Is this issue worth the hassle?

Hillbilly Housewife wrote: Breakfast at daycare.

My work day starts at 7am. The daycare kids get here at that time. Generally, my children are finished their breakfast, except for Naomie, since sometimes she sleeps later... and then the time from 7am to 7:30 is spent playing freely before Zach leaves for school.

Then, at 7:30, the other kids play freely, but directed, since the daycare kids have NO imagination whatsoever. They play house, dragons, whatever. Until 8am, when the older daycare boy goes to school.

But, ever since I've started, I've been having to give the daycare kids breakfast. Which isn't really the issue... I'm not about to let a hungry child go hungry if I can feed him, ya know? The issue is, I'm not required to give them breakfast, I'm only required to give them 2 snacks and lunch, and I've told the mom that on days where, for some reason they're really rushed, or for some other reason the kids can't have breakfast at home, then yes, I will give them breakfast.

So for othe last 6 months, I've been giving the darn kids breakfast. I've even adjusted my schedule, so that MY kids have their breakfast at the same time, so that they eat AT 7am instead of being finished by 7am. So MY kids are all ticked off because they don't have time to play in the mornings before school, and the daycare kids are ticked off because they don't can't play before school.

MY kids usually finish their breakfast withint 10 to 15 minutes... but they take anywhere from 20 to 35 mintues when they eat at the same time as the daycare kids. I've mentionned to the mom on several occasions that the kids don't have time to play in the mornings because they take so much time to eat their breakfasts. Not to mention, that I don't feed my kids toast every morning, there's 7 days in the week, so generally their breakfasts are oatmeal, cream of wheat, cereal, pancakes, toast, eggs, and a choice. Usually pancakes and their choice are on the weekends. So the daycare kids aren't particularly happy about their breakfast choices... and since the daycare boy goes to school around 8 and not 7:30 like MY son... him and his brother are usually at the table, "eating", from 7am to 8am, and the younger one is quite often at the table longer than that. It's a PITA, bcause the kids have to all be upstairs where I can watch them, thus distracting the daycare kids from eating properly, else my husband is stuck watching OUR kids while I'm stuck staying around the daycare kids.

I mean yes, it's his kids so he should be watching htem, but he's also got to get ready for work etc... so it's a PITA all around, for everyone. Everyone except the daycare kids' parents.

So yeaterday, I wrote up our daily routine on a paper that I put in the kids' bag, including the fact that 7am - 7:30 is freeplay time with thekids before Zach goes to school, and 7:30 to 8am is creativce play time until the older boy goes to school.

This morning, the mom tells me that the boys were quite concerned, telling her that the boys told her last nigfht that they wren't allowed to have breakfast here anymore, and that her husband wanted her to call me to verify - but she said: "I told the boys that they must have misunderstood, because of COURSE they could have breakfast here". I was kinda floored that she'd have the audacity to tell ME that I would of course be giving them breakfast. And I hadn't even said anything.

What I'd told the boys, was that if they didn't eat properly, and if they didn't like what I gave them for breakfast, that they'd have to eat before coming.

So I kinda didn't know what to say, and the mom left. So once again, after my kids had finished their breakfast, I made breakfast for the two daycare kids, and gave it to them. So once again, they sat at the brakfast table, with me, until 8am when it was time for the older daycare kid to go to school He wasn't finished, and the younger daycare kid had JUST finished.

Is this enough of an issue, you think, to discuss with my supervisor? I dont' want to seem like I can't stand up to their mom... but at the same time, I've never outright said "they need to have already had breakfast before coming", especially since in the beginning, I'm the one that told her "if something comes up and they haven't had breakfast, I'll give it to them". Even if, for the last 6 months, something has "come up" almost every day, since I've had to feed them almost every day.

amymom replied: I would carefully have the convo with Mom. Maybe on the phone when you are not rushed to get the kids out in the evening or in the morning when Mom is rushed to get to work. Those are bad times to have serious conversations. Say that originally this is the schedule you wish to follow, and breakfast at your home is extra for emergency purposes OR if she wants to set up breakfast at your house than we need to do X. And then make X whatever it will be.... the kids come early, she brings their breakfast, they finish by 7:30 or whatever you can negotiate. I do not know how the 'supervisor' thing works, but I would generally talk to Mom first, and see if you can work it out. You could start the conversation with, I know this morning I didn't say much, but here is what I want you to know......

Ok I rambled, sorry. I hope I helped a little bit.

sparkys2boys replied: Rocky, IMO I don't think that you should have to feed them everyday. I mean is her time more important then yours in the morning. Yes, I agree I would never let them go without having breakfast but she is now plainly using you. Maybe try speaking to her one more time before you go to your supervisior. I would maybe say along the lines of.. i think we may have a misunderstanding happening here. I am more then willing on occasion to get the kids breakfast if they miss it at home, but when this happens it really does put a kink in our daily rountine at the dayhome. My children are up and have eaten by the time the other children get here and I cannot get everyone settled if I am having to make another breakfast every morning, I have to many children that I have to get either off to school or settled into an activity and I feel like I am being stretched to thin on the mornings when I have to feed the children breakfast after I have already moved on in our day. Do you think that we could settle this issue by having them fed on most days. Good luck with it!!

