I'm so annoyed at my neighbor - sorry it gets long.

~Roo'sMama~ wrote: Ok, last year when we moved here, my next door neighbor (who is loud and obnoxious but seemed to be nice in a rednecky sort of way ) said that he would blow our sidewalks when winter came if we wanted him to, if we gave him money for gas once in a while. We said that's nice of you to offer but we never said "yes please snoblow my sidewalks". I didn't really know a nice way to say we'd rather just shovel them ourselves because we don't have extra dollars to hand out all winter.

Well he did it the first time it snowed, and I meant to thank him the next time I saw him outside - we usually ended up outside at the same time taking our dogs out. But for some reason he was never outside the same time as me... I should have just sucked it up and walked up to his door and thanked him - but I'm a shy person and I didn't do it.

A few weeks later my dad was here visiting and he went out to shovel - and my neighbor was out with his dog and mentioned to my dad that we are supposed to shovel right away (the snow had been there a few days and we hadn't gotten to it yet). He said he'd done it for us the last time and we never thanked him. My dad said he sounded really mad.
So, I felt really bad and wrote him a note thanking him, apologising for not thanking him sooner, and put some money in it, and stuck it in his door. Lo and behold the next time it snowed he snowblowed for us again. That time Dh went over to his house and thanked him and gave him $5. It snowed a couple more times that year and he did it for us again... once I was in the middle of shoveling when he said that he'd do it for me.

OK sorry that was long but necessary background for you to understand why I'm so annoyed today.

SO ~ last week it snowed an inch or two, and before we had a chance to go out and shovel my neighbor snoblowed it for us.
It melted 2 days later so it wasn't even needed. It was thanksgiving weekend and we were busy and gone a lot, so we didn't get a chance to thank him again - I haven't even seen the man for at least a month.

Yesterday it snowed again and he did his own sidewalks but not ours. I can not stress enough how GLAD I am that he didn't do them because I wanted to do it myself... I think shoveling (in moderation ) is fun. And I don't want to worry about having to thank him all winter. BUT I am super annoyed at the fact that he most likely didn't do it because he is mad that we haven't thanked him yet for doing it last week!!

If he just wanted to blow our sidewalks because he has a snowblower and it's fun to do, that would be fine even though I WANT to do it myself. Or even if he was just trying to be a nice neighbor without wanting recognition for it. But to expect us to run over to his house on our hands and knees thanking him - and bring him money?!

There ~ I just needed to get that out... sorry it was so long. If you read this whole thing you must be incredibly bored today!

adixon24 replied: Gotta love neighbors like him.....and yes I am bored this afternoon just trying to make this afternoon go by fast.....Have a good weekend and have fun shoveling!

C&K*s Mommie replied: I am not incredibly bored (I read it all) I just wanted to know the whole story.
But if he kindly mentioned that he would accept money every now & again for gas, why would he EXPECT it everytime? But it was kind of what he did, & maybe a generic "thank you" card (you know the kind you buy in packs) would be sufficient since it seemed to be a regular thing for him to do. So next time you could tape it to his door, if you are a shy person and do not wish to speak to him. Nonetheless thanking him in person, next time you see him, for the times in the past he has done it & any time in the future that he may do it again, should be fine.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: I just want to add, in case I didn't clarify enough, I'm not annoyed in the least that he didn't snowblow my sidewalks, but I'm annoyed at his attitude about it.

I could give him a thankyou note, but I don't really want to encourage him to keep doing it all year.

C&K*s Mommie replied: I understand your POV-- & I agree. I would be annoyed to at someone when they did a good deed for another, then they turn around and are haughty about it. But at the very least set him straight. Tell him you appreciate everything, but are capable of doing it yourself from now on.

Boys r us replied: Good grief!!!!! I don't know what to tell you..except that maybe him getting mad is a good thing! Actually, I do have an idea! Next time you see him, Thank him for shoveling your driveway the last time and then mention that you're still fighting the baby weight and are looking forward to the next snowfall so that you can get some FUN EXERCISE in!

PrairieMom replied: What ever happened to doing something for someone just to be nice? We always try to help out our neighbors. We do however have one set that has 2 snow blowers, and the year before we got ours never once offered to help us out. It gets a little tireing to always be the one that helps, and never be helped back.
This is my own personal rant, I agree with you on your situation!

kimberley replied: vent away. it really bothers me when people do something nice for someone else but expect something back. well then you're not just being neighborly, are you?! hopefully he'll get the hint and you don't have to deal with it all winter.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I don't blame you for being annoyed. Not one bit!! I don't know why he would expect you to thank him every single time. That's a bit weird.

Of course you are appreciative, but you didn't HIRE him to do it or even ASK him to do it. Therefore, you don't owe him money. A simple apology every now and then is sufficient and you have done nothing wrong.

We have a strange neighbor, too. She is a blind, elderly lady. Her kids are over there all the time and they are really good to her. They hire someone from their church to mow her lawn and normally they come every other week, but last summer they let it go for like 6 weeks. Around here that is a long time! So, Scotty mowed it one day when he was mowing our lawn...no big deal...he did it out of the kindness of his heart. He saw a need and met it. He was raised that way, kwim? 4 weeks later STILL no one had showed up to mow her lawn. So, one day Scotty saw her son outside and asked how his mother was doing (we never see her) and he said "She's fine..why do you ask?" Scotty said "Well, I noticed her lawn hasn't been mowed in awhile and I was concerned about them charging her for their service when they haven't been out." Her son very rudely replied "Some friends of ours mow her lawn and they were just out here a couple of weeks ago." Scotty said "Well, I hate to tell you this, but her lawn hasn't been mowed in 4 weeks and before that it was 6 weeks and the reason I know that is b/c I'm the one who mowed it last." He pretty much told Scotty that he wasn't getting any money for mowing it. Scotty told him that he doesn't know him at all if he thinks he was out to get money for doing something kind for his elderly neighbor. Our other neighbors were so angry when they heard that. And they told us her son is ALWAYS rude. She came over and offered to pay us, too. C'MON people!!! If we wanted to be paid for it we never would have done it, kwim?? We just like to look out for our neighbors and hope they do the same for us if they see anything suspicious or out of character. Her garage door is left up a lot and if it is late and still up I will call her and tell her. Everytime I've called her she had no idea it was up and it is always b/c her SON didn't close it when he left her house!! That could be really dangerous.

Sometimes you just can't be nice to people. But, in your case I think he had no grounds to be rude or stop what he was doing. Obviously you are young and have a little baby in the house and he should be willing to help out.

Now Sara if you read all of THIS you must be bored.

holley79 replied: Just tape a generic thank you card to his door. Tell him you appreciate what he did for you. Tell him that it is great you are shoveling your own sidewalk because you enjoy it and it gets you out of the house. I don't know. All our neighbors work together on things so I don't know what I would do in your place.

~Roo'sMama~ replied:
Lol that's a good idea. And sadly true, too.

~Roo'sMama~ replied:
What a weird situation! You'd think he would have been greatful to Scotty for letting him know that their lawn mowing service wasn't doing it's job.