It makes perfect sense

mysweetpeasWil&Wes wrote: I get it now! Whenever I have plans to do something for myself or go out for a night with just the girls, DH somehow always plans something like golf or buys himself a little something. Now we're pretty tight on money these days, so there isn't much for extras, especially hitting balls on the back nine. But I suppose he feels what I get he gets too!! Anyone's SO do this too??? I suppose I get jealous when DH gets things like an Ipod from my in-laws for no reason, but it doesn't make me feel the right to go out and buy myself a new dress!



Am I wrong to think that he's being selfish? Now I feel that I can't spend much when I go out with the girls because I need to make sure there is enough for him to go golfing! And I had my Girls Night Out planned a longgggggggggg time ago, so it's not news to him. He knows exactly what he's doing!

DH is out to dinner right now for work...lucky him...does that give me the right to go to the mall? I don't think so.

luvbug00 replied: Ohh I feel your pain!!! That's soo Brad!! I really hate it buit if I were you I'd just hand him the youngin' and head out to the mall to buy the little one a new toy and you a little somthing. I don't feel good unless I buy somthing for the squirl too.

A&A'smommy replied: Yeah my dh does this too its SOO annoying!! He isn't as bad as he use to be which is good because that can put a HUGE strain a marriage.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Well I think it's also because I have spent a lot of money lately, but NOT on myself. I think DH thinks it's for me because I'm the one shopping and deciding when to buy. KWIM? I buy things for the house and I'm preparing for Wil's party, so it's stuff that I think we need vs. things he probably thinks we could do without. It's not unreasonable stuff...you know, t.p., zip locks, soap, maybe a cheap curtain rod for the curtains we've had for three years and are still not up! But I can just tell that booking a game of golf is his way of showing me that he doesn't think these things are necessary. And that my so called "spending" and going out with the girls makes him entitled to do what he wants.

Sorry I'm venting...DH and I work things out pretty well, so I'm not worried about our marriage. I think a marriage should be 50/50, but there are so many times that I unselfishly let DH do things because he deserves it and I don't believe that what he gets I should get too.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: I know what you mean.

I buy a lot of stuff that`s for ME to use, but it isn`t stuff that`s necessarily for me.

For instance, I buy a lot of crochet thread - I make little htings to sell and give away though. I`m making a tablecloth for my mother for Christmas - so far, I`ve spent 3$ for the crochet hook (size I needed that I didn`t already have), and 1.78$ x 7 for the 7 balls of the crochet thread I need.

Whoopie do. I spent about 15.50$, plus taxes, for my mother`s Christmas present. Something she wants, and something I put hours of labor into.

I also spent 24$ on 3 wooden trays, plus about 10$ on paints my kids will be using to paint the trays, and 5$ on a can of varnish once the trays are painted by the kids... again, Christmas gifts for the grandmothers from the kids.

I spend on average about 10$ a month on yarn or crafts - it keeps my hands busy when I`m home, and I make handy stuff with it that we don`t have to spend money on to have really nice things - like a really plain cheap towel to put in the bathroom, I put a crochet edging on it, makes it look more expensive.

I crocheted an edge for a couple cheap pillows - dressed them up quite a bit.

He doesn`t get that not only is it something that`s keeping me busy instead of doing nothing while at home - it`s useful things. Sure, it`s a hobby of mine - but it`s not like 10$ a month is really expensive... he spends about 40$ a month on eating out, on TOP of what we eat out regularly... so I figure he`s spending 4x as much as me - so he leaves me alone, I leave him alone.

Although when I actually NEED to buy something for myself - like becuse I`m so big now with this pg, a lot of clothes don`t fit me anymore, and I have to keep getting a few new pieces here and there (usually form a discount store) he feels that he needs to get a new computer game or something.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: So DH gets home from his four course dinner and I ask him when he plans to go golfing. He says on Friday, when you go out with the girls.....and I said, who's going to watch Wil then? "Can't we ask that woman to watch him??" WHAT!!! I get one night every month to go out on my own...ONE NIGHT...and he can't watch Wil?? So I told him how I felt and that I knew what he was upto....but he said "I have no idea what you're talking about". He told me that he doesn't diliberately plan golf trips because I'm going out...it's just coincidence. And that there isn't any competition in our relationship. I'm not sure if I believe him.............

Oh well. I may just have an extra drink when I go out!!

kimberley replied: i feel your pain. but just accept that we are the superior sex (lol relax boys) and loving a man is like loving a child... no matter how much they make you wanna strangle the daylights out of them, we still love em and make whatever sacrifices we need to for the sake of peace. if it gets too much, suddenly headaches appear, one after another, night after night... til he thinks he will spontaneously combust if your headache doesn't go away.. then the behavior stops for a little while . repeat when necessary.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
Actually, did you know that one of the best cures for a headache is

Clears sinuses wonderfully as well.....

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
Oh Kimberely...you so know how to put a smile on my face!! But where are the sacrifices from their end?? And yes, it stops for a little while, but the behavior starts alllllll over again. No lesson learned. There's no use complaining is there? I should just throw in the towel huh???

kimberley replied: they "sacrifice" in their own ways. most guys would love to do NOTHING all day. play x-box 24/7, drink with the boys all the time, go to "gentlemen's clubs" etc etc
and to most guys... the fact that they don't do these things day and night IS their sacrifice lol. most men will outgrow this eventually.. but not before most women have a head full of grey lol

3'smom replied: I thought I was all alone with this problem. It s*cks.

jacobsmama replied: I guess it is nice to know that my husband may be a normal man with his selfish self at times