booey2 replied: As already suggested, I would talk to the mom again and if she still insists that you have to give them their breakfast and it is clearly not what you are supposed to be giving them, then I would speak to your supervsior. We just recently stopped having our daycare provider stop giving the boys their supper becuase it was just to much for her. Now they eat breakfast there and she is fine with that and Thomas still has lunch there, til next year when he is in school all day. She will give them a snack around 4-4:30 if they are hungry but not a full meal. (I am ) You have every right to your morning routine and the mom should really listen to you and not the boys. hope you can get it straightened out.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: I guess it really wouldn't be so much of an issue, if the kids would actually EAT their breakfast instead of playing with it and taking up to an hour about it.

cameragirl21 replied: idk, Rocky, i think you are being totally used by these moms AND IMO you're making it very easy for them to do so. not only are you giving their kids breakfast, you're also giving them variety and choices as if you were a restaurant. you're not required to give them breakfast, period. doesn't mean you should refuse and let them go hungry but if i were you i'd simplify the situation.
when i was a little kid, one summer i went to a day camp where you could come from breakfast or have breakfast at home and come later...breakfast was the same thing everyday--an english muffin with jelly and the only variety we ever got was the type of jelly--grape vs strawberry. no one complained ever because we learned early on that this was breakfast and we weren't expecting anything else.
if i were you, i'd feed my kids first whatever you planned on feeding them and then for the others, offer up english muffins and jelly, it's filling enough for a kid and shouldn't take very long to eat so if they want to play, they can eat and play and it's fast and easy for you to make.
if the kids complain that there's no variety THEN you tell their mother that you are not required to give them breakfast but since they've been coming to your place without eating you decided to give them something and english muffins and jelly is the breakfast at your daycare and that if the kids are bored with it then maybe the mother can take the time to feed them whatever HER children want before dropping them off at your place.
and if i were you, i'd stick to my guns on this one, she is totally using you to do what she doesn't want to do and by telling you of course they can have breakfast at your house, she is trying to intimidate/guilt you into doing it. that's not right IMO.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
I'm not giving them a choice.

Mondays we have toast, tuesdays we have cereal, wednesdays we have eggsl, thursdays we have Cream of Wheat, fridays we have oatmeal, and on the weekends we have pancakes and a choice (for my kids) of what they want to eat.

I do not give the daycare kids a choice in the matter, and on several occasions, I've told them that if they don't like what I give them, that they need ot have breakfast before coming.

The idea of giving them only one food for breakfast is good, but I'm certainly not going to "give in" to these brats, showing MY kids that yes, they can win if they whine enough.

cameragirl21 replied: i personally would simplify things and give them the same thing each day, like english muffins and tell your kids that they can either eat first (whatever you give them) or they can wait and eat english muffins with the others...serving something different each day costs you time and money.

redplaydoh replied: I would start by asking the mother why the kids do not eat breakfast at home. I'd also limit their time at the table, after 20 minutes breakfast is over, table is cleared.... they'll soon stop goofing off at the table and eat.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
You'd think so, wouldn't you... not these kids.

mummy2girls replied: I would talkt o the mom and just tell her how much of a hassel( or use a better word) it is to feed the kids breakfast. Thats you are only required to serve snacks and lunch. Maby the parents can give the child food to bring to yoru house to eat... talkt o your consultant as well and see what they suggest as well.

Me i serve breakfast but everyone is here at the same time and the the 5 year old and jenna leave after lunch to school so its not a hasself or me...

Cece00 replied:
Then they'll just be hungry. Tough for them.

Personally, yes, I would complain to my supervisior, and I'd start charging the mom more money every month, to cover the cost of breakfast. The kids are eating up more of your food (or wasting it, as the case may be) and its costing YOU money since its a regular thing.

You should not let these kids or this mom walk all over you.

holley79 replied: The rules of my dayhome are food is NOT provided. Only a morning and afternoon snack. Food is provided by the parents. My CCP had a mom who had her kids home with her all day and would drop them off in the afternoon and expect her to feed them. So she wrote up a nice memo stating what her rules were and they were to be enforced. If you are only required to provide two snack and lunch I would put it very nicely in writing. Give it to her and have her sign that she agrees to the conditions.

My CCP makes an acception for me, even though I sign the same things as the other parents. Annika doesn't eat that much. Not to mention I bring over a lot of things for Annika and to be shared.

~Roo'sMama~ replied:
That's what I would do too, and then remind the mom that you originally said that they could eat breakfast there if something came up once in awhile, not that you would feed them breakfast every day. If she wants them to keep eating b-fast there every day (and if you agree... which I don't think I would since you're not required to and they're being a pain about it) then I'd tell her that you'll need to adjust the cost to cover it. There's no way she should be taking advantage of you like that!

Boo&BugsMom replied: Rocky, if it's not required, then you do what you want. Afterall, this is YOUR daycare business. You should be able to do what you feel is necessary. We have plenty of providers and daycares who do the 2 snack and lunch route. Snacks are way cheaper than breakfast items so at least if they don't eat it, it's not a huge expense coming from your end. I would type up a policy about what you will serve from now on and what time and then give the parents a date when the new policy will start and stick to it! If you don't want food from home being brought in as well, tell them they need to eat breakfast at home. If you don't mind, then tell mom she has to provide the breakfast for you. Remember, it's your dayhome, they do not dictate policy, you do!

Also, get a timer and tell them how long they have. Give them a 5 mintue warning, then a 1 minute warning. Tell them when the timer goes off, time is up and your plate will get put in the sink/garbage no matter how much you have left. I started doing that (minus the timer though) and you'd be amazed how little they fool around now.

grapfruit replied: ITA that you're being taken advantage of. Maybe charge the mom's more if they're expecting you to feed them everyday. They'll probably start feeding their own kids...

Our Lil' Family replied:
If they aren't done after 20 minutes then they aren't hungry enough!