Is this wrong

lisar wrote: Our new neighbors are moving in this weekend. I am kinda sorry to see the old ones go though they are used to us and our ways and our loudness (4-wheelers)
However Saturday we are having a (little) party. just our close friends 22 total.
well anyways we are gona cook out (ribs) and ride the 4-wheelers and we have some fireworks were gona set off that night (big ones, not little ones.) And we just so happen to plan this on the weekend they are moving in on purpose. DH says he wants to break them in right.

I would like to actually meet them first KWIM? Let them know me before I go pi$$ing them off like that. What are yalls thoughts on this. Heck if they are outside we plan on inviting them over. They have a 6 year old daughter and Lexi is 7 so perfect ages for friends and living in the woods like that she dont have any friends.

cameragirl21 replied: I like your idea of inviting them over. Have the party you want and knock on their door if you don't see them and say that you're having one of your typical parties and that you'd love it if they'd come and bring their daughter who can play with yours.
That way you are being polite and hospitable and yet also letting them know what to expect from you.

lisar replied:
Yea the 4-wheelers on Fridays, and Saturday nights.

All during the week we are really good neighbors. I might ride the 4-wheeler to go and check the mail or take the trash down. But not loud and not fast. But on the weekends it can go till 2am. But after midnight we keep it in the back yard only out of respect. But during the day its ALL game. I just dont wanna come off rude the first day. KWIM

grandma replied: Is this a going away party for the old neighbors that are moving?
I'd invite the new ppl, it's the nice thing to do. Four wheeler's in the country, should be no shock to the new neighbors.

lisar replied:
You would think so however this is what I know about them so far that the old neighbor has told me

1. She is from the Philippines
2. She actually asked the old neighbors for directions to the closest mall (hour away)
3. She didnt wanna know where walmart was
4. They are moving here from a subdivision from North Carolina
5. They lost their 2 year old son 2 months ago to leukemia
6. her DH is moving them here to get her away from her family
7. He is an engineer

Thats all I know. I am hoping that are much better people than the impression that I got from what I have heard. However, the old neighbors said they told them that we are an "outside" family. They said they were gona tell anyone cause they didnt want anyone making trouble for us. LOL

CantWait replied:
Well said. I also like the idea of inviting them over even if you don't see them out.

grandma replied: That is really sad about their baby. These ppl are probably still grieving the loss, so they might not even be themselves right now.
Some ppl just don't like Walmart. I know my husband doesn't (I do).
Really you can't judge these ppl until YOU get to know them. There's really no need to worry about it yet, just take it as it comes.

lisar replied:
Thanks. And yes I do feel bad about their baby. I wouldnt wish that on my worst enemy.

grandma replied:
Now you'll have to report back on Monday and let us know how it went and if they came over. (If the police came out..lol)
I'll bet the new little neighbor will become good friends with Lexi and Raygen

lisar replied:
I am hoping Lexi and their daughter will be friends. I really am. Lexi is so excited about having a little girl move in next door.

And no the police wont be there. I am related to the sheriff so thats always a bad idea to have them called out. They side with me no matter what. LOL

mammag replied:
I'm confused, are these the things that gave you a bad impression of them?

IMO, it would be better to let them see that you are good people before you go all out with a loud party the first night.

How close are they? If they are really close, I don't think it's alright to ever ride the 4-wheelers until 2am, even on weekends. If they are far enough that it wouldn't keep the little girl awake then having the party shouldn't be a problem either.

If you are wanting their daughter to be friends with yours, I would try to let them get to know you first. But since it's already planned, I would definitely invite them over and maybe apologize in advance for the noise.

lisar replied:
When I say keep them in the back after a certain time its out of respect for them and my kids. They are ALL asleep. Their house sits up by the road mine doesnt. My garages are in the back which is where they continue to ride and in the woods back there. As long as they are in the back no one can hear them. Even me in the house. We cant hear them so I know the neighbors cant hear them, cause I am alot closer to them. KWIM? And for the "party" I am not talking about some teenage party. I am talking about the fire barrell lit and the radio on. (not loud to where anyone else can hear it)

I think your thinking of a big teenager party or something. It isnt like that.

mammag replied: In that case, then I don't think there should be any problem. You may also want to invite the husband to come join in the 4-wheelin if he is ever interested.

Calimama replied: I'd invite them over.

I don't see anything wrong from the "list" about them. I don't understand why you have a bad impression of them.

