I'm gonna loose it...

PrairieMom wrote: You guys, The Boy is driving me completely insane. I really don't know how much more I can take. I know that he is just being a normal 3 year old, but good grief! He has to argue with everything I say, if I say look, there is a fly, he will say, no mommy that is a bee. There is no correcting him either. I thought it would be at least 10 more years before he became way "smarter" than me. not to mention that I have to tell him to do something a thousand times before he does it, and his always asking Why, why why? oh, and his newest thing... "but I don't want to!"
How how how can I get my little man to listen and follow directions with out having to beat him? He is seriously driving me nuts. DH said he could FEEL the frusteration comming off me this afternoon!
The Boy wont eat
The Boy won't Poo ("but I DON"T WANT TO go Poo Poo!")
The Boy won't potty, until it is to late and he can't make it to the bathroom. We have gone through 8 pairs of underpants in 2 days becuase his "potty came to fast" which I know is a bunch of bull, he has been fully potty trained for 2 months now.
He has also started being a little mean to his sister, ( I wondered when THAT was going to start) He took her passy away from her and threw it on the floor this morning.
Okay, I am totally rambeling, but it feels good to get some of this out!
I know that this is normal toddler behavior, and I know that part of the problem is that I have way to high expectations of him, he IS only 3, but good grief, there is no reason why he can't get dressed by himself. There is no reason why he can't sit at the dinner table with the rest of the family while we eat, even if he refuses to eat, and have conversation with us...

Okay ladies and gentlemen, I am ready for advice.

1lilpeanut2love replied: is all I have for ya. Sorry he is being a pain in the but. Haven't BTDT yet!

C&K*s Mommie replied: I have no advice, as we are entering into a new phase with our two girls, one where I may have to turn here for advice too.

All I can say is to you, and what I think to myself often is that others have been where I am at, I will make it through this.

PrairieMom replied: I feel like I am failing him somewhere. We shouldn't have to spend so much time in time out, or getting hands slapped. It seems like I don't get to enjoy him anymore, all I ever do is yell at him.

cameragirl21 replied: if you don't mind my asking, why do you refer to him as the boy instead of calling him by his name?
he obviously wants your attention, seems to be jealous of little sister....

C&K*s Mommie replied: No doubt about it, and while I do not know you personally you are not failing him. Trust me I have my days when I feel like I am ruining our girls for life, since they are always getting into trouble. I know most of it comes from getting up early which throws their entire day out of whack, then on the weekend they are back to normal.

You are doing fine, he may be testing his limits now. Keep the consistency up, if he needs a hand slap and that is your parenting style keep at it. Step it up if need be, just do not back down. He needs that consistency. He is still learning right from wrong, even if he does more wrong at times than right-- you are there to show him the difference. You are doing fine as his mother.



ETA: the emphasis on the NOT failing him part.

My3LilMonkeys replied: Brooke is only 2 and I am running into many of the same issues....other than the being mean to little sister - we've finally (almost) gotten over that since Madison is starting to fight back.

I am anxious to see what kind of advice you get - I could use the help too!

mom2my2cuties replied: My girl does the same thing. I don't think he is jealous, its age through and through. My son went through this too. Got worse with a little sister around, but it wasn't because of jealousy - we had a long talk with his psychologist about it because I was just on the verge of loosing it on him at one point over the same kind of stuff.

I do not think you are failing him. I have seen your posts, you are a wonderful mom and while I am sure, like all moms, you make mistakes, I think it takes a lot more than a couple of mistakes to ruin or fail your child.

PrairieMom replied:
I just always have. Its' his nickname that developed when DH and I talk about him. I call Alexis The Girl some times too.

PrairieMom replied: I think today was jsut one of those bad days ya know? I hope tomorrow goes better. Being cooped up in the house doesn't help either. He really is a good kid, I just wish he would learn to listen. I can't seem to find a punishment that will work on him either. He doesn't care about time out, hand slapping doesn't work, spanking doesn't pahse him, and he doesn't care about any toy enough to be bothered if I take it away from him.

kit_kats_mom replied: K did similar things for awhile. We used the rock system to get her back on track. I've talked on this board alot about the rock system but if you can't find it, I'll try to look up the link later. Basically, accentuate the positive and let him work towards something he wants (most likely time with mom or dad playing his favorite thing)

It's rough but the family dynamic has changed from what he's always known. A peek at your world through his eyes may yield a different view.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
Zach was like this, until I made time-out worse... it's on his knees on the floor in a corner, facing the wall, forehead on wall and hands behind the back. Now, all I need to do is mention time-out anmd he smartens up. It might sound a little extreme to some... but when even the dreaded time-out doesn't work, ya gotta do what you gotta do....

