Lifelong harm from CIO

MomToMany wrote: http://observer.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/sto...1345420,00.html

Very interesting! I knew it was bad for them!

gr33n3y3z replied: that strikes me way too funny
Anything that Dr Spock says is B.S in my opion since his son went to jail so he should have no say in how parents shoud raise their kids thats for sure.
But some ppl. swear by him so go figure.
I'm sure he has some good tips but still.
I feel any advice is best if its your own from learing from your mistakes

Josie83 replied: I bet there is a counter arugument for this somewhere. I am always so wary of stuff like this that says "it is BAD" or "it is GOOD." We all know that every child and situation is different, and nothing is set in black and white. I'm sorry but I am not altogether in agreement with this article. Okay its not right to let your baby cry and cry when they are hurt or in pain etc, but I don't think you need to rush to their eery whim . . . but like I said that is my personal opinion, and obviously not an attack on ayone who disagrees with me. Just my xx

Boys r us replied: I don't think we can categorize any parenting advice and say this is how it should be done! To be honest, I don't let my kids CIO and there are times I regret it when I look at the monsters I seem to have created. I wish that there were times that I didn't rush to their every need and whim and let them figure out how to handle things on their own. Now, Braedon when one of his toys falls in the floor he looks at me and cries for me to pick it up..why you ask..b/c I always have before so as to not have him crying it out! It's almost like I've created two people who will go through life expecting to just have to make a little fuss in order to get what it is they need...and I do find myself asking if that really is a healthy attitude to carry through life and to teach a child? Really we are first generation non-CIO parents(for the most part) so do we really have any evidence as to how our children are going to turn out b/c of this?

For me, I just did what felt right and hearing my baby cry didn't feel right, it didn't have anything to do with Dr Sears or anything else..but in retrospect, this article aside b/c I don't fall so quickly over news release of this nature, I wonder what I am setting my kids up for in their future..I mean would it have really hurt them to have cried for 5 minutes b/c I was in the shower and needed to finish instead of me getting out and tending to them immedietly? really!

I'm opposed to letting a child seriously cry it out for extended periods of time, but if I have another child, I really do think I will try to do better by my child than to answer there every whim.
So there is a fine line between doing right by your kids and causing more harm than good.

alice&arik replied: I agree with Nicole on this one. But I don't jump when Arik says to.

I guess I was confused about the whole article. First it says do this and not this but don't do this too much. Sometimes if Arik is screaming and throwing a fit, I just try and make it a funny and tickle him and we end up playing or wrestling. But from that article I get that what I try is bad. If I try to give Arik a hug when he has a fit like this says, he kicks me and hits me and just gets mad. So I guess in my opinion, if it were a little baby, no i would not let them CIO, but Arik is a bigger kid and if there is nothing I can do to calm him down, then there is nothing I can do, he will stop. Especially when we are at Walmart and he wants a balloon, he will scream and scream, if I try to give him something else or tell him he has to wait til we are done, it doesn't work. If he is going to have a fit he has a fit. I am not going to make the world stop for him.

How is he supposed to learn to not have a tantrum then?

But I do agree that it probably isn't healthy for a baby to CIO, I don't think I could even handle screaming for very long.

moped replied: Intersting topic today - well, I don't agree with a child screaming, but I have made Jack CIO for sleeping purposes and it worked and he is the happiest, well behaved all around great kid to be around, he has independence, doesn't demand toys if they fall on the floor and is happy with me giggling or in his chair the whatever.......................I do not agree with the article, and I also agree that a time out should not be in the childs bedroom, because they should like the bedroom..................

Jordon and Lisa replied: Wow, yeah, me and my DW are dealing with this right now.

We pretty much started out as hard line "NO CIO, Period" people. However, our little Parker pretty much refuses to nap unless he's at the breast (for 3 hours???) or in my arms (for 3 hours!!?!?!?!), which is cute, but isn't realistic for us (although if we take him out in the stroller, he'll sleep in the car seat for a good nap...). Also, sometimes at night, if he's going down at 7 or 8, and he's nursed down, he'll wake up the minute Lisa gets up, and cries until he gets back on the nipple. However, the two times we've let him put himself to sleep recently, only once did he cry, and it was for a short period, but he did put himself to sleep.

