It's happy or sad - depending on where you are

Danalana wrote: I love this board, but it's really hard when you're not pregnant. It probably shouldn't be like that, but I already struggle with "why not me?" And suddenly, I feel bitter/sad about baby stuff. I was walking by the baby section at wal-mart yesterday, and I didn't even wanna look at any of it. I usually gravitate toward it and can spend forever looking and even buying stuff. Successful pregnancy seems like this near-impossible feat to me. I'm not sure how anybody does it. I hope I don't sound really bitter because I'm glad for all of you who have kids and/or have them on the way. When I was little, I just knew I would have babies by now--I'll be 33 in April. Granted, I've only been married a little over a year and I waited til then. Some months couldnt be counted in the "trying" department, as I was out of town or it was just the wrong time. Wow, I'm totally rambling. I hope you don't think I'm whiney or anything...just sad. I want so much to be the mother I didn't have. I know I can be a good mother.

MyBabeMaddie replied:

amymom replied: I so know what you are going through. I was 33 when my son was born. I really understand. Please know that you are not alone. Soon, soon, soon.

If I was you, and knew what I know now, I would give up the temp taking, charting all that stressful stuff, DTD every few days (easier said than done I know) and just wait a few months. (I am telling you I have lots of faith in the month of May. A February baby is right on track for you.) JMO

Danalana replied: hehe, I already started temping when i started...not that i can't stop.
I sooo wanted a baby this year. I hate waiting to see if my period is going to come. The frustrating part is that i had symptoms of pregnancy that never happen to be normally. In fact, my period has pretty much stopped and my girls are still extremely sore. why is that?

MoonMama replied: Hang in there sweetie, believe me I know how hard this is. I went through the same thing and every month when it didn't happen it got harder and I got more upset. Feel free to PM me anytime if you need to talk or anything.

stella6979 replied:
I honestly think your mind and body can play tricks on you. When we were trying to conceive, I would miss my period and throw up constantly until I found out I wasn't, then it would start all over again.
I wish you the best of luck!

sparkys2boys replied: Sorry that you are going through a rough time right now.

C&K*s Mommie replied: One thing about this board is that it is not exclusive for parents- not everyone here is a parent and that is just fine. We are a welcoming group of people (men and women) and we carry on convos on many topics not just parenting.

I hope you find solace soon, I also hope you continue to stick around. Best of luck with ttc.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: I already have one of my own, but I too find this a difficult place somedays. I would love another one, but circumstances right now are not exactly as I want them. PC is and has been a great source of support for me. These guys had only known me a few months when my son had open heart surgery. The outpouring of love and support was overwhelming. I was so thankful to have a place to come and get virtual hugs. It'll happen. Take heart.

Calimama replied:
I agree. It will happen for you when it's supposed to. Keep your head up hun.

Danalana replied: Oh, I know yall are great people...that's why I love it.
I'll stick around...maybe I can find some more who are TTC

redplaydoh replied: I know some of what you're feeling but in a different way. I was told for 10+ years that I couldn't have kids and I hated seeing the baby departments and family and friends around me having kids. I was happy for them but it hurt in a place deep inside my heart.

Then I had my boys when I was 38 and 39 through IVF.

After I had them the reality of infertility slammed me hard again. Because I wanted more and I knew I couldn't have them, once again I hated seeing all the baby things and hated myself more because I had two special miracle boys and should've felt grateful enough for them, and I was... but it didn't seem fair that I didn't have that choice to decide when I was finished with having kids.

I really feel that it will happen for you. 33 is still young and you have time so don't let the stress get too much because I really believe that has a major role in conception.

Danalana replied: Yeah, it doesn't help my feelings toward myself. It makes me feel like a failure...
I'm glad you got your 2 boys, but I can understand being sad about not being able to have more.