I'm beyond emotional and I need some level headed - advice!

Boys r us wrote: I don't know what my deal is..if I hadn't taken 4 pg tests that were all negative, I'd
swear I was pg..with my emotions the way they are and my period being 3 weeks late!

Anyhow..Usually for Thanksgiving my family goes to my grandparents house for dinner about 5:30 or 6 and Rick's family does thanksgiving about 1pm. I don't really like going to my grandparents house for it b/c my aunt smokes like a freight train..IN THE HOUSE and well..the food isn't ever that good either! So it works out good b/c we can eat at Rick's families for the main meal around 1ish and then head over to my grandparent's about 5:30 and it all works out.

Well, this year I assumed the samething would take place..and Rick's mom emailed Rick last week to make sure we'd be there on Thanksgiving, he forwarded the email to me and of course, I said fine, no problem here..we'll be there.

So THEN my mom dropped the bombshell yesterday on me..and she said..my grandparents are going to Florida for turkey day and she was having thanksgiving dinner at their house! I said well, what time..and she said she has told everyone 3pm!

So Rick just emailed me and said his mom just told him dinner at their place was about 3!

the problem? I don't want to go to Rick's family thanksgiving thing..I want to be at my parents with my brothers and other extended family!
and I'm going to miss it!! My mom cooks SUCH good food and we are a really close family and I want to be there! It's upsetting me so bad and I know it shouldn't be bothering me this much, it's just a stupid meal...but I'm really sad about it!

rick's family cooks weird food and well..they're just NOT LIKE my family..they get on my nerves when I have to be around them for an extended time period!!
I'm going to hate having thanksgiving there, knowing my family is all together except for me and my dh and kids!

Would it be wrong of me to tell Rick I'm going to my parents and he can go to his..he can take Brae as long as he's back at a reasonable time so my family can visit with him too!

amynicole21 replied: Hmmm... that's a tough one! I would say it wouldn't be so difficult to just have the morning over at the IL's house and just eat a little there, then head over to your parent's house for the real meal? Do they live close by?

Boys r us replied: They live 30 minutes apart..and his parents..omg..you just don't understand..his dad's family is Italian & greek there is no EASY escape..not to mention they are eating at the sametime! and they wouldn't HEAR of us not eating there!

ediep replied: oohh, I feel your pain. I wouldn't tell Dh this, but we have the same problem on Christmas day. We always spend Thanksgiving with my family, Christmas eve is at my house, so both of our families are here, then christmas day we always go to his families house, while my family spend the morning at home, then church, then goes to my sisters house to see the kids and their new toys. I would rather just stay home with Dh and Jason.

anyway, sorry, I don't have advice unless you thing DH would go with the idea of spending it with you family or having dinner with your family, then going to his family after

MomToMany replied: Boy, what a dilemma. I know it would mean not eating there, but could you spend the morning at your family's place, then go eat dinner with his? I can't think of any other way to do it, unless you convince your family to do it the next day or something.

I know my family is spread out all over, and we only get together about once a year. DH's parents are divorced, remarried, and his dad is divorced again. He's leaving to go to Arizona til February (DH's sister lives out there). YAY!

My2Beauties replied: I would sit Rick down and tell him how much this means to you. I would tell him you want to visit with his family too in the morning and then go to your parents in the afternoon, nomatter how much his family tries to get you to stay, be persistent and say no we have other plans as well we have to leave!

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I guess I'm lucky in that when DH and I got married we decided right then that we would alternate the holidays between families. We would alternate Christmas and we would celebrate Easter with his family and Thanksgiving with mine. I like what you suggested about you going to your parents and him going to his parents. That could work. Or you could decide that from now on you will alternate years and next year you will spend Thanksgiving with his family. Good Luck and let us know what is decided.

Jamison'smama replied: Any chance your mom can change the time a little? I feel your pain as well--explain the situation to your mom--let her know you committed to DH's family before knowing all the details. If it can't be changed, maybe you spend the morning with DH's family---stay for dinner then leave right afterwards--either DH can stay there or come with you but you book it to your folks in time for dessert and spend the evening there--they'll have yummy leftovers

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I'm sorry, hun! Can you tell your mother to have her Thanksgiving a little earlier? Just be honest with her and talk to her about your feelings. She will understand and you guys will get it all worked out. I promise. Let her know that you thought things would be as usual so you made plans to be at Rick's family's house early that day and could she either have it later or earlier so you could visit with your family, too. Let us know how it goes. Try not to be so upset, sweetie.

kimberley replied: oh no! that sucks! i agree about asking your mom to change the time. if not, i would probably tak to DH about going your separate ways for the dinner. good luck with your decision.

coasterqueen replied:
I know the pain of being in an Italian family...there's NO EASY way to get out of the house. I know.

Anyways, IMO I think it's fine to just tell Rick how you feel and that he can do his thing and you can do yours. I told DH a long time ago that I wanted to have Thanksgiving with my family and if he didn't want to do that he was more than welcome to go to his family's. I let him know I'd not be upset at all. But he chose to go to mine instead. I leave the door open every year to him as to where he wants to go. He has to be grown up enough to make that choice.

If you can't get one of them to change the time a bit I'd just be honest with him. In our situation Dh isn't too terribly upset he can't spend Thanksgiving with his family because we spend Friday, Saturday and Sunday (literally from 6 am til late at night) with his family making candy..so it works out for us.

That's a very tough situation.

A&A'smommy replied: Oh wow no I don't think its just you I would be upset too just tell your hubby what your feeling and see what he says. ((((HUGS)))) let us know how is works out!

Josie83 replied: Nichole I'm sorry you're going through this crap . . . celebrationsa nd holidays always cause so much trouble. I don't really have any new suggestions to offer, but Mollie's idea sounds lie a good one. Hope you work it all out xx