I'm so angry.... - should I be??
Hillbilly Housewife wrote: Here's some backgroud on who's who:
MIL: SO's mom
C: my DG at my job - who also HAPPENS to be one of SO's cousins (female)
S: SO's godmtoher - who also HAPPENS to be the owner of the company we work for - and is NOT C's mom, but is MIL's sister.
We good?
Ok, here goes.
We told MIL, FIL and my mom that we were expecting a little while ago. We told C that we were expecting last Thursday, she was THIRLLED with it!!! She asked us if anyone else knew, we told her only our parents knew, and she told us she'd keep it a secret, since we told her we didn't want to tell anyone until after our wedding in May. She was completely agreeable with that, and she isn't someone to blab stuff.
Today, C told me offhandedly that S had called her ©, and had asked her © why she © hadn't told her (S) anything about me being pregnant, and C told her that it was something for Me and SO to tell S.
How did S know?
Through MIL? Who we asked specifically not to tell anyone?
MIL has a history of that kind fo crap....she did it to us for my pg with EMilie....I even confronted her and told her that I'd asked her not to tell nayone, and she purposely CONTINUED to introduce me to people as the "mother of her 2nd coming grandchild"...not even my NAME.
So... SO called his mom and asked her if she told S. MIL said no, she didn't.
However.... nobody else knew......
I smell FISH....
should I be angry? Or should I let it go?
amymom replied: You have every right to be angry.  It is what you do with that anger that is the true test.
However, back to who told. could (S) have been fishing and not really known but suspected and just got the confirmation from C? It is so hard to know. Especially now that MIL denies that she told. If she did tell, she will be mad at (S) for spilling the beans.
I think that you have more to think about what with the wedding and baby on the way than worry about something that is already done and can not be changed. EVEN though this really, really stinks and you have every right to be mad. Its' just what can you do with this anger now? You can feed it and let it run you or you can just let it be and KNOW that you are right and they all are terrible. phooey!! 
I feel bad for you.  And maybe SO and you can reiterate to all that now know that it is not, repeat not to be told to anyone else. Say something like "Ok we were trying to keep this private, and now you all (name them) know. But that is IT, absolutely noone else is to be told until we say ok. Even if we want to wait until the day before bean is born, it is our right to decide. So you are all part of a vow of silence. "
sorry I got long winded but I get upset with nosy, intrusive in-laws. (or out-laws as we call them  only with love.  )
beckamouse replied: i'd be really pissed. i hate when people do that.
Hillbilly Housewife replied:
I call them my out-laws too..... my mom laughs at me....
gr33n3y3z replied: I would be upset also
But what can you do now?
I would just forget about it but becareful who you tell next time 
Hillbilly Housewife replied:
NEXT time??? whaddya mean NEXT time?
jk!
Seriously though.... if "this" happens again, we're not telling ANYBODY! ha!
(I don't get that big when pg.... so it's not like it wouldn't be hard to hide.... )
mammag replied: I agree, I'd be mad, but let it go. Not much you can do now. Like someone else said, just reiterate that it's not to be told to anyone else.
JAYMESMOM replied: I would just re-iterate to everyone who now knows not to tell anyone else. Unfortunately you can't go back and stop the others from finding out.
kimberley replied: i would be bothered by it but would probably let it go. i mean if you knew she blabbed in the past, and you really didn't want anyone to know, then you prolly wouldn't/shouldn't have told her. best way to keep a secret is not tell anyone . just my 
amymom replied:
That is so funny. Because I can totally relate! Ten years ago I had a second trimester miscarriage and my MIL said "It is for the best because you are too old to have a baby anyway" I was 36!!!
So when we got pregnant (3 years later I was really old by then)with my daughter I didn't want to let my husband tell his family until we were over 20 weeks. My then 5 yr old son mentioned it to my MIL when we were 18 weeks.... but I tried. 
(I don't mean to hijack your thread but I can totally relate to frustrating in- oops OUT-laws)
Hillbilly Housewife replied:
I know.....
the "reason" she blabbed it in the past, which I can accept, is that for Zacharie - it was her younger son's first baby, she was proud. Fine, we didn't care.
For EMilie, it is that her mother was literally on her death bed, and she wanted to tell her mom before her mom died. I can accept that too.
Except that her zillion sisters were there too (10 sisters, 3 brothers. No joke.) SO and I got to the hospital about 2 minutes after she died.... and the FIRST thing they ALL said to me was, with a big smile on their face, congratulations on the pregnancy!
Kinda RUDE, considering their mom had literally just died.
ANyhoo... I accepted that.... and MIL figured (wrongly) that since she'd already told her sisters, she could tell everyone else at the funeral, which is where she was introducing me to everyone.
I just thought that I'd give her the benefit of the doubt, and that she would be able to respect our wish this time since there was nothing else "in the way", kwim? Oh well - until we can "prove" it was her, I'm letting it go - SO is supposed to talk to his godmother this morning to see who told her.... then we'll deal with it - at least we'll just tell the concerned people to keep it hush hush.
Boys r us replied: Well, I'd be angry...but then when you think about it, that doesn't really do ya any good to be mad? It wastes more of your engery than it's worth and gets nothing accomplished! Besides, if you've been burned by her once...why tell her again?
amymom replied: Hi Stephane, I am slowly reading all the birthing stories. I just read yours on Zach and this caught my eye. Esp. regarding this part:
Sorry to make fun.... but it made me smile. I hope you do not mind
kel replied: honestly if its zapping any of your positive energy then leave it!
as long as you and your SO are happy then thats all that matters..
its not worth your time/energy to be angry..i speak from esxperience ..my mil is the mil from hell ..as soon as i let go i was home free..
Hillbilly Housewife replied:
Stephane is my SO.... lol
Do I havea birth story posted on here?
I'll have to look it up...details of Em's birth are a little fuzzy, times are approximate...
but yeah... that's my typical MIL.... lol
amymom replied:
 Boy I am so silly. Sorry my face is red. I guess I tried to type it from reading it and being interrupted with phone calls etc. then going from memory. 
"Now what did it say her name was. Zach's mom oh ok...... WRONG"
Hillbilly Housewife replied: Here you go... here are the links to both my "birth stories" !!
Emilie: http://forums.parentingclub.com/index.php?...=6455&hl=emilie
Zach: http://forums.parentingclub.com/index.php?...=6517&hl=emilie
you have to scroll down fo rmine... lol
pics: http://forums.parentingclub.com/index.php?...=6517&hl=emilie
Hillbilly Housewife replied:
No big deal!
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