If your 3 year old had a knife what.....

mommyfortune wrote: would he do with it? My 3.3 year old claimed on a counter to get ahold of knife at daycare and jabbed holes in an ab lounge chair within a 10 minute time frame while provider was changing/dressing baby what would your reaction be? He knows knives are dangerous and you don't play with knives. I thank god it nothing worse happened, but we are both beside ourselves wondering why he did this? The provider takes partical responsiblity for what happened, but we are all having a hard time understanding why would he do this??? At home to likes to get into everything, he likes to climb, and make a mess, but he has never been distructive at home. Honestly at daycare he is a completely different child, and felt daycare has always been good for him because he doesn't ever get into anything there, and is very well behaved at daycare. She has never had any 'problems' with him. He has been there for 1 1/2 years parttime.

Boys r us replied: I don't think a 3 year old can really be questioned about their behavior with a knife.
He's just 3, ya know.
If he's like most normal 3 yr olds he's seen cartoons and maybe even a movie that you or someone else were watching, which could have had someone with a knife stabbing something. I don't know..but I don't really see it as abnormal..sounds pretty typical of a 3 yr old and his emulating skills...they're great copy cats at this age! I guess the question I would be prone to ask is why there were knives anywhere a 3 yr old could get to them?

Boys r us replied: when I say..it doesn't sound abnormal..I don't mean the fact that he was playing with a knife..I mean that he was using the knowledge he was armed with to "play".
In my opinion he HAD to have seen that somewhere...kwim? So he was just reinacting!

JAYMESMOM replied: I would not be worried about destructive behaviour from your son. He sees people use knives and sees things on tv. I am sure he was not doing it to be destructive. I would be more concerned as to why he knew where the knives were and had access to them?

I would also talk with him and explain they are dangerous and not to use them.

mommyfortune replied: I questioned it to why was he able to get to them also. She showed me where she kept the knives and he did have to climb up onto the counter in order to get to the cupboard in which she keeps them. I suppose he's seen her using them during lunch prep, and knows where she puts them away at. She hasn't tried to justify the situation at all, but she did ask me where I keep my knives, and needless to say I had to move all mine when I got home that day from the silverware drawer. I also know I leave mine sitting in the dishwasher or the dish drain all the time. I just don't know. I haven't been able to take him back since it happened.

The day it happened she called me right away, told me what happened and had me come and get him. He's been staying with family members the last three days I have worked, but that is only short term. I just haven't been able to take him back. I sense she's is really unsure about him coming back, but since this happened she has put all her knives/ steak knives in a lock box except a parring knife she uses all the time in a differet cupboard on a higher shelf which she has to climb to get at. She says she isn't mad at him, but that if he comes back she'll have to shadow him, and he won't be able to play in the living room as he did before for awhile. She has a nice playroom which she spends most of the day in and is visable from her kitchen, but when she made lunch and she tends to the baby they were always allowed to go into the main living room (where this happened) to read books or play with blocks, or they may go with her. My son will now be going with her all the time. She cares for 4 other 3 year olds and she has never had to deal with an issue like this..so this has been a real eye opener for the both of us.

Jamison'smama replied: You think she is unsure if he should be back--if she thinks that she is wrong. Watching your child and making his area safe is her responsibility. Childproofing is recommended for a reason. Kids get into everything. Jamison has poked holes in things with a ballpoint pin. Poking things if fun..well to them. We are the parents/caregivers; it is our job to make the areas safe. If kids climb (which most 3 year olds do), then putting knives up in a cabinet is not enough. My kid climbs to get to the cookies so I know she can climb. Just because it has never happened before doesn't make it strange for your child to have done.

mammag replied: In my opinion, your child should not have been unsupervised long enough to climb up, get the knife, and stab the ab lounger. I am a daycare provider and at 3 you really must be aware of what they are doing at all times. Now that doesn't mean hovering over them watching their every move but you should know where they are and what they are able to do. If she needed to change the baby she should have your child within vision of her.

I understand that things can happen but had she known what he was up to she could have stopped him from climbing up in the first place. I think the blame has to lay on her, not your child.

I would also take this as an opportunity to explain the danger of knives to him so that even if he does come into contact with one he will respect it and not think of it as a toy.

Isabelita replied:
I agree.

