I'm nervous!

Danalana wrote: I am going shopping WAY out of town tomorrow, and Richard is keeping both babies. I'll be gone for HOURS and he has never even kept Kade by himself more than a couple of hours--and that has been when I was actually in the house Seriously, I am so nervous. Carter doesn't eat well when Kade is being sporadically loud, so I have to find ways to occupy Kade while I feed him. There are just a lot of tricks and things I have learned and he knows none of them. Plus, the snotty nose Carter got from the kid I babysat turned into an ear infection. I took him to the doctor yesterday and he is on antibiotics, but still not eating that great. I'm just afraid Richard won't feed him enough. I know that's crazy, but he really has never kept them, and it's hard work. I'm going to go over a lot of things with him tonight and make notes for him. I just want to be able to enjoy myself and not have to worry about how the kids are doing.
What did you do the first time DH kept the child(ren)?

bluebear replied: I would call him every so often to check up on the kids.

amymom replied: Dana, It will be fine. The kids will do great and Richard will be fine too!

Danalana replied: I'm afraid I'm going to come home and find Richard tied up

~Roo'sMama~ replied: I was nervous the first few times too, but what I really had to do was force myself to not worry about it and realize that Dh is perfectly capable of taking good care of them, even if he does things differently. Giving him too many instructions about every little detail just hurt his feelings. Also, the more he is with them alone the better it will go. He has to figure out his own tricks to make everything to work and it just takes time -- and they might not be the same things that you've figured out but they'll work just the same. Another thing I had to realize was, even if Andrew and Allie weren't as happy being alone with Scott those first few times as they always were with me, they'd still be fine. They might cry, and they might not eat as well as they did for me, but they would live through it and not be scarred for life.

jcc64 replied: Ita with the post above. He'll figure it out--maybe not the exact way you do things, but there is more than one way to skin a cat and he is their father after all. He should know how to take care of his own kids without you guiding his every move. It's not rocket science, and you figured out all of your little tricks through trial and error--give him the space to do the same thing on his own terms. The kids aren't gonna starve to death during the short time you're gone--if they're hungry enough--they'll eat. They need to roll with things, too. Go out, enjoy the time to yourself, and forget about them for a little while. They'll make it, I promise.

gr33n3y3z replied: Ed did just as well or better then me :-)
I think your worring for nothing give Richard more credit!!

mckayleesmom replied: The first time I left him alone with the kids Mckaylee was almost 2 and Russell was 2 months. I had no choice because I almost died and had to have emergency surgery. When he brought them to see me at the hospital Mckaylee had on clothes that didn't fit, Russell was wearing the same outfit I left him in and Mckaylee looked like a weed wacker attempted to do her hair...BUT, both were fine and healthy otherwise.

He will do fine, just remember that he won't do it exactly like you, but he will find his way.

moped replied: Kids always behave for everyone else but their mothers....he will be perfectly fine!

msoulz replied: So how did it go Dana? Were you able to get Richard untied from the chair?!?

Danalana replied: Just to clarify, I did not think they would die in richard's care, BUT I have seen how harried it gets when he watches both of them just for me to take a bath! And that was with both of them fed already.
I had to leave instrustions...if not, I know Richard and knew that he would call about everything. Also, Carter is the weirdest little eater ever. If he is sleepy AND hungry, he won't eat until he is asleep.
ANYWAY. My fears were not unfounded. Richard called me a few times...he couldn't keep Kade out of things and get Carter to sleep. Carter wasn't eating, etc...luckily, my MIL did check on them and they ended up getting Kade.
It's not that I don't think Richard can do things and I know it's not rocket science. I didn't want it to be a negative experience for him and them him not want to do it again. He tends to be extremely laid back, and often reacts to things slowly (like Kade in the toilet, etc... He called once and Carter was screaming. He couldn't get him to sleep and said he wanted me. He was EXHAUSTED when I got home, but one good thing is that he has a new-found respect for what I do all day Oh, and I did thank him for keeping them. It was nice to get out, except for the calls and stressing over my baby wanting me. Oh well, everybody is alive!

CantWait replied: Glad you had a good time.

Dads will never do it like mom, and we have to accept that. It won't kill the babies to miss a feeding, or get it late. Playing in the toilet, hmmmmmm hopefully he washed his hands after lol