I'm BACK!!!!! - LONG

luvbug00 wrote: Hi Everyone!! I've misssed you all sooo much. I'm still wedding planning but somthing has come up and I have to call on all my wonderful friends for advice. My friend kim I told you about, long story short.. Has no family, her ex husband is a weed smoking dingbat and she has been struggling with housing for quite some time. She has a rather large dog which has hindered her searching but we finally found a place for her ( she can only afford renting a room somwhere) . Then this weekend I noticed she's been acting rather odd. so I got her to take a pregnancy test and she did and to ALL of our surprises she IS. SOOOOO now there is NO way for her to get a room and she can't keep the Dog. She wants to keep the baby but like I said she has no family, and so Brad and I have asked her to move in with us. so I guess WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY IN THE HOUSE AGAIN!!!!! YEAAAAAAA!!!!! best part is I don't have to do the pregnancy. anyway on to my questions...

Brad and I disscussed thuroughly what effect this will have on our family so this we are sucure in but are there any other questions we should ask ourselves or kim??

Hillbilly Housewife replied: uh...who's the father, and will he be involved?

Will she be paying you rent? how much?
Will she be getting her own groceries?
Do you have a bathroom schedule? a cooking schedule?
A schedule for chores? tv watching schedule, or more than one tv?


Sorry to be nosy... i'm not trying to be... I've had a friend of ours live with us for 4 months, and an aunt live with us for 8 months, one of those months her SO lived with us too, and those were issues that came up. Well, except for the baby part.

gr33n3y3z replied: It is going to have a huge effect on your family alone with her just being there let alone with a baby in the house.
I think its great what your doing for her I really do but I have seen so many marriages go south bc of having another in the house.
Maybe she can get a night job and save her money to move out I think that is the best offer to offer her.
A third adult in the house just isnt a good idea
I just hope I didnt hurt your feelings with being truthful.

mammag replied:
Unfortunately, I agree with Lisa. It is definitely great what you are doing for her but you do need to lay down some ground rules right off the bat. Rocky had a lot of good questions that need to be put out there. Also, being single, what are the rules going to be as far as her having friends, future romantic interests, etc. over.

I would definitely charge a little rent to help out with extra utility costs. I assume if she was looking for a place she must be working, right? I'd really make a plan for the food. It seems like a small issue but when my sister had her sil living with her it became a big problem. She was helping herself to the family food but being stingy with her own. Anyway, it's hard to tell what issues will come up but the most important thing is that you all agree to bring any complaints out in the open right away so that no one is holding in resentments.

Hope it works out. Good luck!

BTW, it's great to see you in here again.

MyLuvBugs replied:
THose are all the same ones that popped into my head also.

luvbug00 replied:

I understand but arround here it is almost impossible to get a one bedroom for under 1000. and she just could never afford that plus daycare for an infant all day and all night. as she works alll day.

MyLuvBugs replied: So when your lease is up and you find a bigger place, will she move with you or stay in the smaller place and sublet from you?

It sounds like you have thought of most everythig. Just curious about space for the new baby though. Baby stuff seems to take up a lot of floor space. Do you have the room for that sort of stuff?

OH!! And will she have furniture to bring in or will she need to store furniture in a storage facility?

Halo42101 replied: Hmmm, well, I suspected there was a baby in your surprise but I honestly thought you were expecting again. I hope this works out for you & your friend as planned, Nadia. Congrats. to your friend!

C&K*s Mommie replied: No thoughts on the above subject, just & to see you back around.

ETA: No thoughts or opinions about what to questions to ask. It sounds like you have great advice so far, and you have many bases covered too. But CONGRATS to her on the PG.

luvmykids replied: First of all, she's very blessed to have a wonderful friend like you right now!

I agree with the questions the others had, my only advice would be that as silly as something may seem now, to get it out in the open just to avoid complicating a great friendship or your family. If you're each buying your own groceries, does that mean absolute hands off each others stuff? That kind of stuff.

Best wishes to her!

luvbug00 replied: ?

she will be moving with us. she already has a bunch of stuff in storage and so she really has all of a duffle bag to move. she has to get rid of her dog because of mya and brads allergies and she claims to be ok with that. and as far as groceries she will put in a quarter of total grocery cost ( we decided to split everything 3 ways) and the food will be a free for all! and as far as the baby we can manage. I think..

Jessi, I knew you'd think that. Sorry, nope I'm not. and I still have a surprise for you all.

Thanks everyone i knew i could count on you!!!

CantWait replied: While I think it's commendable what you're doing. If she's paying you rent, then she's not going to expect to completely follow by your rules.

I think you and your future dh are putting yourselfs in a tough spot.

Best of luck.