I tend to agree with what the others have already said, but this is a big safety issue and I would be concerned for his safety

gr33n3y3z replied: I agree with Jeanie
Why were those in his reach and any other kids reach as far as that goes

Mommy2BAK replied: Wow, I am kind of in shock that the care giver is uneasy about him coming back, she was the one in the wrong, not him. How long did it take her to change that baby anyways. She shouldn't have left him unsupervised, especially long enough to crawl on the cabinet, then get the knife, crawl down, go into a different room, then stab that ab lounger for that long. And actually as sick as it sounds, she should be glad that is all he stabbed. What I am trying to say is you sound like a good mom who is concerned, but your son didn't do anything that some other 3 year hasn't already done, I don't think he was being distructive on purpose, like Jamison's mom said, its fun to poke things. Good luck, keep us updated!

mommyfortune replied: Where do you keep your steak knives at home? She has not blamed my child at all. She said to me she should've known something was wrong because he always comes with the get the baby up and that time he didn't. She just thought he was so invovled with his project he just wanted tokeep working on it. He really scared the both of us and I sense she is uncomfortable taking him back only because of what happened. What if someone else would of been in the room with him, and something happened to him or one of the others. I know she told the other parents what had happen, and how incredibily quility and responsible she feels. It's could of been a really bad situation and I am so thankful no one got hurt.

mommyfortune replied: He acts out alot at home, and I think he's started to test her as well. I do share with her alot of these issues, and we've always been trying to figure out why he's is so different at home from there. I figure its because she has excellent structure, and she is extremely consistant with him. Example of home life last week..he opened up a brand new juice and dumped it on the floor, while playing in his room dumped his drawers, bedding, shelves, he took stuff off the walls, and he broke several pictures. In the bathroom he dumped lotion, shampoo, toothpaste everywhere, and ate a bunch of flintstone vitimains. This is normal behavior for him at home, and now I'm worried he's going to start acting out at dc too. I guess that is why I'm reluctant to bring him back, and probably why she may be reluctant as well. She said he can come back whenever I am ready to bring him back. He has a hard time adjusting to new situations so I'm not sure I want to put him anywhere else. I have always trusted her, I just don't know what to do, and why my son has to act out so much.

I've always thought it was normal 3 year old behavior, but through tsalking with others about this I'm beginning to question that.

kimberley replied: ok, what i am getting from you is that you and the dcp are questioning if there might be something wrong with the child for doing these things, am i right??

if that is the case, then i agree with everyone else in saying NO! this is all normal curiosity for a 3yo. the real concern is why are these things made available to him? vitamins, knives???? these things can kill your child! invest in safety locks, baby gates, clear shelves, lock drawers... these are all measures that the adults here should be taking instead of looking for something wrong with the child. and make sure that you are both consistent in telling him what is acceptable and what isn't. how can a 3yo understand that it is "okay" to dump drawers at home but not at daycare? the amount of supervision should be the same. jmo.

mammag replied: To me its starting to sound like an attention seeking thing. Do you spend a lot of time with him at home? Or are you going around trying to get things done when you get home? Is the baby at the dc new? Perhaps she has started paying more attention to the baby and not to him so he is acting out to get her attention. To little ones bad attention is better than no attention. This is just an idea to consider.

Good luck on making your decision. I know parenting can be hard.

3xmommy replied: I wouldn't worry too much... Two weeks ago my son used his little kid scissors to cut up his bedsheet... (no, don't know how he got them since I lock the door to my bathroom... husband I guess) and I can't see your problem any differently. Kids this age are so curious and experimental and trust me, they'll push your buttons. He'll push every damn one until he can see what each thing makes you do, know what I mean? He probably thinks ya know well, let's pour juice in the floor, see what mommy does... etc... UNLESS you don't get enough time with him. I've been spending more time with my kids and it's helped. They need attention... if they can't somehow get good then negative attention will work just fine.

Diane

MommyToAshley replied:
I have to agree with Brenda and the others here. I would actually be wondering if I would take him back to the DC, but for different reasons. Anyone that takes care of children should already have their knives locked up... and you should expect her house to be fully childproof. I know you said she took responsibility for not having the knives up, but I am not sure how much confidence I would have that her house is childproof. And, it does sound to me like she has a lot going on... that's alot of toddlers to take care of and then a baby on top of that. But, I don't know the whole situation, just what you have said.

As for your son's behavior, I think it is normal toddler curiousity. I don't think he meant to be destructive... like Brenda said, poking things is fun to them.

PanthersGirl replied: I think i would be more worried about the daycare allowing this to happen. Knives should be no where near children to where they can get to them.