Jewish Funerals?? - is it appropriate?

ediep wrote: DH's grandfather passed away last night and we don't know the funeral arrangements. I know that he was Jewish so there isn't going to be a funeral home with an open viewing for days.

A few year back when his wife passed away, (dh's grandmother) I think I remember going to a funeral at a temple and we (the family) sat in a room with the casket to say our goodbyes for what seemed like a long time. The guest came, then there was a service, then a burial. We then went to Dh's aunts house to sit shiva (please excuse my spelling) . I think we did that for 2 days.

My question is..... what is appropriate for a jewish funeral? Wear black? Should I arrange for a sitter for Jason, and leave them home (if I can)? The service and DH's aunt live over 2 hours away....do I have to go back for the second day of shiva or is it to pay your respects once?

ediep replied: Dh just called me and told me that his aunt said in the Jewish Religion it is not appropriate for a pregnant woman to be at a cemetery and I'll have to wait in the car for the burial. She is not sure about the synagog.

does anyone have any experience with this?

holley79 replied: I'm sorry I'm no help but I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry for your loss.

coasterqueen replied: Wow I had never heard of that. Sorry I'm not help. I wonder why it's not good for a pg women to be at the funeral?

coasterqueen replied: Here's some info on the customs of jewish burials that might be helpful: Jewish Burial Customs

Also, I forgot to add that I am very sorry for your DH's grandfathers death. Many p&pt's are with you all.

MyLuvBugs replied:
Probably b/c they think if the PG woman is in the cemetary something will happen to the baby or the remainder of the pregnancy. Sounds like just an old wives myth to me, but if that's what the family wants.... might as well abide their wishes. KWIM?

I hope you get the answers to your questions. I know that Rae is or her DH is jewish, and someone else on here is also.

coasterqueen replied:
Oh I understand respecting their wishes. I just really honestly wondered why that is part of their custom.

MyLuvBugs replied:
I agree. To me it's silly to think that a location could cause something to go wrong with a PG, but people believe in stuff stranger than that I guess. LOL

gr33n3y3z replied:
you wear black
and the sit shiva you show up the 2 days or how many days they say
Sorry for your loss

CantWait replied: Just wanted to say sorry for yours and dh's loss.

aspenblue1 replied: Sorry for you loss.

aspenblue1 replied: I spoke to my friend that is Jewish. She said you are allowed to attend the synagoug Here is the info she has on the funeral. She said no Jewish law that you can not attend here is what she wrote to me.

Jewish Law does not forbid pregnant women from attending a funeral or visiting a cemetery.
However, many Jews believe pregnant women should not visit the cemetery due to superstition or, more specifically, belief in the evil eye (ayin hara). The basic premise of the evil eye: if we are happy, then evil spirits will harm us to change us from happy to unhappy. People who believe in the evil eye will avoid "tempting the evil eye."

Our family has always gone to the cemetery for funerals, burials and unveilings, during pregnancy and with small children. We clearly do not believe in the evil eye.

In my humble opinion, the decision of whether or not a pregnant woman should attend a funeral always depends upon the ability of that woman and her loved ones to accept the reality that sometimes "bad things happen to good people." If they believe that the evil eye is not responsible for these bad things happening and that bad things just sometimes happen, than they can attend. I tell people, however, that if they believe in the evil eye and are fearful the visit will lead to something bad, than they should not attend.

coasterqueen replied: Thanks for that explanation Carrie. That's very interesting and I definitely learned something new.

MommyToAshley replied: I've never been to a Jewish funeral, so I am no help. I just wanted to say that I am sorry. Many p&pt's.

Boys r us replied: Edie, I'm sorry for your family's loss!

A&A'smommy replied: I'm sorry for your loss!! And I didn't know anything about jewish stuff that is very interesting!

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Edie, I am sorry for your loss...and I am also sorry, but I have no idea about this. I have never been to any type of funeral before. All my grandparents have been cremated, so we have always had a service in someone's home afterwards. I wore black I think. Or possibly just normal clothes since it was a very private family thing. Jewish customs are all across the board, so it totally depends on the family I suppose. Orthodox Jews definitely practice things a lot different, so the whole "no PG women in the cemetery" may very well be the case. I would respect that personally, but I would ask the rest of the family and go with their wishes. Again, I'm sorry.

ediep replied: thanks so much for all your help ladies

We got the funeral arrangements and the service startes at noon tomorrow. My sister is taking Jason all day and bringing him home at night. I am so relieved that he won't have to be there. I remember when we went to DH's g-ma's funeral there was a lot of waiting and sitting and Jason wouldn't do well with that.

I still don't really have anything to wear, just some black pants but my only black top is either a t-shirt or a tank top. Oh well.