I talked to a sleep expert!

Schnoogly wrote: My therapist was reading a journal article about childhood sleep and saw that the doc in the article was her friend's daughter, a nationally famous sleep author, Jodi Mindell. So this morning she calls her up and I talked to her for 15 minutes!

My therapist told her about Iain's history and I told her about his sleep, our routines, where/when he sleeps and how he gets to sleep and she asked me what our goal was. I said I wanted him to be able to sleep alone in his bed for 4-5 hours at the beginning of each night and not to wake up so often (maybe 1-2 times only) during the night. She asked how often he nurses and I said he doesn't get anything, it's mostly comfort at night, and she suggested that I not nurse after his bottle at night, do that for a week or two, then slowly move away from him while he falls asleep until I'm sitting up in bed, then sitting on the floor, then at the door, then out of the room. She said it might take him 1.5 hours to get to sleep but that I should be boring and not get upset or anxious.

When he wakes at night I am supposed to nurse or give bottle or whatever gets him back to sleep the fastest. She said if we can fix bedtime the rest will get better on its own. She said we have been doing really good so far with our routine and sleeping with him in his room.

I read the reviews of her book on amazon and it seems it is a cry it out book, but she never told us to let him cry. She seemed to really take his history and needs into account. I asked what to do if he cries and she said we could pick him up.

I hope it works!! She said it will take 2-3 times as long to change his habits as it would a "normal" baby.

coasterqueen replied: YAY! I hope it does work, good luck! Keep us posted

I know since we established a good bedtime routine for Kylie things have gotten a lot better. She goes to sleep faster and most nights she sleeps better. She was waking EVERY two hours to nurse. Now some nights that happens, but other nights it's 3, 4, or even 5 hours between wakings!

Kirstenmumof3 replied: That is so wonderful! Let us know how it goes! I really hope this take too long and that in a few weeks he is sleeping on his own!

MomToMany replied: I hope it works for you! Please keep us updated!!

aspenblue1 replied: I hope it works for you.

MilMunchMOM replied: Good Luck! My son has never been a good sleeper. He would wake up at least 4 times a night wanting to sleep by us. Just recently at 41/2 yrs old we have gotten him to stay in his bed all night. He says he still wakes up but, then goes back to sleep. DH and i never thought we would see this day. As they get older they develop more distinctful favorite toys and activities. Sean likes... no LOVES the computer. We would tell him that if he did not stay in his bed he would lose the computer for that day. After about 2 consistant weeks of this he was a changed child. It has forced him to learn to fall asleep on his own. Every now and then he has a set back but we just restrict him from the puter for that day and then all is right again.
I couldn't do that Ferberizing thing, so we just sorta marched on an said "he won't be coming home from college for us to put him back to sleep" LOL
Kari wasa sleeping on her own in a toddler bed at 2 ys old. she would fall asleep by me then i would put her in her bed and there she stays for the night. WHEW!! i couldn't handle two like Sean. Here I go again!! sorry

ediep replied: good luck!! I hope it works!!!

Schnoogly replied:
You're new so you don't know the saga of DS's sleep...I won't go into it but it has been horrific. (the old timers here have been listening to me whine for months now LOL) It is only now getting a little better at 14 months, but he won't sleep alone for more than half an hour, and that's new in the last month or so. He used to wake every half hour, now he's down to every hour or two on a bad night and every 3-4 hours on a good night, rarely he'll sleep 5-6 hours though. I think he's done that 3 times?? Anyway, this is all new within the last couple of months. He'd scream and scream and scream for hours.

And karen, we also adjusted Iain's bedtime earlier. He used to go to bed at 8 but now we start the routine at 6.30 and he's usually asleep by 7-7:30. It still takes him a while to get to sleep, but at least he does it lying down with us now instead of being carried around and bounced for hours.

kit_kats_mom replied: I can only offer hugs and a concilliatory nod but it does get better very, very slowly. K's nights are back to being awful (she's not stayed asleep for more than an hour for the last 3 days and wants to nurse everytime she wakes) but I'm hoping it will end when these teeth come though. Her naps however are much better and I'm going to try the same approaches for bedtime that I've been using for naps. It only take 10 minutes to get her down for a 2-3 hour nap on her own now which is great!!! I'd take that for night time & consider myself lucky!

I'm rambling. I know how hard it is but just keep trying something new every few days and if something seems to work, stick with it. I've found that K falls asleep much faster if I play a lulliby CD rather than hum or sing (NO Comments please LOL ) so I've gotten a few new cd's and they seem to help. Also, she seems to fall asleep easier if I stop nursing her before she is totally asleep and lie her on her crib mattress which is on the floor in our bedroom. Then I just sit there and pat her back or smooth her hair and she will fall asleep in a few minutes with little crying. I just stumbled onto these discoveries though so. They may not have worked a month ago, who knows? Iain is making baby steps (like you said, at least you aren't having to bounce him all night long) and sooner or later, he will suprise you by giving you a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. I know that it seems like that day may never come..but it will.

Once you think he is really beginning to understand you, you can start making deals with him. For example, K loves the slide at the park and every evening I tell her that if she sleeps well, then mommy and daddy are well rested and we can slide the next day. But if she doesn't sleep well, then she will have "slug mommy" to deal with the next day...and we all know that "slug mommy" aint no fun!

I just re-read your original post and a lot of it sounds like what DH and I have stumbled on. One tip that may help you guys. K will fuss non stop and beg for num-nums (so pitiful sounding) at night. I will often nurse her for a minute or two then nudge dh who will roll her onto his belly, face down, where she falls asleep in no time. She rolls off of him and back onto the bed after about 15 minutes and is out for awhile. I have tried the same position and she will fall asleep but she will scream for a long time...she never fusses for DH.

MommyToAshley replied: I hope it works... it's worth a try. I know Ashley started sleeping through the night when she learned to go to sleep on her own, so maybe the sleep expert is on to something. Now she wants me to rock her again, but she still sleeps well at night. So, once Iain learns to go to sleep on his own, you can go back to the cuddling if you want.

A&A'smommy replied: i hope it works for you guys!!! Keep us post i will be thinking of you and sending postive thoughts!!!! (((HUGS)))

DansMom replied: I hope this method helps you toward your goal. We're pretty much at the point you are hoping to get to---Daniel wakes up two or three times a night, and that's been fine. His first block of sleep is a long one, which is also good. I'm still tired, but not like before.

I LOVE the signature photo of Iain. He gets more beautiful every day.

kimberley replied: that sounds like a great plan and i really hope it works for you!!! best of luck and let us know how it goes.

CantWait replied: Good Luck, I really hope this works for you