I'm angry, disgusted and upset - My poor brother

CantWait wrote: Six years ago my brother met a girl that was WAY to young for him. He was in his 30's, she was only 16 or 17. Regardless they've been together since. Only now I come to find out through my mom that she's being a gold digging little w*&^e and taking him for everything he's got.
He's got nothing. My brother isn't the type to fall for someone easily, but she managed to sink her claws into him, and he's treated her like gold. He works full-time, comes home and cooks for HER, she does nothing, my grandma cleans their living areas, and does their laundry, she works p/t at a bar (includng Christmas, which I don't believe) and for past years has even bought her families tons of Christmas presents, and food for Christmas, while our family has got nothing. I'm not complaining on the fact that we get nothing, but just saying that he's gone above and beyond for her family. Well the last two years he hasn't bought Christmas dinner for them and hence he hasn't been invited for Christmas dinner Who does that. Regardless if they are married or not, they've been together for 6 years (more then that) and they should be spending Christmas together. My grandma says she comes home late, and when she does finally get home, she's in the car with some guy for half an hour to an hour nekking with him. Now my grandma likes to exagerate things and what not, but something is not right here. My mom says that my brother is clearly depressed, and won't go out. I feel awful for him. He doesn't even have the money to go see a dentist and get his teeth fixed because he spends everything on her.
I don't understand how people can be so cruel.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Oh Marie, I'm so sorry to hear that........

luvmykids replied: How awful, who invites or doesn't based on who is buying the food?!

I'm sorry he's so beat up over her

Calimama replied: I'm sorry, how horrible.

Danalana replied: Geez, that stinks!

Kentuckychick replied: UGH... poor guy.

My older brother was in a similar situation -- though not quite as old as your brother with a younger girl (he was 25 - she 18) together three years and the same sort of things happened. In a way it was as if he was her father, NOT her boyfriend. I mean the relationship seemed that way to a lot of us.

She cheated on him several times and each time he went back to her. Well we worked at the same place and one day our mutual friend came up and told me that another guy we worked with (who didn't know they were together) had been talking about how they'd been sleeping together. This was two days before they were to go out of town for two weeks. I had to say something and I did and thankfully after all that he ended the relationship that night.
Even after that I think he would have gotten back together with her had we (my parents, brother and I) not been on him constantly not to do (in a positive manner).

Sorry to go off on a tangent, but my point here is, I really think that once you get into a bad relationship, if you're the one who's being treated badly, being cheated on, lied to, etc... too often it becomes to easy to just sit there and take it. Even though it's miserable and even though you want out, you can't leave. That's where my brother was (as he told us later). I would support your brother as much as you can... convince him that there are better people in this world and that no one deserves being treated like that. She's only 21 or 22 right now... she's realized it's not what she wants... it's not going to get better.

MoonMama replied: That is horrible! I am so sorry.

jlowe308 replied: Sorry to hear about this gold digging girl.It can happen to the best of people sometimes.Some people in lfe are legitimate and some people only have one goal and that is to take as much advantage of someone as they can.I know your brother is quiet a bit older.Some older/younger marriages work but alot of them don't becasue of the age gap difference.It sounds like to me she is just being young and he is just being matured.I cannot tell no one else how to live but from the sound of things he needs to divorce and find a woman around his own age.jlowe358

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
I totally agree.

gr33n3y3z replied: Sorry hun but I have to say he created a monster with her.
The reason why I say he is is bc he could have said No

But what she is doing to him is totally so wrong and I hope he opens his eyes and gives her the boot

CantWait replied:
I agree Lisa. I think it's just cause he never took a relationship serious and he had a lot of problems before he met her. Maybe he thought it was the right thing to do, or who knows. We do crazy stupid things when we fall in love.

A&A'smommy replied: oh goodness I'm So sorry to hear about that!!! I hope he can find a way too move on and kick her sorry butt out!!!

grandma replied: Sorry to hear about your brother and his relationship. Sometimes no matter how bad we want things to be a certain way...it is simply out of our control.
I would suggest you sit down and have a heart to heart talk with your brother, explain your concern for his happiness. Get a feel for how he sees the relationship and if by some carzy chance he gets what he needs out of it. All people are different and what is 'normal' for you might not be 'normal' for him.
After you have the talk, it is simply out of your hands and you may just have to let it go, for your own happiness.
My mother has this never ending desire to make everyone's life 'perfect' or what seems 'perfect' to her. She worries about everyone, all the time. I try to tell her she can't control everything...she doesn't understand that concept.

holley79 replied: That's horrible sweetie. I'm sorry to hear she is doing this to your brother. She will get hers in the end for sure. I hope your brother is able to get away from her and get out of the depression quickly.

Boys r us replied: What a crappy situation to watch your brother be in. Unfortunately there probably isn't much you can say or do to help him..you know..I mean really, he's created this. It sounds like a very unhealthy relationship where he feels almost indebted to her..maybe he feels like he, himself, isn't good enough for her so he needs to give her money and material things to pacify her and I'd say there is a very good chance he may know about this other guy she's making out with, but doesn't want what he has left of a relationship with her to be dissolved so he tolerates it..which in turn enables it. and to tell ya the truth as painful as it is to watch happen for you, it sounds like he's just addicted to her and you'll only be the bad guy if you go in with your guns blazing about her! BTDT!

sparkys2boys replied: Well thats to bad that he was so good to her and njow she is doing this. But you know in the end maybe it would be for the best if they werent together.. KWIM.. he sounds like a great varing guy and should be with someone that is going to be the same way to him. Hope he gets thur this