I want to quit my job

amynicole21 wrote: I've been butting heads with my supervisor lately - long story, but we used to be equals, then he was promoted and he completely changed. I trusted him when I shouldn't and he stabbed me in the back. Yesterday at 4:45 he came into my office with the VP of Human Resources and told me that they are changing my title and I'll essentially handle all of the administrative functions of the job. Major demotion in my opinion, though I would be paid the same. I've been looking for work for the last month and applying left and right, but nothing is panning out. I have to get out of there though.

I want to quit. If I do, I *should* get my 4 weeks of vacation paid out. Also, I would give 2 weeks notice, but my company has a habit of saying "thanks but no thanks" and paying you out for those too, but not having you come in. They don't want you sabotaging anything. That gives me 4-6 weeks of pay to find something new. We don't have any savings really, but do have a home equity loan that we have about $20k left on... we could use that if we had to.

DH is NOT on board with me quitting. Understandably, he wants me to suck it up for the sake of the family. I've been crying myself to sleep for a month... don't you think the family would be better off with me in a better emotional state? Still, I get where he's coming from. It would be really hard to try to get by on one income.

Someone please tell me what to do! Oh, and any resume experts out there, feel like going over mine and making suggestions?

ETA, I've been there 10 years and worked my way up from nothing. It's the only "real" job I've ever had other than waitressing in college or temping for a while.

CantWait replied: Sorry Amy. It sounds like you have a lot of experience so getting something shouldn't be a problem. Do you have any sick days that you could take and go out and do a door to door seach handy resumes out, etc...

I agree with you that your emotional state is more of a concern then a few weeks of financial hardships at home.

I hope you find something soon.

ZandersMama replied: I would say if you are sure you can handle it financially, go ahead and go for it. If you are unhappy,your family will be unhappy. Do what is best for YOU , and in the long run you will be happier. Your husband needs to understand how unhappy you are.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Amy I'm sorry you are feeling this way! If you think that it's time to quit than maybe it is! I think that your DH should be more on board with this, can't he see how misserable this job is making you! Keep sending out resumes, keeping my fingers crossed that you find something!

MommyToAshley replied: Amy, I am sorry... that is a tough situation to be in. I always thought that your job was not a "fit" with who you are as a person. And, by some of the things that you have described that have gone on there... I wouldn't want to be there either.

It's so much easier to make these kinds of decisions when you are only financially responsible for yourself. Having kids to support can complicate the situation. I think I would try to look for anothre position without quitting your current one for a couple of reasons. Can you take a couple weeks of your vacation and spend that time looking for a job, without quitting yet? This way you can look for a job without the stress of knowing whether or not you are going to get a paycheck. Just think of your cureent job as a last resort.... or something to hold you over until you find what you really want. And, coming from someone that used to hire people, it will look better to the interviewer if you currently have a job. But, if you look while on vacation... it will give you some time away from your current job to relax and you can focus all your attention on looking for something else while still getting paid.

Good luck.. I hope you find something soon.

amynicole21 replied:
I doubt they would allow me to go on vacation now. Firstly, they would know it was to look for a new job. Secondly, I'm needed to train my replacement I'm sure You're right - if I didn't have kids or a husband I would have done this ages ago. I feel so trapped

kimberley replied: honey, give your notice. life is far too short to be so miserable. hubby will have to get on board when it happens. even if you don't get a job right away, employment insurance and savings can float you. it really isn't worth your heart ache and your kids are little only for so long. i say just do it.

cameragirl21 replied: what kind of work do you do, Amy, and what kind of work are you looking for? i can't really offer advice if i don't have enough information and tbh this is a good time to be looking as there are quite a few companies hiring but without knowing what you are looking for i'd not know which direction is best for you.
feel free to send me your resume...before dropping my six figure salary to become a self employed photographer i was known for getting any job i wanted...not that i enjoyed any of them, which led me to where i am now but that's another story.
you can email it to me if you want at Jennifer@JenniferNewmanPhoto.com.
good luck without whatever decision you make and i hope you find something new that you love ASAP!

