I want one more baby - dh does not

stanleygirl wrote: I don't know what to do, he wants to get the big V done, and I was totally on board, but the past few weeks I have had baby fever, I feel like a wreck. I don't want to try right now or anything, but once we are in our house and I have my daycare set up, I would like to try once more.
BUT dh is really set that we cant afford another education plan, and he wants time to retire and travel, and well he has many good reasons to feel the way he does.

Should I just ask him to put it off, or let him go through with a vasectomy bc that is what he wants? I am so torn, I am afraid another baby would put a strain on the relationship and then I would regret it, or he will get snipped and I will regret not having one more.... has anyone else been through this?? Any advice would be appreciated TIA

JessC replied: I would definitly talk to him about it, when the next baby is born, I am sure he would never regret it.

keep us updated on what he says!

aspenblue1 replied: I would definately would talk to him about it.

Jamielou replied: i would talk to him

ammommy replied: We are in the opposite situation. DH wants a third, I don't. I wanted to have a tubal with my last c-section, but Dh was so against it that I agreed to wait. If I end up pregnant, it will be meant to be. I really think that both parties have to be in agreement when talking about permanent BC. I'd talk to your husband and tell him how you are feeling, especially your concerns of resentment. I hope that he will agree to put it off until you both agree.

gr33n3y3z replied: talk to him
thats all I can offer

mckayleesmom replied: Maybe you can compromise a little....perhaps aggreeing to getting an IUD or going on BC. In the meantime..that will give you time to make sure that another baby is really what you want to. You said that origionally you were on board with it..but now you have baby fever....Maybe your baby fever is a phase....and maybe his not wanting any more is a phase. You never know unless you give yourselves time to really soul search on this one.

mamafairie replied: How many kids do you have now?

MM'sMama replied: I agree talk to him. Keep us updated good luck

moped replied: I am sort of in the same boat - DH doesn't want another I am starting to think about it WAY too much!

I wish I could help

stanleygirl replied: Jen I know what you mean, baby thoughts have consumed my thoughts lately I have never felt like this before even when TTC!?

Anyways, I talked to him, and thanks Mckayleesmom bc I really used your suggestions, but it didnt go very well. He REALLY does not want another baby, and he feels bad that I do. Although he says he does want to adopt in a few years, and so do I but it costs ALOT of money unfortunately and then we won't have money to take care of the kids the way we want to (college plans, vehicles...) unless we come into money some how..

But since I have an IUD already, and it's good for 5 years, I am hoping that dh will still put off the V, so we can see how we feel in a few years. Maybe I am hormonal, or maybe he'll change his mind, you never know and this is too serious to rush into either way.

Thanks


(Oh yeah and we have 2 kids right now, sorry thought I had tickers)

moped replied: Well I am assuming that you guys are much younger than we are, DH is 46 so we don't have a lot of time to think about it - and until I get a full time job I can't anyways, I need that 1 year off - LOL.............but I think about it all the time. I also woul dbe quite happy with Jack alone too

mammag replied:
I'm confused...

He wants to get the V because he doesn't want any more for financial reasons (college etc) but then he wants to adopt in a few years?? Don't you still have to consider college and why not just do bc so you can have your own in a few years?

jacobsmama replied: It is just so permanent If you have doubts he shouldn't do it. Talk to hiim and he should respect that.