Is this ridiculous? - or is it just me?

MoonMama wrote: I just read an email from my SIL who is having a little girl due in Jan. She wrote me this email and asked me to write a letter to her doctor and insurance company saying how I've known her for years and how tiny she is (I am more tiny then this women might I add) and all this stuff.
Basically she is terrified of labor and what it will do to her body, she wants her doctor to schedule a C-Section. To which her doctor replied A. your insurance wont cover that unless it is medically needed and B. that is unreasonable and not necessary.
Okay am I the only one who has to laugh about this one? Now I am all for a C-Section when needed but I don't see this as a need in any way or form in this case. What is she thinking asking me to write a letter. Sorry but I just don't understand this one.

ETA: I should also mention this is the women that talked about how great pregnancy and child birth would be not too long ago. And the same women who told me "real women have natural child birth" and that if I have used any drugs what so ever how horrible I was. "women have been having children naturally for years".

amymom replied: uh ok........ what does her dh think of this?

kit_kats_mom replied: Sounds like she is either experiencing normal pre birth jitters or she has been brainwashed by the "too posh to push" crowd.

Instead of a letter for her dr's I'd write a report for her and include information about the fact that C sections are actually surgery. They take longer to heal, leave a scar, are more painful etc. I never considered a C but I did read something about it messing up your bowels and that it can make you really gassy and constipated for awhile afterwards. For some reason, that little gem of info sealed the deal for me. I'd avoid them at all costs!

Tell her to read the info and then if she still wants the letter you will listen to her educated argument and then maybe you will do it.

MoonMama replied:
Thank you my thoughts exactly. Personally my biggest childbirth fear is having to have a C-Section.

Anne Marie, I don't think her DH is actually aloud to have opinions to be honest.

hawkshoe replied:
Yep that is exactly what I would do. She must be nuts. I think some probably has to do with stuff that has been on tv and in print lately about moms opting for c sections (like that one female Dr., Dr. Berman). They are afraid of stretching themselves out and having urinary problems later or something like that. Just crazy.

cameragirl21 replied: I just wanted to say kudos to her doctor for his response. I hear horror stories all the time about doctors pushing C sections onto women because a. the doctors get more money for this procedure than what they make from vaginal deliveries and b. it's less work for them, not to mention, it's much faster as opposed to them waiting around for the woman to dilate.
The thing is a C section is major surgery, everyone I know who had one wishes she had delivered naturally and the first week afteward is soooo painful, and on top of being in pain, you have to take care of a newborn baby.
The way I see it, and this may seem harsh, but IMO if you're not brave enough to get thru labor then you're not brave enough to be a mommy.
I once met this woman who had 8 kids and they were all grown, she was by then a grandmother. I told her she must be very brave and strong to have gone thru labor 8 times because in her day there were no epidurals or drugs of any kind to lessen the pain.
She just kind of looked at me and said, "the labor was the easy part...."

punkeemunkee'smom replied: Emergency C-section mommy here! Not something I was hoping to do that is for sure! I do thank God and the Dr.s that it is available because Tay and I would not be here if not But as said before it is MAJOR surgery that carries some very serious risks during and after! Ally if you want I can PM you the details of mine and you can give it to your SIL to show her the non-discovery channel version!

C&K*s Mommie replied: My curiosity would kill me, and be it a rude question to ask or not, I would inquire as to the reason why she suddenly had a change in her attitude.

MoonMama replied:
Bless your heart Abbie. Thank goodness for your doctor. I just wish she would understand the risks and healing time etc..


Nicole (I hope I have your name right ) her reply, "labor hurts".....DUH!!!!! Didn't you know this before hand lady? But the reward far out weighs that! And healing from surgery is going to be a lot worse. Oh and by the way she still thiks I...ME...I should have a 100% natural childbirth. She has got some nerve!

kit_kats_mom replied: something to add to counter her "it hurts" response.
-There are epidurals for pain.
-a vaginal tear is not plesant but at least it seems minor to me compared to slicing open your belly
-finally, it is my understanding that even with a c, you still have to labor to expell the afterbirth. Correct me if I'm wrong but I swear another mom told me that.

C&K*s Mommie replied: Yes, you did get my name right.

Labor pain is dependent on the person. Not to say that any one is weaker than the next, because we all know that is not true. It just depends on your threshold for pain, that is all. Mine is higher, but for me, I did not have pain (or at least that I can recall)- the hardest part was the unnatural pushing that you have to do. That and having oxygen masks (claustrophobic), and having everyone yelling commands at me was the toughest.