We've btdt with zach, and we're there now with Emilie. it is absolutely make-ya-wanna-beat-the-crap-from-them frustrating!!!

MoonMama replied: I hope he settles down SOON!

luvmykids replied:
Oh boy do I know how that feels. I go through it with one, we get straightened out, and then it's the other one. I just have to keep experimenting until I find what works at that particular phase and try to add in some extra mommy time. Hang in there and know you have lots of sympathy.

PrairieMom replied:
ooohhhhhh, that might work.... Maybe I'll try that. It sounds extreme, but it would be better to do that once or twice than the way I hve been doing it.

holley79 replied: I wonder if the potty revert is because of new sissy. Maybe he figures you change her you and you can change him? I think he is being the 3 yo though. I remember when Trevor was like that.

Oh can't wait till Annika is 3

my2monkeyboys replied: Although I only have 1 kid, a close friend of mine has 2, about the same ages as your 2. The oldest one reverted to pull-ups for a little while, no doubt bc of jealousy over the sister. His mom just let him use pull-ups, then after about a week he decided he'd use the potty like a big boy again. She never got on to him or anything, just let him work through it. Maybe that's an idea you could try.
As for the arguing with everything and not listening, we go through that too! My son is a genius for all he knows! LOL
It gets SO frustrating sometimes, but I've figured out that the best thing is to go outside when he gets that way. It's amazing what a little time running around the yard or kicking a ball will do for him. The other thing we do if we can't go outside at the moment, is to send him to his room. We make him sit on his bed with no toys until we allow him to come out (usually 3-4 minutes after he quits asking if he can come out now.)
Making him sit on the couch, etc for time-out didn't work bc he was still in there with us. Removing him completely from the area we're in works a lot better for us. If he starts talking back really bad or shows a nasty attitude, like starting at us with his eyes all mean looking, then he gets a spanking and sent to his bedroom. Then after he's been in there a few minutes he's allowed to come out as long as he (sincerely) apologizes.
These are just some ideas, I hope they'll help somehow! Remember, this too shall pass! Then there'll be something new to deal with!

PrairieMom replied:
It was REALLY bad when we first brought her home, we actually had him back in pull ups for a few weeks, but he has been so good for about 3 months now. I think he is just testing his boundries. he is so stuborn. He doesn't want to potty purely becuase I want him to.

JP&KJMOM replied: Girl I feel your pain. Mine are about the same difference in age and I remember oh so well JP kinda rebelling when Karlee got here. It was soooooooo hard for about 2 to 3 months cause nothing we did for him was right and his temper tantrums very more than frequent. Jealousy was about 75% of it and the other 25% was just a stage. He eventually got through it but we stayed consistant with discipline even though it was hard.

CantWait replied:
DH does this method also. Can't say it works any better.

Sorry you're having a rough time Tara. If it makes you feel any better. Anthony is pretty much the same way. Robbie wasn't like this expect when it came to meal times, so I'm not use to it.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
Must be the military way... that's the way my dad used on me.

TheOaf66 replied: been there done that, going through it now, everything is a debate with him and now he is just going for shock value, not sure of any advice but I am working on keeping my cool with him.

PrairieMom replied:
Dh thought that method was a bit Abu Ghraib, so I'm not making him kneal, he can stand instead. (that makes ALL the difference) Weve done it twice so far today hopefully it will work. DH said that used to get the paddle. Okay, and I"M abu ghraib? Good grief. Maybe I just shouldn't ask DH for advice...

A&A'smommy replied: I hope your day starts to go better honey.. and I can kinda feel your pain my little one is difficult too

Boo&BugsMom replied: I have noticed that in many kids, 3 is WAY worse than 2. I don't know where the saying terrible two's came from, because Tanner was an angel at 2...until his 3rd birthday hit, that is! 4 is much better, has it's moments, but is better than 3 for the most part with our boy.

I know one thing that has worked for Tanner is counting to 3. I usually never have to get to 3. He knows, is he doesn't listen and I start counting, he better get his butt in gear fast!

PS: we call Tanner "The Boy" sometimes too . Usually on the forum or when we are talking to others about him.

holley79 replied:
Well i can't wait till Annika acts out because DH will most likely let her get away with murder.

Anyway, Tara you are not a bad mom at all. You are a wonderful mom who is being tested by the Little Man in your life. I guess I will hit that soon and I'm sure I will be here asking the same questions and .

holley79 replied:
It's funny she asked this. I use to wonder in the beginning also but then it kind of became so normal I would refer to your little one as The Boy. We all knew who's Boy we were talking about.

mom2my2cuties replied:
Paddle is better than a switch...That is just cruel mean and downright horrible.

(((I still have scars from those dang things )))

PrairieMom replied:
See? I'm not crazy! If I called him by his name around here noone would know who I was talking about!