Is this rude of me? - question re: a friend

mysweetpeasWil&Wes wrote: I have a good friend that I've known since elementary school that lives here in town with us. She helped us get settled when we moved here, but I RARELY see her because she is the biggest flake in the world. She NEVER returns calls or emails and I'm just getting tired of it. She calls DH all the time for work favors (they are in similiar industries), but never returns a favor...never even returns his calls as a matter of fact! Mutual friends of our's just say that she is just unorganized and overbooks all the time, but I don't care...not an excuse to me! Anyhow, I've learned to just let it go and talk to her when I can, because I care for her, but I recently invited her out for a BBQ for Memorial Day and she literally just NOW got back to me. Her excuse is always "OMG, I just got your email today". Or that her phone doesn't work. Whatever.

So in her email, she tells me she's sorry she missed my BBQ invite, but that she is now "at my mercy" when it comes to the baby. She said she would come over in a heartbeat to help out with Wil and to just let her know what I need...YEAH RIGHT! How can I trust someone who won't ever return a call to be here when I go into labor?? I don't think so. So instead of responding and saying "no problem about the BBQ", like I always do, I just ignored her email. But I feel really bad! And I know I shouldn't, because she OBVIOUSLY never feels bad not getting back to me, right?

I'm not trying to get back at her, but I'm just sick of trying, kwim? Should I at least respond and say "thanks for wanting to help, but we're covered"? Or just let it go? I hate being rude, even if people are rude to me...

Sorry that was long...

CantWait replied: Well considering that you haven't yet answered, it wasn't rude. I would just write a short e-mail back to so you're the nice guy and thank her, but like you said, let her know you're covered. Sorry she's being a butt head, it sucks when you're seemingly the only one making an effort into a relationship.

luvbug00 replied: in fantacy land you'd say...."you know i'm pregnant??"

in the real " thanks i have help lined up already".

C&K*s Mommie replied: Get back to her a few months down the line, and in passing let her know that you just got her e-mail, and you had helped lined up already.

kimberley replied:
that made me LOL

i have a few friends like this also and while i don't rush to respond to their calls or emails, i am like you and feel guilty about it so i send a short note eventually. the world would be a nicer place without people like this. nothing is built on good intentions

Brias3 replied: I wouldn't rush to respond certainly but maybe just so you have the one up in your own mind, a short- thanks but we're covered...talk soon! would be appropriate.

PrairieMom replied: I would just say, Thanks for the offer, I will deffinately let you know if I get into a pinch, and then just not happen to need her.

Maddie&EthansMom replied:

That's exactly what I was going to say!

kit_kats_mom replied: thats what I would do too. Sometimes a taste of the medicine that they've been doling out is the only cure

Our Lil' Family replied: I do the same thing as you, I say I'm not responding and then a day or so later it gets the best of me and I end up being the good guy again!

I certainly wouldn't email her back this week.....wait a while, shoot maybe even after the baby gets here, and tell her you've got everything you need.

redchief replied: I have a cousin like that. Ick.

lisar replied: I dont think it was rude not to e-mail her back. I do know what you mean though. Dont really have any advice though i'm sorry.

Ashlynn's Mommy replied: I would just forget about her! She sounds like a user. She is not a real friend. But if you feel rude ignoring her then just tell her that your covered, as far as the babys concerned. I wouldn't talk to her anymore.