of your hesitation in ending things is fear....as it would be for many woman. I think you are a very strong woman and you will make the right decision when its time....that might be now.


You deserve to be happy in all aspects of your life.

BAC'sMom replied:

C&K*s Mommie replied: