I've had it! - need opinions

luvbug00 wrote:
Lars's ex kelly keeps texting lars at the most inconvient times. She does it on his brithday ( ok fine) and then last night ( when the pats lost because she knew he'd be upset. I've had it with that brat and so i'm sending her this letter. how should i finish it though??

Kelly,
Hi i'm Lars's girlfriend Nadia. I know you guys were great friends in days gone by. I'm very glad for that. But we have alot going on in our lives right now. He is a wonderful "stepdad" to my daughter and we are trying to focas on our family. I would like to say thanks for being such a good friend to him then but I am taking care of him now, so you don't have to worry about how crappy it was for him that the pat's lost or little things like that. He's in good hands.

My3LilMonkeys replied: Just my opinion, but if Lars doesn't want her texting him he should tell her so himself or block her number.

luvbug00 replied: HOW DO YOU BLOCK A NUMBER??

My3LilMonkeys replied: It's different with every carrier....generally you can call your provider and ask them to block it, but I don't know for sure if that works for all of them.

lovemy2 replied:


Just my opinion but seems as though you have to work pretty hard to keep Lars "focused on your family" instead of spending time worrying about who else is contacting him you may want to do that soul searching you talk about...sorry I don't mean to sound crass but I agree if Lars doesn't want to hear from her he can take matters into his own hands and deal with her I certainly wouldn't be writing any letters to her but that is just me.....

Sorry - I hope you two can get things together....

luvbug00 replied: oh don't get me wrong things here are on the up and up and have been we are looking into buying a house together right now. He has made no effort to contact her and doesn't write her back. They haven't spoken since...well she texted him on his b-day last year but he didn't text back. I'm trying to give the girl a hint to leave him alone! He hasn't contacted her so she needs to stop trying to contact him. It's just annoying.

lovemy2 replied:
Ahhh got ya - I would ask him to call his provider then and have her # blocked - it shouldn't be a big deal - I am glad things are going better for you guys

msoulz replied:
ITA completely. If you send her a letter you look insecure. Don't give her that.

mckayleesmom replied: I think that it should be his responsibility to tell her to stop...especially if he knows it upsets you.

Kaitlin'smom replied: see if he can have the number blocked. TBH a letter from you might fule her fire.

glad things are going well for the 2 of you.

mummy2girls replied: yes i agree.. Lars is the one that should tell her to stop./ But fi he is not respionding back to her texts then maby sooner or later she will clue in and stop.

grandma replied: If you have numbers blocked from 'his' phone...you look controlling. Personally, I would be pizzed if my husband did that to me.
Talk to Lars and tell him how much it bothers you, then see if he takes care of the problem.
Also, he is not a 'stepdad' he is a parent figure. I'm only mentioning that before the x girlfriend does and you'll be ready.

luvmykids replied: I agree with everyone else, Lars needs to tell her to stop. Like someone else said, you don't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing it bothers you and looking insecure.

Crystalina replied:
I totally agree with this statement. She may be just waiting for you to say something so she can get a chuckle out of you being insecure (whether you are or not she may just love that. )

lisar replied: I say write her the letter. But make it look like you arent insecure. KWIM??? I am like that to. I would want to write her a letter or call her for that matter. I would probably call that way she cant print it out KWIM? Always nice in an e-mail mean on the phone.

CantWait replied: Sounds like a bit of jealousy.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: I'd just ignore her. Lars is.


Young adult women seem to get a heck of a lot angrier when you ignore them. To be honest though, I still chat with a few of my exes now and then... we were great friends both before and after our relationships... and I wouldn't cut them off just because i'm married. I do have a friend, though, who cut our friendship down because his girlfriend is a psycho and is totally insecure with me and his friendship. Whatever, he comes over still and tell her he's going to a buddy's. She wayyy immature about it, imo. What does she think i'm goinna do..seduce her boyfriend at the dinner table with my husband and kids around? Puh-Lease. Immature.

Calimama replied: I'd ignore her and let him tell her if he has a problem.

stella6979 replied:
I agree. No point in making a mountain out of a molehill. I might feel differently if this was something she was doing every day, but if Lars is able to ignore her, you should do the same.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Oh that's a tough one Nadia. Although I agree partly with the others that it should be the guys responsibility to say STOP, I have been through this before and I wrote the letter! And it's not because I'm insecure about my marriage at all and it's not that my DH was still contacting his ex, it's that his ex is PSYCHO, literally a stalker, so IMO, it is SHE WHO IS INSECURE....I mean come on, let it go, let the past be the past. We can MOVE out of state and she somehow finds us. And of course I told DH to ask her to stop, and he tried, but in this case, if DH even contacted her to say stop, she would think that she has gotten through to him, kwim? She even admitted once that even if he is mean and nasty to her, which is so unlike my DH, she still wants contact. That to me is insecurity. SO I finally emailed her a letter similar to yours. Just that she needed to leave us alone and that it actually hurts DH to have her try to contact him. We haven't heard from her since and that was three years ago! Hopefully it will last. We all don't know your relationship as well as you do, so if you think it's best to write her a letter, then I say do it. But be sure to tell Lars about it. I got the green light from DH before I wrote my letter, it's out of respect IMO.

Cece00 replied: I think you should tell Lars you dont really like it, and then stay out of it. HE should be doing the work of getting this girl to leave him alone if that is what he wants.