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I'm so sorry sweetie! Since you have been there ten years, sounds like you probably have a GREAT resume to put out there now. Not that waitressing was bad by any means (BTDT), but staying with a company for that long speaks VOLUME these days! Since you have 4-6 weeks paid out, why not just go for it? You can always talk with a temp agency for those in-between moments. Savings or not, I think you can get by...but I say this without knowing whether you guys are in debt or not. If you fall behind on payments, that's always a bad choice IMO. But if you can get by for a few months and pay your bills, then I say do it. You just might need to change your lifestyle for a while. Like going out to eat (not that I know if you do this) and maybe get rid of cell phones or gym memberships, you know, the things you don't HAVE to have. I think you are RIGHT ON when saying that your family doesn't benefit when YOU aren't happy. I think your DH must just be nervous. 10 years is a long time, so he is probably pretty comfortable with the lifestyle you guys live now. A little change is always good in my book.

Can you start putting a month's worth of expenses away now so that you know you will be okay for a while? DH puts away a few months worth so that if he ever loses his job, we can still pay our bills. I would of course look for work if he lost his, but at least this way we know that we have everything covered.

GL! You'll find something!

amynicole21 replied: Jennifer, I'm a buyer for a wholesale company. Not very glamorous I'll send you my resume tomorrow. Thanks!

aspenblue1 replied: I am sorry. I was in a similar situation at my previos job. I had worked there for 8 years when I finally had enough and found another job. I had to take a pay cut but it is well worth it. I actually like my job and the company I work for now. I hope you find something soon.

TANNER'S MOM replied: I completely understand.. hence I am drawing my unemployement benefits right now. But I am not sure what is right for you. I second guess my decision all the time. But you have to do what makes you happy..and it doesn't sound like these people do. Best of Luck.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Amy, I'm sure you've calculated the $$... but you did take into account daycare stuff, right? How much do you "actually" bring in income wise, if you consider all that you pay out of your paycheck?

That's what happend with us... I realized that with the daycare costs we'd be paying...it wasn't worth me going back to work when we moved... not to get a job when at the end of the line, I was only bringing home 200$ extra. We cut that 200$ in extra spending... and we are quite comfortable now, we have a nice chunk in our savings too.

Could you stand being home with your little one all day? would you think you'd be able to watch another child or two for a few months?

TheOaf66 replied: if you stay at a job you hate you will dread it more and more and your performance will suffer, sure you have a lot of time invested but if you're not getting treated right and you are miserable then I say take the 6 weeks and find a better job.

A&A'smommy replied: I hope you are able to find a better job soon, it is VERY hard to be in a place that you really don't like!!!

DansMom replied: First of all, If you're crying every night, you obviously need to get out of there. In general, it's best to leave a place you've been at so long on good terms, in a good way, to keep your contacts and references in place, but only you know whether the current situation is unbearable for you. I'm the type who sucks it up for a bunch of reasons, but I would still be actively looking. When I moved from secretarial work into publishing, I had a lot of help from a counselor who specialized in career counseling. It did make a difference. Finding something you love, even if it pays less, adds so much to your quality of life.

amynicole21 replied: Thanks, guys. I gave my notice this morning. I'll be here at least 2 weeks, and let them know I could probably stay longer if they needed me. I feel a little better, but still very sad and apprehensive. I have no job to go to, so I've been searching online non-stop since Friday.

Rocky, I make half of our income, so staying home with the kids would still leave us pretty short on cash.

If I don't have a job in 3 weeks I'll start temping. I do hope I find something soon though.

coasterqueen replied: Sorry I didn't get to reply sooner Amy. I think you did the right thing. Your happiness is far better for the entire family then going through with staying there and being unhappy.

I did it once, before kids...BUT we had closed on our house in October of 1999 (I think that was the year, lol) and before Thanksgiving '99 I couldn't handle my job anymore. It was going sour for a very long time and all of a sudden I had a breakdown, couldn't function, cried constantly, hated anything and everything for having to be there. DH was the one that pushed me into quitting. I was so scared to death on how we were going to make our first mortgage payment in December, but he told me we'd live off of credit cards as long as we could if it meant I would be happier, so I put my notice in and said I'd stay as long as they needed me to. Luckily two weeks later I got another job making $15,000 more a year! Yeah, I was literally shocked and it was doing the same thing as I was doing at the old job! Was the best move I ever made!

You won't regret it in the end. I know it.