THis is a tough one. I still feel, in my gut, that I don't want him to CIO, however, I"m not the one who has to stay in bed with him from 7:00 pm on, it's my wife, and it's driving her crazy. She LOVES parker to peices, but also needs to be a human being.

There is so much conflicting advice out there, it's driving me crazy!!!!!!

MommyToAshley replied: First of all, let me say that I chose not to CIO. It just didn't feel right to me and I did a lot of research on the subject when Ashley was an infant. While this article is one-sided, there are arguments for both sides of the CIO argument. There was another study done that was more long term that I found to be interesting... I will see if I can find it. Whenever I hear CIO, I always think of a news special I saw about an orphanage where kids were neglected. There were about 15 babies laying in their bed... all perfectly quiet. They had all learned that no one cared when they cried, so they didn't bother to cry. I am not saying CIO is neglect, I do realize that there are lots of parents that love and take very good care of their children but choose to CIO. But for some reason this story just stuck in my mind, and I think of it whenever I hear the words CIO. (even though I know this is an extreme case, and if you let your child CIO doesn't mean s/he will feel abandoned) I do, however, believe that some babies are too young to learn the lesson that crying will not yeild any results.

I felt that CIO wasn't right for our family. I couldnt never do it. Granted, Ashley was almost a year old when she started sleeping through the night. I don't judge those that do CIO, because what works for one family may not work for another. I would recommend spending some time researching both sides of the issue before you make up your mind though.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I listen to the 'type' of crying before I respond. Both of my children have different types of cries. I believe crying is communication for them at a small age and I try to listen for what they need by their crying. I guess I'm somewhere in the middle. Seems to be where I hang out most these days....somewhere in the middle. I'm not opposed to CIO, but I dont' necessarily practice it in full force, kwim? I think I'd go CRAZY if I jumped up everytime they made a peep. Not to mention it just couldnt' be good for them.

texasp3 replied: From the article... "When it comes to the crowded and hotly debated world of how best to bring up baby, there is a new theory that uses brain scans to argue that controlled crying not only damages babies' brains but produces angry, anxious adults."

Well, I'd say "angry, anxious adults" pretty much sums up DH and his two brothers and my MIL is STILL trying to convince me that Gabriel just needs to be left in his crib to scream himself to sleep each night.

ITA with the idea that there are different types of crying and different situations, as well as different personalities.

Also, I think a lot of times we confuse "infants" with "small children." I'm completely against allowing an infant to be left to cry alone with no human contact... I would not be the least bit surprised if that really does cause psychological damage.

An 18 month old, on the other hand, is a completely different ball game. In fact, I know a certain almost one year old who has started throwing all out tantrums if he doesn't get EXACTLY what he wants. That is a completely different situation and he usually stops crying BECAUSE I ignore him. I believe I would be damaging him if I allowed him to learn that he could get what he wanted by losing his temper... just as I believe I would have damaged him if I had gone the hard-core CIO route that my MIL insists is the One True Way.

Maddie&EthansMom replied:
Same here! Ethan has been throwing some bad tantrums lately. Over anything and everything. I can't help but laugh (bad mommy).

loveydad replied: I defiantly decided never to let my kids cry it out. It's too heart breaking for me!

Happymomof2 replied: I've always believed you have to do what is right for your family and your children. I've never really listened to any "expert" about CIO or many other things. I do what seems right to me, I'm the mom, so I think my instincts are pretty good.

My daughter is a great sleeper, but once in a while, she'll cry a little before falling asleep. Just because she whimpers for 5 minutes, doesn't mean I need to go get her. BUT, I never let her cry for more than 10 minutes and if she's sobbing uncontrollably, I get her right away. I learned after my son that I cannot attend to every need the very second they think they need it.

My cousin has three children, a 3 year old and 18 month old twins and not ONE of them sleeps for her because she refuses to let them cry for even one minute. I don't think she's a had a decent night's sleep in 3 years. And they funny thing is, they sleep for their grandmother, the babysitter, me, their aunt...everyone but their mother because they know she won't let them cry.

