I think my mum surpassed herself this time! - Vent . . . quite long, sorry

Josie83 wrote: Oh she makes me so angry!! After attempting to stay out of my mother's way, she has managed to cause some more trouble. Jason was looking after Cassie yesterday when my mum arrived en route to church (we're Catholics, although my mother isn't exactly so good on a lot of the acceptance and caring part). First of all she told Jason Cassie should be in church and be confirmed all the rest of it, even though Jason and I aren't practising (and have had a baby out of wedlock, so aren't exactly model Catholics in my mum's church). After Jason explained that to her, Cassie must have been talking to him and my mum had THE CHEEK to tell him that Cassie's speaking is incredibly poor and that she thinks "the child" (her words) needs to be taken to a speech therapist! Okay, I'm no expert but I think this is slightly ridiculous. Cassie's only two and her vocab is v good, its just her pronunciation that's not so great - like she says "t" for "c" (so tat instead of cat), "s" instead of "sh" and "ch" (sip for ship) and "y" sometimes instead of "th" (so yat one instead of that one), but she is perfectly understandable and even her doctor told us she was v advanced in her speaking. Jason said my mum actually said to Cassie "I'm not going to talk to you unless you speak properly!" She's still just a baby!! She's so lucky I wasn't there!! xx

Littlejojames replied: OMG thats really bad.

Some children dont even know that much around the age of 2. My friends little girl did not start talking till late on and now you can shut her up and she is so clear in what she asks for.

Craigs niece is only 19 months and she cant talk much but she communicates other ways, but what some people forget is that they are still babies.

Have you spoken to your mother about this???

TeagansMom609 replied: OMG, that is soooo messed up! You REALLY need to sit her down and set her straight.

ctymom replied: I know how angry that must make you feel! Especially from your own mother? wow. I got that from my MIL and that was bad enough. Things are better now but it was torcher in the beginning. It really can make you feel awful.

You really dont worry about speech until at least kindergarden or so. Even then some children have 'baby' talk.

My DH and MIL used to try and correct our kids when they would talk like that when they were little. I told them to stop it b/c they will grow out of it and then you'll miss it. They grow up fast enough and will figure it all out eventually. So they realized that and just enjoy the cute baby talk.

Pamela

amynicole21 replied: That woman has problems I would have to insist that she not be allowed in my home again after something like that.

Boys r us replied: Josie...why don't you just skip country and move to the US..and don't give her your forwarding address!! LOL I don't mean to make light of this dreadful situation, but my goodness..next time she comes over, start saying things to her..about her life or the way she talks..whatever..let her see how it feels!

Kaitlin'smom replied: how horrilbe rude and very insensitive of her I am so sorry she is like that. I dont think I could tolerate some one like that around me (humm must be why i am not worried that the eldest un-sister is not around) really I would have to do or say something to her.

DansMom replied: You need to turn the tables and be aggressive, put her on the defensive, or she'll never, ever stop. She has loads of anger and low self-esteem that she's taking out on you, and abusing you and Cassie will continue to puff her up and make her feel powerful and important and in control, unless she sees that you will fight back and really mean it.

Easy for me to say---I know that I could never confront my parents on anything, stuff much smaller than what you're describing. It's very difficult to be in that position. To be expressing that much hatred and contempt, your mom sounds like she has serious psychological problems.

It might help for you to talk to a counselor, just a couple of visits at least, to examine why you think you put up with this kind of treatment. It can really help to get professional advice and support in order to break any cycle of abuse (and verbal abuse does take its toll). It takes so much courage to battle with a parent over your worth as a human being. You shouldn't have to do it! You're a beautiful, talented woman with a gorgeous daughter and affectionate, loyal man in your life---she should be oozing with pride. I'm sorry you have to deal with this, and I'm glad you have positive people like Jason around you.

kimberley replied: that is horrible! i am sorry you had to deal with that. have you thought about distancing yourself from her for a while and hope she gets the message? or even write her a note saying how you feel and make her realize how she is hurting Cassie? ugh! i hope you figure it out soon.

aspenblue1 replied: That is so horrible! I would have to say something to her or just tell her until she can be nice to you and Cassie you will not be around her.

My2Beauties replied: OMG The nerve of that woman! Sounds to me like she has some self-esteem issues and that is why she thinks she can belittle yourself and your family!! Honestly, I would just not take her phone calls, not answer the door when she comes to visit and ignore her for a while, maybe she'll get the hint. I also like the idea of writing her a letter as well. That really sucks that you have to deal with this! (((HUGS)))

mama3x replied: You really need to get on the offensive with that woman and get Jason to as well. Now that you have a child that's getting older, to the point where she can understand more, you both will need to set her straight.

Yes it MAY BE a concern that Cassie isn't getting some sounds right, just something to be aware of but not concerned! JEEZ some women... I am sure Cassie has passed hearing tests and has done well at her well-baby checks so fire back at your mother that the Pediatrician who is the UTMOST EXPERT feels Cassie is developmentally NORMAL.

I would love to send my MIL, my mother, and my grandmother to live with your mother on an island...

kit_kats_mom replied: I don't like that woman and I don't even know her.

I agree with the other women. I'd start criticizing some of her choices...ok, I wouldn't because I was trained way to well to respect my elders but I would probalby do some really childish passive/aggressive thing like invite her for dinner and spit in her soup.

A&A'smommy replied: WHAT A B****!!!!!! I would have to tell her to stay away from my child!!! (((((BIG HUGS))))) to you and Cassie you two DON'T deserve that!!!!