Danalana replied: Sounds fun to me, but I would definitely tell them about it first, and invite them. Especially with the big fireworks involved...that might scare them, since they are just moving in. But it doesn't sound like it would be too loud or anything (except the fireworks, which I'm sure don't go and on, anyway)...I hope it works out well!

lisar replied:
city folks moving to the woods. It just scares me. Thats all.

Calimama replied:
Oh.

I getcha. We don't even go camping yet DH wants to buy a ranch in the middle of nowhere. Ha. No.

lisar replied:
Okay so just picture yourself moving out to the middle NOWHERE land. LOL thats what I am worried about. LOL. Not in a bad way towards you.

Calimama replied:
It's okay, I can admit it. I wouldn't survive in the wilderness. So I'm not taking any chances and moving right smack in the middle of it.

jcc64 replied: Just as you're hoping for the best from them, I'm sure they're feeling the same way. No offense, Lisa, but I sort of detected an undertone of resentment or prejudgment based on your "list." I mean, what does not liking Walmart or being Philipino have to do with any one's character? I also think "breaking them in good" by having a loud party is not necessarily the best way to begin a friendship- it's antagonistic, imo.
If you're truly interested in a good relationship with your neighbors, I'd drop the judgments or preconceptions about what "city folk" are like, and try to approach them with an open mind and a generous spirit, particularly in light of the fact that they are undoubtedly in the midst of the worst moment in their lives following the death of their child.
I'm all for parties- dh is in a band, and when we moved into our house 15 yrs ago, we had a very LOUD party with the band playing on the deck until 4am, sort of "announcing" our arrival. Looking back on it, I feel like it was a pretty obnoxious thing to do and I regret it.
I'd go over, introduce myself, tell them about your 4 wheeler thing, and invite them over. And try to reserve judgment until after they've given you a legitimate reason to do so.

lisar replied:
I am not judging her on the fact that she is phillipno or anything. I was just stating that those are the ONLY things I know about them. Thats all.

And my parties arent loud. We do respect all of the neighbors on the street. One neighbor had a party with a band. He went door to door asking for everyones permission. And then invited us all for the free beer. I didnt go but dh made an apperance to be nice. The band was there till like 3am. Not liking walmart is really a joke.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I agree.

In the city where we live, if something like that was going on I would be on the phone with the cops. In fact, I have had to call 3 times this year already because we have neighbors who just don't care about the others in our neighborhood. Not saying you don't Lisa...I think you live in the country more where things like that are more expected or common. Plus, living on a lot more land you probably can't hear as much as you can in the city where we live. My philosophy is, if a neighbor can hear something in their house that is bothersome, whether it be music, 4-wheelers, etc....then it is too loud and should be toned down. Personally, if I am trying to enjoy a peaceful night, or day, inside my home...I shouldn't be bothered by loud music and such and should be able to enjoy my own home without all the loud noises. If I can't hear it all inside my home, then I don't care.

Even though you want them to get use to the way you are, you also need to be respectful to your neighbors and understand their needs as well. Sometimes that means changing/altering some of the things we do and some of our lifestyle habits. If someone can hear loud 4-wheelers inside their house at night, they shouldn't be subject to listen to it in their own home.

And not to sound rude...but what the heck is with people setting off fireworks this late in the summer???? Our neighbors across the street think it's ok to set them off any time of year at 11:30 at night. Um...no...not when you live near me! One year it woke Tanner up and he started screaming he was so scared because they were do loud! Personally, I would never want to be responsible for doing that to someone elses child. It really peeved me off.

I would invite them over, and tell them if things get too loud to let you know! That way if things are too loud, they might feel comfortable telling you. Personally, one of my biggest pet peeves is people being obnoxiously loud after the kids go to bed. Again, we live in the city though, we can almost hand our neighbor a cup of coffee through our windows. Where Troy grew up you could basically be as loud as you want and the neighbors wouldn't be able to hear you. Where we live now though, I swear you could hear a pin drop sometimes.

From what I know about where you live Lisa, I don't think you'll have an issue. But, I would warn them, invite them, and tell them to let you know if you get loud just in case, out of respect. That way you seem genuine and concerned about them.

lisar replied:
The loud 4-wheeler and the dirt bike dont get rode after dark. Why because they are really loud.
As for riding them during the day if you dont like the noise at 2 in the afternoon then get a set of ear plugs, cause people buy land for only a few reasons. Horses, Farms, 4-wheelers, space etc. To do what we want on it. I have had it out with only 1 person on that street in the year and half I have been there. He got all pi$$y up in my face and I was sitting on a 4-wheeler at the time. I got off of it and showed him that I wasnt scared of him. I told him if I was bothering him then he needed to ask me nicely not come out yelling and screaming at me when I have a 5 year old on with me. He then calmed down and asked me nicely and I said it was no problem that I would put the loud one up for the day. I didnt know his 90 year old mother was visiting or I wouldnt have ever cranked up the loud one.