She calls me at night and gets all upset because my house is quiet at 7:30 and her children are still up and screaming at 9:30.

IMO, there are varying degrees to CIO. I would never neglect my child or let her scream for an hour straight, but I don't want her to think that all she has to do is whine a little and she'll get what she wants the exact second she wants it either.

And, just one other thing. I just have to say that even though Dr. Spck's son just went to jail, it doesn't necessarily reflect on his ability to give good parenting advice. It's unrealistic to believe that even the best parent will have perfect children. You never know how your children will grow up and judging a parent's ability based on that is not fair. Never criticize because you don't know how your children will grow up.

My cousin used to criticize when my son was younger, he has ADHD and a host of other problems. When her daughter was about 2, she acutally called me and apologized because she finally realized how tough it was and how imperfect she was. She is now blessed with three children that never sleep, constantly fight, cling to her like she's the Titantic, and the oldest almost got thrown out of daycare 3 times. Okay, so when she was mean to me, I wished upon her demon children. LOL Anyway, I don't judge or criticize her because she's doing the best she can, she loves her kids and it's not my place.

Okay, that was really long and I'll step off my soapbox now!

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Being a very young mother when I had Emily, I didn't know anything about babies. Emily would cry if I was holding her, cry when I was feeding her, cry when she was put on the floor, cry when she was put to bed! It was very frustrating for me and very difficult to deal with. There were a lot of times when my arms, my mind and my body were too tired to carry her, to listen to her scream and I would put her in her crib, step into the bathroom and cry myself. I think she could sense the tension in my body and this made her scream more. I didn't know they made baby slings and we couldn't afford a swing (I think this would have definately helped us). Do I think that I did a lot of damage to Emily, absolutely! She learned at a very early age that her mother had very little patients, she turned into a very negative, very serious child! She is very mature for her age. While I haven't done the CIO with the younger 2 (I didn't know that this is what I was doing with Emily), I didn't have too, they were completely different babies. They both were very passive, mellow babies. I guess I have mixed feelings about this. But to look back and think yeah maybe I could have bought a sling, maybe I could have just put earplugs in and held her. Would she have turned out differently? I don't know the answer to that.

5littleladies replied: I don't think there is one "pat" answer for any situation. I don't necessarily believe in cio but I do just let my kids cry sometimes. Like a few people said-I've learned to recognise their different kinds of cries and I respond accordingly. As far as the whole cio leads to angry, anxious adults theory-I know for a fact that my parents let me cio. They were very young, inexperienced parents and some of the stories they have told me about how they thought they were supposed to raise me (and they had the best of intentions) would probably freak ya'll out. I am in no way an angry, anxious adult because of it. And I would imagine many of the people on this board also had parent's who let them cio-it was a common thing to do back then-and would not think of themselves in that category. I'm not in any way advocating cio-I'm just saying that every situation is different and I think that people who have on occassion let their children cio should NOT feel badly about themselves.

annafrombc replied: Evan was left to CIO twice at age 4 months and NEVER has a problem going to sleep now. He knows that lights out means bedtime!
He is well adjusted and people always tell me Im LUCKY to have such a calm and happy baby (because he sleeps alot and takes all his naps without a fight).
Now, at age 11 months, if he does cry before bed, it is usually because he wants a bottle or he is sick and I do go to him. Being that I only did CIO twice to let him fall asleep unassisted does not mean that he will be harmed in any way. I think it is BS also.
I feel bad for women who tell me that their kids do not sleep at night and keep them awake etc because they cry and run in a soothe them at this toddler age.
I guess you have to do what you feel is right, but I can guarantee that I have not scarred Evan or that he is in any way even remembering those few nights when he was 4 months old.

