Im so lonely....

A&A'smommy wrote: right now im really hating life, not my life just life...i feel so totally and completly lonely, im trying to talk about it but its like no one if offering to listen...i tried to talk to dh but it was like two sentences and it was over no help at all...and i tried to talk to my old friend again but its not like i really want to be friends with her...she just hasnt a clue about what life is like for me now, she doesnt know what im feeling or anything so i dont even see a point in trying to hard..i just hate to say goodbye forever and i kinda miss having another girl around...i want to cry so much right now and scream at the top of my lungs that im lonely i want someone to listen to me. I want someone to understand me to REALLY understand me...i HATE feeling this way and I HATE that i dont understand myself anymore i dont have a clue what i want from life or what i want to do with it..i like being a mom but i need a little more i always have. Dont get me wrong alyssa is so wonderful and my little light but im not the type of person that can just be satisfied with life doing EVERYTHING for other people, the way i get passion into my life is by doing something for myself every once in a while, like dancing and acting and just getting out every once in a while. I dont mean to make everything about me or to complain a lot but if i could just get someone around here to help me get it out of my system then i would be alright...i dont know what to do... im going to church sunday and im going to try to find something in the evening to get involved in and hopefully after i get permission from my oc im going to start working out again, going to the gym and walking. I know that when i start working out again i will feel so much better! anyways sorry for going on again i know i havent been very postive lately i just cant seem to get happy right now...thanks for listening to me again!

Kirstenmumof3 replied: OH Jessyann! I wish I could be there for you right now! I now how hard it is to be raising a baby when all of your friends are busy with there lives! I had my first DD when I was 20, all of my friends I meet in College and since I had just had a baby I couldn't go back to College. They didn't understand what I was going through, or that I needed them! When my DD was a few months old I just decided to call one of them up, I told them I needed to get out of the house! It felt so good to just go, to not talk about the baby, or worry about the baby. It was my time! I think you need to give that friend of yours a call and tell her you want to go dancing! You need a night to yourself and if your DH isn't comfortable watching the baby, see if your mom can watch her for you! And if your friend can't go out with you than just go out by yourself, get your battery recharged! Trust me you will feel so much better!

aspenblue1 replied: So sorry for what you are going through. I agree you probably need to get out for at least a little while it will help

ediep replied: I agree that you need to get out once in a while. Even if it is just once a week...it is important. I try to do that whenever I can. I also think its good for the baby to get used to other people..like DH or you mom or whoever.

kimberley replied: sorry you are feeling so down i went through this too after the boys. the one thing that really made me feel better was going back to school. not only did i feel like i was doing something important for me, i got to meet other people and made some really great friends. maybe you could take a part time or correspondence course. working out will also make you feel better. ((((big hugs)))) we are here for you.

DansMom replied: You can really feel cooped up if childcare is all you're doing 24/7---like you have no life but serving others. Even though I resented having to go back to work, I know that I could not do all the baby care without a break and a chance to have a grownup conversation about something other than the baby. I hope you can find someone to help with the baby so that you can go out a little bit---I'm sure it would help a lot.

jen replied: Okay, obviously I have not had my baby yet but I feel like I can see how you are feeling. When I lived in Virgina with my first husband I was separated from all my friends and family and my "support sysem". It wasn't my ex-dh's fault, we just couldn't seem to adjust! I resented him for moving me from my family and friends. It was AWFUL.

I couldn't agree with Kirsten more! You need to get out and do something for yourself at least one night a week if not more. Your DH needs to carry some of your load and you shouldn't feel the least bit guilty. He may begin to feel more comfortable with Alyssa if he has some one on one time with her. He may also see how much harder it is than it looks to care for her and maybe won't take you for granted if he is. You need your battery recharged, just as she put it!!

I am so sorry! I wish I was where you were because I would go out with you! I think we all would take you out on the town if we could! It is hard to see you down and lonely. You shouldn't feel guilty about needing some time for yourself, you just have to take that time and have fun and not lose that piece of who you were but instead create someone from your past and your present. Try not to feel like you have lost your old life because it is there, it just may be on designated nights now!

I am glad you are so open and talk to us! I know I am going to go through what you are going through and I know you will be there for me when I do!!!

mummy2girls replied: Oh jessy i am so sorry to hear you are feeling this way. (((HUGS))) If it wasnt for arons sister i would have no one to interact with. I felt that way though when jenna was alyssas age. I had no help from her daddy so i was all on my own. cooped up in the house 24 hours a day. It was in the winter and it was really cold so i could barely go out and do something. Plus i was living with my bro and his gf at the time for a few months (they let me live with them until i got a place of my own and went back to work) and i watched my nephew everyday during the week and my brother used my car to get to work. so needless to say i was stuck! the weekends i went to my ex's thinking i could get some relief but NOPE it was even worse. So i feel for you Go look for some playgroups around your area. you can meet some moms also in the same boat.

Guest_jem0622 replied: Offering lots of hugs and encouraging you to seek out a playgroup. You need contact with other adults and a place to have adult conversation.

When I was preggo w/ my birthdaughter I was really left out in the cold b/c my friends felt weird having a pregnant friend. They all had abortions and just moved on. Not saying that as a negative thing, just their decision at the time is all. So they just didn't hang out with me and when they did it was very awkward. After I had my daughter and moved on I felt like no one understood me and what I needed. I really had to stand up for myself and do things not only for myself but things that would make her proud of me one day if she ever decided to get in touch. It was my daughter's motivation that got me through college, and it was my faith that carried me through the rough days.

Keep your chin up. Get out and talk. Heck, even go to malls and as she gets older she'll crawl and play with other kids. Just strike up conversation with people. You need human interaction.

Don't know what to tell you about DH, but please don't hesitate to leave your daughter with him to go to the store or something b/c I didn't do that with Nathan and then anytime I absolutely had to go out without him he would freak and everyone was miserable.

You have us, so you aren't alone! BIG HUG

Julie

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Oh honey! I am sooooo sorry you are feeling this way. Just remember that it is okay to feel this way and perfectly normal. Other than just having a baby, it is also the holidays and that brings a lot of people down (including myself). I know things aren't the same for you and it is so hard to adjust to not being a child anymore and instead having to raise one. You aren't your own person and there is actually someone who depends on you. You are doing a great job. Get your feelings out. We are always here for you. Life is hard with a baby. My DH didn't help me at all with Maddie when she was born. Luckily I could leave her with my mom every now and then. You need and deserve some time for yourself. Just b/c you are a mother now doesn't leave you restricted to the confines of your home. When we moved here I joined a bible study group for moms at our church. It helped so much to hear that I wasn't alone. I think a lot of times that is all we need to hear, that others are going through the same things and experiencing the same emotions.

I hope you feel better soon! (((((HUGS)))))

mckayleesmom replied: Jessyann,,, Maybe you can volonteer somewhere for a couple hours a week. Deliver Meals on wheels or something to get you out of the house.

A&A'smommy replied: thank you guys...im doing lots of thinking right now about what i want to do...first im going to try going to church and see how things go there. My mom says there are a bunch of new couples in our sunday school class so i hope maybe i can make friends with some of them. There is one couple that went through the same thing that jay and i did, she got pg before they got married and they had a small wedding and ect..i would like to be friends with her she is really sweet!!! But thanks so much for everything i really needed the encouragement!!