Katieleigh79..... - how did it go last night?

ediep wrote: I was thinking about you and your sleep situation ( or lack of sleep) and I was wondering what you and dh decided to do last night. Just wanted to see how you were this morning.

Kaitlin'smom replied: hehe great minds think alike! I was posting the same thing in her post!

I was thinking of you also and hope you find what works for you!

MomofTay&Sam replied: I was wondering how it went last night too. I hope things are looking better for you today.

MommyToAshley replied: I thought about you all last night! I hope everyone got to sleep quickly and there wasn't too much crying from baby or Mommy!

HUGS!!

KatieLeigh79 replied: Well last night i ended up sleeping on the couch right by his room, or listening to him pretty much all night long, DH stayed in the bedroom with the door shut so he could sleep, i think its going to be our new arrangement... from 7-9:30 he cried and cried and kept spitting up so i went and got him up even though i wasnt supposed to and nursed him for 30, he then fell asleep in my arms and i put him back in bed - he started to spit up and cry again and i was trying to think of the whole reflux thing and maybe it was hurting because he kept grabbing his neck and turning purple, i was told i needed to leave him in bed so i went ahead and put his little laying back seat in there so that way his head was tipped at a little more of an angle and he fell asleep for 4 hours, which was shocking then that was pretty much it but hes been asleep again most of the day so i figure he's either just dead tired this morning and needs to make himself feel better or his throat really hurts so if he doesnt get up soon its really gonna be an even longer night - figure i will try starting him in his seat in the bed again that way he isnt so sick and see what happens... next topic i will post probably is how to salvage a marriage

victoire2002 replied: Tough nights! I am sorry to hear that. Well, I don't know if it makes you feel better, but we have to sleep seperately too--- simply because my baby insists on having mommy (or daddy) in bed with him, and we don't all fit. It is pretty hard on me, and I sure hope that one day things change and DH and I can sleep in the same bed WITHOUT baby! It's pretty tough on our BDing, but ya know--- haven't even really wanted to anyway---guess it's the bfing!! LOL

Anyway, here are some sleep and feel good vibes.

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jdkjd replied: I really don't think the crying it out thing is good for him. He's obviously in pain, with the turning purple. I think trying to let him sleep in a swing/bouncy seat/carseat or anything that will keep him more upright would help him tremendously. Then you could put whatever he sleeps best in, in your bedroom until he's sleeping well. Then you could move that thingy into his room until he sleeps well, then transition to the crib.

Remind your husband that the number one priority for BOTH of you is to take care of your baby. And CIO is for babies that are comfortable but stubborn.

Your baby needs you. Maybe you could put the thing you used that tipped him up in the bassinet, and that way you could be close but separate.

And stop punishing yourself for going to him. Even YOUR doctor isn't the gospel (even if he thinks he is). If there was just one way to get a baby to sleep there wouldn't be so many experts that differ in opinion.

Your instincts sound like they are right on the mark. And I'm not someone who thinks that co-sleeping or breastfeeding are the only way. I weighed all of the options and for the first three months we co-slept and breast fed.

Now, Bailey sleeps in a crib and drinks formula.

Do what YOU FEEL IS BEST!

Kaitlin'smom replied: deffinatly sound like he is hurting from the reflux and getting him more at an incline is helping. If he needs to sleep in the car seat or bouncy thats okay most babies seem to for a while> i had to with Kaitlin, let her sleep in her car seat, then I worked on breaking her of that with the swaddling very tight and then in a zipper blanket so she stayed warm. Here is what I did when I was breaking her of sleeping in the car seat, first I would nurse her till she was asleep then I would swaddle her and then rock her for about 10-15 min then I would lay her down, took a couple of weeks but it did work for us.

I really dont think CIO is gonna work if he is in pain and he is just to young for that he needs to be comforted. try what you did again last night, incline him and if that works for now you will be able to sleep with hubby again!

Good luck! Big Hugs!

do what you think is best (IMO doctors dont know it all, everyone is different!)