Indeed the reward outweighs any temporary pain you may have. But like it was mentioned before, C's are major surgery. No way around that. I hope she gets all the facts before closing the door completely on natural, or medicated V births.

mckayleesmom replied: Hmm....Well I have had 2 c-sections....Do you want me to send her a picture of my stomach?.....because it is far from pretty


I think she should have thought about some of these things before she got pregnant.

mckayleesmom replied:
You don't have to labor to expell the afterbirth......not in my 2 cases anyways. But you do bleed alot and pass some tissue and clots.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: I don't think you labor for the after-birth but i was numb for a little while so I don't know I have heard that before too but did not care at that point enough to ask Another thing you can tell her is the risk of blood loss is very real and dangerous....I am dealing with anemia(I had surgery at 8 months because I broke my leg and then the C with which I lost ALOT of blood) that has been on going and SEVERE (IV iron severe) since I had Tay. The doctors think it was started by those 2 episodes of blood loss and I have not ever been able to recover the correct blood volume.I have a hernia (TMI sorry ) on the incision of my Csection that is starting to hurt when I move wrong but they can't repair it because of the anemia Anyway like I said SO THANKFUL that they can do this procedure BUT it is not something to be taken lightly......



Don't even get me started on the muscle tone you loose! My doc even calls it a C-belt. Thankfully I have a husband who thinks that little pooch and the strech marks are still sexy

mom2my2cuties replied: I had emergency abdominal surgery about a year ago now...And while it was a c-section - and I learned stomachs aren't made to be cut upon.

The problems that have come from my surgery, sometimes I think that just living with the problem (if it wouldn't have killed me) would have been easier.

luvbug00 replied: personaly I'd rather have a thousand naturl or epi births befoe a C. I'm pertified of any surgery! Plus if it's not really needed then why do it?

mckayleesmom replied:
Im not saying some aren't good looking. When I had Mckaylee it was great...I had a flatter tummy after then when I went in, they took there time to do it nicely because I was knocked out anyways. . With Russell....total disaster. Both c-sections the Epideral didn't work. With Mckaylee they knocked me completely out and with Russell only partially. When they started stitching I told them I could feel it....so they gave me more drugs and hurried.....So they just left all the extra fat that had grown as the baby grew.....Its awful. If my husband wasn't snipped...I would get pregnant again so they could fix it...

CantWait replied:
Or better yet, have her write up the letter and you sign it.

luvmykids replied: OK, this lady doesn't believe in drugs to assist childbirth, does she not want anesthesia for her C section? Granted they are different drugs used but she sounds a little to me

Boo&BugsMom replied: If I can push an almost 10 pound baby out of my 125 pound frame, so can she!

My2Beauties replied: I'm sorry but what a wuss.... Oh I'm so mean! Bad Bad me shame on me! But seriously, I would be more scared to have a c-section than a v-birth. A C-section is major major surgery and should only be done in the event of an emergency! I would honestly think that the recovery from a c-section is 10x worse than that of a v-birth which is why docs give 8 weeks for C's and only 6 for V's!

ashtonsmama replied:

redchief replied: An unreasonable request normally has an equally unreasonable motive. Your SIL seems to have an urealistic view of the pain and discomfort involved in the human labor and delivery process. It would appear that she is using her physical size to rationalize her irrational view. Maybe it would be better to offer to accompany her to her next OB appointment and bring up the subject of her ability to deliver a baby, and the fears she has regarding the process. At that point her OB can give her a little anatomy lesson and tell her that they are normally able to tell how large a child she would be able to deliver vaginally. At this point her fear of the pain and duration of labor may be addressed, along with what she can do to try and control those things.

kellydel replied: I have had 2 medically necessary C's (breech babies due to abnormally shaped uterus-sorry if TMI ) and would highly recommend V birth over C birth. Both times my recovery was really long and painful- you wouldn't believe just how many simple movements use your abs, but you find out! Also they give you pain meds which you have to use to function but tend to make baby sleepy as some passes into your milk. Also after my 2nd, I bloated up so bad I looked 9 months pg still and I couldn't pee and they had to put me BACk on the IV and kept me in the hospital an extra day. Plus I will probably never sleep comfortably on my stomach again because it just feels strange on my insides and there is still numbness around my scar that might never go away! God made our bodies to deliver babies vaginally and to recover from it, not to have our bodies cut into and although I'm grateful that C's exist so that I could have my sons and still be around to raise them, I would definitely not have the surgery voluntarily!
I hope my story helps convince your SIL to try a V birth!

MoonMama replied:
I couldn't have said it better myself.

Thanks everyone! I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this whole thing is ridiculous. I was sitting here reading this all to her to give her an idea of what she's asking/thinking. She is so ticked, and apparently in her eyes know one here knows what they are talking about. Oh well I tried right?

mom2my2cuties replied: What is the old saying - You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. ????

I wouldn't help her do this personally. I would tell her she has to find someone else to lie for her.

luvmykids replied:
Of course not, we've all had how many more babies than her?

Heather77 replied: I don't have a problem with a woman requesting a c-section for her own convenience (to each his own IMO), but her requesting a letter from you is wierd. It cracks me up that she is more scared of labor, than major abdominal surgery! Huh? She's not even thinking of AFTER the baby comes and how hard it is recovering from major surgery while caring for a newborn.
I've had 3 c-sections, and it's no walk in the park that first week!

MoonMama replied:
Don't I know it.

msoulz replied:
Exactly, and most of us want to avoid any major surgeries we can if possible. I believe mother nature knows best in this case.