And for the other people on the road, the one guy about 3 doors down has a race car. Well guess what he does half the night. Thats right its a dirt track one and on the back of his land he has this little round-n-round dirt track that he will test his car on. I never say a word and its louder than my 4-wheelers.

As for the fireworks, its normal around here. We have shops that sell them here all year. The good ones. Phantom Fireworks. We do it for the kids. And before we go setting off the mortors I will let the neighbors know not to freak out. And they better get used to it though cause the guy down the street is always down there shooting his guns into a dirt hill. And his guns are LOUD.

I do respect my neighbors so please dont think that. We live in the woods alot of this is expected here.

TheOaf66 replied: any places for sale next to ya Lisa...makes me homesick

lisar replied:
Yea the neighbor on the right hand side of me is fixing to sell. He has 3.85 acres. He is really old (we mow his grass cause he just physically cant do it anymore) He is gona sell it and then go to a home. He has no family.

However your wife already said that she would call the cops on me. So I am not telling you where its at.

mammag replied:
I'm assuming it is dark at 2am. I would really stick to not riding late in the evening hours even on weekends if they are really loud as you said.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
No I wouldn't call the cops just because I "hear" your noise. I can handle noise, it's just when it's disruptive noise that doesn't allow me to enjoy my home and my activities, I find it disrespectful. Example: some people who live 2 houses down from us had their rap music blaring not long ago. Inside my living room I could hear "f*** this, f that" swearing from the music. My kids shouldn't have to listen to that, esp if it's heard inside our own house. And, if I have to turn my tv or my own things up really loud to hear it, then that means it's too loud. KWIM? Noise is expected in any neighborhood, but disrespectful noise is different to me. And no, I didn't mean to imply that I didn't think you were respectful of them. Only pointing out the difference between living in the city and living in the country.

We only live on 1/3 of an acre...not even actually, so it's much different here. When you live in the city people need to be more conscious of the neighbors around them because the houses are so close. Troy's parents live on 110 acres. WAY different. If we lived on 3-4 acres even, I'm sure it'd be hard to hear 4-wheelers, so I don't think I'd have to call you in. I LOVE 4-wheelers. I love all that kind of stuff. I just don't want the noise to be so disruptive that I can't enjoy my own activities in my own home. It goes both ways, KWIM?

lisar replied:
I know what you mean. I was just kidding with that. I knew what you meant.

cameragirl21 replied: Idk, I guess the way I see it, if you move out to the sticks, you can make as much noise as you want and so can your neighbors...everyone has a lot of land and four wheelers are a common activity.
In the part of Miami I live in, land is very expensive so no one really has any to speak of and I can practically hear my neighbor fart. So in as much as I too don't care for noise, I'm used to it and it would take a lot for me to call the cops.
My one neighbor sits outside and plays his guitar and sings every night. He's not bad but should stick to his day job. My previous neighbor used to have soirees where they played piano music outside, loud enough to entertain the neighborhood.
I once had a neighbor who had a santeria type ritual outside with chanting and all sorts of what sounded like madness and tambourines and that wigged me out a bit but even that wasn't a big deal.
If I moved out to the sticks, I'd expect to be able to host rock concerts in my yard without complaints.

grandma replied: There is a difference between city living and country living. And what they have in common is that nosie happens
Currently we live in the city, we ride Harley's that are very loud, but we don't consult with our neighbor before we go riding, even though their kitchen is right next to our garage. And yes, sometimes we come home really late. Just as the guy down the street has a race car (street) and he fires it up every couple days without asking anyone.
Fireworks in the summer is a normal occurance in the country,but not so much in the city. I guess it depends on what city you live in. In some you would here alot of gunfire (automatic; machine guns), fire engines and police sirens (Detroit).
I know Lisa ask for advice, but I'm pretty sure Lisa is gonna keep living her life the way she has and I doubt that her husband is gonna abide by any suggestions as how to party....lol
Just sayin.....

lisar replied:


My hubby does what he wants no matter what I say. Unless I take the keys and he cant find them.

grandma replied: Yeah, I figured he wasn't the type of man that takes orders....

Boo&BugsMom replied: Around here people usually move to the country so they can get away from the noise and have more privacy, not to hear more of it. Goes to show you that not every area is the same I guess.