Schnoogly replied: Yes I totally agree with these posts. Read my post on your original one--I was late to read it but I have more advice there. I wish my DH could talk to your DH, he would let him know that it is really important to go to the baby and not let him cry when he's in pain, which it really sounds like he is!!

We could never CIO even if I had wanted to try because 1) it really, really doesn't work with high needs babies--they don't self soothe and 2) if I had let him cry he would have turned blue and died, end of story.

This was just our situation but I have really BTDT, it just takes time. Iain was up every 1-2 hours for months and months, now he will sleep 5-6 and then be up every 1-2.

Is he on meds for the reflux? I would also consider getting another opinion with a different doctor if you are unsatisfied--it seems like your doc is trying to fix a very difficult situation with an "easy" solution that isn't working for you. I'm serious, you are the mom and you get to decide what is best for your baby, not the doc!!

Also DH and I didn't sleep in the same bed until a couple of months ago--we knew that we just had to put *us* on hold for a little while with our son's best interests at heart. I think you and your DH need to talk this over--having a baby means some sacrifices on both sides, but it will get better and you will be able to sleep together again!!
Steph

KatieLeigh79 replied: Well we compromised... DH is going to get an incline sleep positioner to try and get him to sleep back in his crib until i can see what the Dr. will give me to calm his poor throat and tummy down and i am going to try to keep a "schedule" but slightly modified (err well major modifications..) i will keep him on his 3 hour patterns, but do no more then 10 to 15 minutes of "crying" before going in and holding/comforting him and thats the max, we will start with 3 mins and go from there and if he still seems to have trouble i will go back to his seat... i know i cant win the sleeping with him deal - he's pretty stuck on that but at least now i can try and comfort him before he gets himself sick.. though i must say i am loving the benifits of BF *laugh* had my dr apt and i have only 4 more lbs of my 19 to loose in 6 weeks - but the tummy is still puffy so im thinking maybe its because its just muscle loss who knows... everyone keep their fingers crossed though i really think me telling him what "everyone else thinks" may help somewhat you guys have really been great for the family

Kaitlin'smom replied: I am so glad to hear you have compromised. its a great start, and now that you got that down and some other ideas (other them cio) things might just get better soon! My DH and I also slept appart for about 3 months I either was sleeping with her or in her room, so I would be right there if she woke up and he would sleep, I was so worried about her and also him not geting sleep with having to work and all, but now she is a good sleeper (wakes up usually once) and if he wakes up so be it, I have to work now to.

mummyof2boyz replied: I am so sorry for what you are going through. I remember when Hayden was a newborn, it was pure hell! But he had colic. Sounds like your little one may have reflux. So I know somewhat of what you are going through. The first 3 months of Hayden life he did nothing but scream for about 20hrs a day. IT was soooooo hard on me and DH. More me cause I was around him 24/7 and DH got away for a bit while he was working. I don't know much about reflux but I am sure things will get better, hopefully soon. I still look back at the days when he was colic and still cringe. But now I have a VERY happy baby and I can't belive it is the same baby. You will get through this. I know that right now it seems like it may never end but it will. Hang in there hun.

Hugs to you and ***********sleep vibes*********** to baby John!

MommyToAshley replied: Your ped may have already told you this, but there are some other things that helped Ashley with reflux. The first and probabley the thing that helped her the most is that I held her in an almost sitting position when I fed her and then held her up (usually on my shoulder) for 20-30 minutes after each feeding. I know that it sounds like more work and time holding him, but it was soooo worth it. Smaller feedings more often seemed to help too.

You may ask your Ped about meds... Ashley was on zantac. I am not sure if it helped or not, but it didn't hurt. But, holding her at an incline during and after feedings sure did help!

Hope things get better!

supermom replied: So glad you guys have worked out a compromise - and so glad to hear you are enjoying your BF experience and benefits!!

Your tummy muscles will take a bit, but a few crunches here and there will help (when you get Dr ok, of course - don't overdo!!) - they'll never get back to totally pre-pg shape, but it's possible to get close!

Many, many hugs to you and also your DH and John......and kiss John for us!