Is this awful?

Josie83 wrote: Alright, I am expecting honest answers here you lot! Cassie is three in a couple of weeks time, and I'm not sure what we are going to do. jason and I really don't have very much money at the minute, and we realy can't aford to do anything big for her. Do you think its terrible not to have a party for her? Her birthday is on a Friday and we were thinking of just having a few family members round to our house on the Friday afternoon/evening, then doing something just the three of us on Saturday. I know that its usually expected to have a big party and things, but I think Cassie would be happy if it was just her uncles and aunties and grandparents. Please tel me that it is okay to do this and I am not scarring her for life if she doesn't get a huge party?! xx

gr33n3y3z replied: I've always done that for my children
Just close family and a few friends
I would make what ever they wanted for dinner and had cake we all had a blast.
So dont feel bad and why should you feel bad?

texasp3 replied: We never, EVER had big parties for our birthdays - they were always family events and we loved them. We always got to pick what our birthday dinner was going to be - Mom would and could cook anything. We never had a ton of people, or decorations or presents, but we had a lot of love and a lot of tradition. Not only would I say we weren't "scarred" by lack of big parties, I would say quite the opposite is true.

Besides - how much do YOU remember from when you were turning three?

Also - if you do something you can't afford and don't really want to be doing - don't you suspect that you're going to feel negative about the day - and I'm betting that clever little girl of yours is not going to miss the fact that her Mommy isn't happy. Better to plan something that will allow you to relax and be full of nothing but love for her on her special day.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I didn't start having big Birthday Parties for the kids until they started school. I think what you have planed would be so special for her. You could get her to help you make her birthday cake. Emily loved to help me bake at that age!

mammag replied: I never had big parties for mine when they were little either. Since it's only family and close friends they aren't going to care about all the frills anyway. I think we mostly do that stuff so that we feel like we are good parents. Just blow up some balloons that she can hit around and she won't know the difference. I also saved money by making the cake myself and just buying some little toys to decorate it with. They taste so much better than what you buy.

Now this is just my opinion, mind you, but who really enjoys taking their kids to little kid parties much anyway. The only people who really enjoy those are family members because they love the child. I've talked to plenty of people who would rather not get invited to little kid parties because they aren't close to the kid yet feel like they have to get a present.

This may sound horrible, but to be honest, I wish the mom of one of the kids I watched wouldn't invite me to Emma's party. I love the girl but I'd rather just do my own thing for her because I don't know any of her family, I feel pressured to get a better gift (which I can't always afford), and it is just awkward all around.

I think that you are doing the right thing.

MomToMany replied: I think that sounds wonderful! That's the way birthday parties are meant to be! Sometimes they can get so out of hand, and then it becomes a requirement, because it seems like you have to do it bigger and better every year (at least that's what it seems like with some people).

Our parties for our kids have always been small. Just us, my mom (sometimes my sister too), and a friend & her little girl. That's it. You guys will remember it , but she won't. She will think its a blast no matter what you do!

atlantamomof2 replied: That's what we've done with Maggie too. It's always been just my parents and my sisters and us. We have a cake and pizza and she has a great time! Don't feel bad at all. When she turned 2 we couldn't even afford presents so all she got was a few things from my family. She didn't know the difference. I hated that we couldn't buy her anything but as far as scarring goes-she wasn't!!

You'll be doing the right thing for sure!

Boys r us replied: Josie!!!! It is FINE to have a family get together for her party!!! I mean at 3..really..who else WOULD you invite?

Don't feel bad at all!!! Ask Cassie what she wants for dinner on her birthday..cook it and have cake for her to share with her most treasured people in her life..her uncles and aunties and grandparents!

Josie83 replied: Okay thanks very much everone, I am now feeling slightly stupid for my post! jason and I sometimes feel so guilty that we don't have very much money, as the other children that we know have big blow-out parties with masses of presents. I know what you lot have said is right, though, she wo't really remember it and will be happier with all of us around. I don't think she's really geting many presents from us but she's pretty happy with what she anyway. Jason and I were talking and I think we're just going to invite my brothers and sisters, my sister's three girls, his three brothers, both sets of parents and my best friend and her little girl who is the same age as Cassie. So really it will be a bit of a full house! Thanks so much for all your help and advice, I really appreciate it. Sorry for sounding like a bit of fruitcake! xx

atlantamomof2 replied:
Yeah, and I bet none of us here want those kind of chidren, either! Talk about raising an over-indulged child.

I know a few people like that. One woman I know had a sleepover for her daughter's 4th birthday party with about 6-7 friends. Another friend of mine rented a moonwalk for her TWO YEAR OLD daughter's party. They're starting too early to me. But that just my humble opinion.

Alice replied: Make some newspaper hats, blow up balloons and use toilet paper as streamers. Make birthday cake or cupcakes from a mix and let her help decorate. If you really want to blow the bank, get her a party tablecloth and/or party plates. She'll think you spent a million dollars.

You can print up coloring pages from the internet-- Dora or Disney or Blues Clues and make her a freebie coloring book. Take her to the local pet store to visit the pets, or make up a coupon promising a visit.

Kids that age are so great-- they focus on the genuine and don't understand all the fuss.

A&A'smommy replied: You and Jason are SUCH good parents you both work SO hard and yet still find time for each other for Cassie that is SO important and you are SO good at it... you really make it seem easy and I wish that I was more like you two!
About that party Cassie is going to have a WONDERFUL time with whatever you do she is SUCH a happy easy going child that I KNOW she will be thrilled with whatever you choose to do!
And the money thing we are RIGHT there with you and Jason we don't have very much money ALTHOUGH we do spend mass loads of money on stuff but that doesn't really mean that we have the money to do a HUGE party, I would have lOVED to have a really grand party for Alyssa but what we did (same thing ya'll are doing just family and a few close family friends) was MUCH better and I was SO busy I don't think I could have handled something like that anyway!!

Josie83 replied: Jess thanks so much for saying those things, it really means a lot . . . thanks so much! You lot are all rght I think I was just getting worried I wasbeing a bad mum lol. You're all right though she will be fine! xx