Just curious about your thoughts

MamaJAM wrote: I was talking to one of the other moms at the school yesterday and she mentioned something that got me thinking....I'd like your opinions on this.

There is a private school that's been around for quite a long time. It's a religion-based school. The buildings are getting older and they were looking into moving to a newer location. A family offered to donate one million dollars to purchase a new site -- with the stipulation that the school had to change it's name to include this family's name (not just naming a building after them...they had to change the school's name). The school refused the name-change so the family took away the offer of the money (gave nothing). The school was not able to relocate and is just working to make improvements on the campus they have.

I won't say who thinks what...but my friend and I have differing opinions on this:
~One of us thinks the school is selfish for not changing the name. One million dollars is a lot of money and the name isn't such a big deal.
~The other of us thinks the school did the right thing...that money isn't everything. And that the family was being selfish for insisting on a name-change...and withdrawing their money offer when the school refused.

Just curious what you guys think.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: Hmmm... I can see both sides of the argument. If I put it more personal terms (there is a similar school by me) Then I would say I agree with the one of you that thinks the family was selfish. Especially since it is a Religion based school. Say for the sake of this post we are talking about Trinity Academy...(I combined 2 names of schools I know) This school has always been Trinity...there have been numerous donations over the years(although none know of to be this big) and many volunteers have helped out there all without public recognition. Now because of a monetary gift the name should change? The school will now be known as Smith's Trinity Academy. I can see maybe naming a new gym or the library after the family. I think it shows a desire for public recognition and the ability to show off. People like that irk me I do agree with the school board's decision. Money can't buy you everything I think by them sticking to their values they probably taught some of the kids(and parents) in the school that lesson... New things aren't worth selling out for!



Also funny this topic should be brought up because I was having a conversation about the cost of a new school to a friend of mine and to buy land, build a new building, and equip a school (I don't know how big a school it is) but a million bucks is not going to go all the way towards so to demand a name change is alot to ask...it is not like they are building the entire school. KWIM?

amymom replied: Abbie said it very well.

I think that the donation should be acknowledge in some way, but changing the name of the school changes their entire identity. Many families have contributed in their own ways to the success of the school, to give over all the identity to one family (even if their contribution is LARGER than others) is not right IMO.

If this were the establishment of a brand new school, I could see naming it after the family.

This is what I think.

luvbug00 replied: it's a religous school?? .. They are very selfish to try and change the name of a school to their name especially one which is based on a religon. Just compleately pretentious to me.

MommyToAshley replied: I agree with Abbie and the others. to the school!

Besides, the family wasn't making a donation... they were trying to buy their name on the school.

amynicole21 replied: I think the school did the right thing. The identity of the school is important - it's like people who name their kid to the top bidder on ebay - not my cup of tea

5littleladies replied: I agree with everyone else. I think it was incredibly selfish for the family to insist on the name change, and even more so for them to withdraw the donation because they didn't get their own way. It sounds pretty childish to me.

MamaJAM replied: Thank you all...I feel so much better now.

The other mom actually got annoyed with me because I said I think the school did the right thing. I think the school really showed they have their morals in-tact by refusing to make the change. I think it's horrible that people who be so vain as to expect such a thing. And - top it off that they gave NOTHING then....just awful (IMO). Money isn't everything.
I said to DH last night that I wish the school was closer and we could send our kids there.

Bee_Kay replied: I agree.... the school did the right thing.

Why the heck change the name of the school? That is very selfish of that family. It sounds like they aren't doing it to be "charitable", they are doing it for their own darn image.... and bragging rights.

lesliesmom replied: I agree with everyone here... The school was absolutely correct in their turning down the funding. It shows their morals and standards and their dedication to their faith and the parishoners and students who make the school what it is.

The family, although their intentions for the donation were in the right spot, was just, IMO, trying to buy a mark in this world. Something that should be earned and not sought. If they were truly sincere in their offer, they would have accepted a wing or library, gymnasium, with their name attached to it as recognition for their generous contribution.

EvesMom replied: That's a tough one. Sounds to me that both sides are stubborn. The school, beggers can't be choosers. The family, it's not good will or charity if you expect something in return. Too bad they couldn't compromise.

luvmykids replied: IMO if that family is so charitable they would've done it with no expectations other than to benefit the children who attend. An acknowledgement would have been in order but sounds to me like they just wanted to boast about their contribution.

mom21kid2dogs replied: If a giver truly wants to "give" they'll do it without strings. I think the school was smart to stand their ground.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
I ditto this! Coming from someone who used to manage event sponsorships, people typically won't give money, especially $1 million, for nothing in return. It's selfish, but it's also a lot of money. A name on a school is completely different than a name on an event, but I sorta see both sides. It is too bad they couldn't compromise, because that money could have benefited the school in so many ways. Too bad it couldn't be a win win for both of them.

CAMSMOM1 replied:

ITA! The family was trying to buy the name. Not to help the school, or the children, but to give themselves a pat on the back, as if they are the heros?! I believe that charities should be done in private, and it shouldn't be to boost the ego of the person giving, but to help the cause.

I think the school made the right decision. And I'm proud of them for sticking to their morals, beliefs and convictions on this. I'm sure they will get the funds needed now, and I hope that school thrives in the years to come.

ilovemybaby replied: I think they just wanted to get the school named after them and that the school did the right thing. It was really selfish. Why would they want to name their school after a couple/person who is so "up themselves" that they would offer $1 million only if the school changes their name? That is not a religious attitude at all.