Is slumbering child in restaurant OK? - Etiquette / Manners

basilbird wrote: I'd love to have your view of the following event that occurred many years ago, but that bothers me to this day:

I was visiting my sister who lives quite far away, with my kids who, at the time were about 7 & 9. After a long day of sightseeing, we went out to dinner to a casual ( much nicer than fast-food, but not 5 stars...)neighborhood restaurant. My youngest was exhausted and since we were sitting in a booth, she put her head on my lap and fell asleep.

Later, my sister, who has no kids, admonished me for embarassing her by allowing my child to have such bad manners at the restaurant. Children in her city, she insisted, never behaved like that. I was shocked, since I had been so happy that my child was quiet and not whining, or worse!

Was I wrong to allow my child to sleep, or was my sister out-of-line? I have had guilt and hurt about this for years, but have never confirmed what the proper answer is.

All comments greatly appreciated.

A&A'smommy replied: Um if she laid her sweet little head down and it wasn't a "fancy" restaurant then I don't see any reason why she should not have slept!!!

basilbird replied: Thanks for your comment! Yes, it was not a fancy restaurant, and all she did was sleep. I don't understand what's the matter with that. But if it's really awful, I'd sure like someone to tell me. Thanks again.

Our Lil' Family replied: My gosh if that was inappropriate then add us to those books. My youngest brother fell asleep at every meal that we had out until he was about 5! He has always just been quick to fall asleep after a good meal....there is NOTHING wrong with what you did, and you're right, would she had rather your child be whiny and make everyone around you miserable?! I think not!

My3LilMonkeys replied: Just 2 weeks ago we went out to eat in a family-style restaurant and Madison (who is 2) wasn't feeling well....I held her in my arms and she slept through 3/4 of the dinner. I see absolutely nothing wrong with it and neither did anyone else in my party (12 people). Our waitress even offered to bring me an extra few chairs to lay her on.

Jamison'smama replied: I'm fine with it too----my kids (although younger) have curled right up in a booth seat and slept through the meal.

Bamamom replied: Tripp has fallen asleep MANY times in his high chair at a restaurant. It always get big laughs cause he just slumps down and is OUT!

basilbird replied: Thanks to all who have responded! Doesn't it just drive you crazy (pet peeves) when people who don't have kids think they know it all about raising kids???

The one thing I know is that there's a lot I don't know! The other thing I know is that there is not one right way. Every child and every family is different, but we can all learn from each other!

By the way, If anyone reading my original post is from the city of BOSTON, I sure would like to know if kids fall asleep in restaurants there, or if they all sit straight up in their chairs!

gr33n3y3z replied: depends on the hour here but normal dinner hours
I do think a child who is 7 years old can stay awake and eat unless they just dont feel good all of a sudden.

CantWait replied: My goodness after a day out just shopping for a few hours I'm exhausted and would love a nap, I can't imagine what it's like for a 7 year old. Nothing wrong with a nap in mom's nap at all IMHO.

DVFlyer replied: Fancy restaurant or not, let sleeping babies lie. Unless they snore REALLY loudly.

TheOaf66 replied: now I would have waited until about 3am busted into her room and said "how dare you embarrass me by sleeping when you're tired"

some people just need an excuse to be a prick

basilbird replied: Great Dialogue!

Sure, I think most 7 year olds can stay awake through most dinners. Absolutely.

Certainly, my kids usually did when they were that age. So, for them to fall asleep in a restaurant, they had to be REALLY tired. I have to agree with most people here, so far, that I don't view this as "bad manners."

I think most people find a screaming child difficult to tolerate in a restaurant. Surely, we've all been on both ends of that one! (Hearing someone else's kid cry, or being mortified when it's our own!) But really? Who can be disturbed by a sleeping youngster, no matter what the age?

PrairieMom replied:
Oh BOSTON! well that explains it. there are no naughty children there.

I have seen children do far worse things in a restraunt and the parents never batted an eyelash.

Calimama replied:
No kidding. I'd rather Bella sleep then scream.