He gets so many kisses and cuddles during the day that at night he jsut tlaks himself to sleep, trying out his new found voices and giggles.

mckayleesmom replied: I agree with Aimee...I listen for the type of cry and how dramatic it gets. With Mckaylee...she never cried it out,,because she was a great baby and I can honestly say that not 1 time in her infancy did she cry and not imediately stop when her problem was taken care of...dirty diaper, hungry,,,etc...She never had a crying fit where I couldn't fix it right away..she was a happy go lucky little thing...NOW RUSSELL ...hes trying to kill me..LOL. He has been use to being held alot because my family was visiting alot in the first month of his life. He wants to be held alot...Mckaylee was always obsessed with her swing. Sometimes I do let him cry it out....but never to where he gets out of breath or anything and half the time he is seriously full of it...how do I know you ask?...because if he sees me coming he imediately stops. You know crying..from whining and wanting their way.

coasterqueen replied: I'm not going get into this. I'm just going to say this.......I will not let my dd CIO. She sleeps in our room because she's scared to sleep in hers. When SHE is ready she WILL tell me and sleep in her own room. I won't let her CIO to get her used to sleeping by herself. I'm not going to rush her in any way for any thing.

MichaelsMommy replied: Interesting. It's nice how you guys can discuss this with 'class'
and not let it get out of hand.

I am not a fan of cio and choose not to go that way with Michael.
I can't say 'never' I don't know how I'll feel or what the situation
will be when he is 2 or 3 - but for now there is no way I would
let him cry. He's my happy boy and I want to keep him that way!

mom22many replied: Let me just start off by saying that I don't want to step on anyone's toes.... this is just my personal opinion, I do what I think is good at the time....

with our first, he would sleep very well, usually not wake up except if there really was something he needed, like a diaper change or a few ounces of milk. When he was around 7 months, we got pg with our daugter. We thought it was as good a time as any to try to get him to sleep on his own.. Well, mostly me, since DH waw usually at work from 5pm to 11pm.

So, I started off by putting him in his crib when he was REALLY sleepy, on the verge of falling asleep in my arms, I'd put him in his crib. It was hit or miss - sometimes he'd fall asleep anyways, sometimes he'd be right awake and blubbering. After about 1 week, he was getting more used to it, and I could put him in there wqhen he was a little more alert. I'd hold his hand, pat his back, sing, whatever.

After about 2 months of doing this slowly, he got it - I was able to put him in his crib awake but tired, (lights are already off) and walk away, step out of the room, and close the door. Again, hit or miss - sometmes he's still wake up once I close the door. I'd wait about 30 seconds, long enough to know if he'd continue crying, or if he was just protesting because I'd left.

By the time he was 11 months old, he was falling asleep on his own, and hardly ever waking up in the middle of the night. He's now 2 1/2, and I can "usually" put him in his room, he'll get in his bed, I'll shut the light, kiss him goodnight, and he goes down without a fight.

LATELY however, he's been a pain in the posterior.... I don't know what's wrong with him, he's turned a 180 from a nice quiet obediant child to "NO!!!" all the time.... terrible twos I guess... holy FRUSTRATING!! But usually he's pretty good about bedtime. No fighting with his nap either.

I HAVE let him cry it out once or twice..... simply for the reason that I was barely 20, first child, and alone most evenings (when he'd be most demanding with feedings and holdings etc...his most "awake" period) and once or twice I'd get SOOOO fed up with the constant crying that I'd put him in his crib, close the door, and go into the furthest room in the house, otherwise, I was afraid that I might hurt him unintentionally I was so frustrated. So in my opinion, if thoughts ose thoughts were around, I most definitely rathered him cry for a few minutes, even up to 10 or 15, if it calms me down.

It's not easy having a baby, it's even harder having a baby young, and even harder when you're mostly alone. There were times when I didn't get a shower for 4..5...6...up to 10 days without a shower. I can tell you.... crying or not, you get to a point where you NEED some time to yourself, or you go batty. Crying for 5 minutes while I take a MUCH needed shower? Deal with it.

****

Now with my daughter.... different story altogether. She slept great at first.... but then we (I) decided to let her sleep in our bed longer, because we thought she'd be our last for a while, and because of our household situation. See...DD was born in December. In July, I had a relative come to live with us for a couple weeks due to a separation situation. (she was barely 7 months then, we'd just started getting her used to a crib in her own room, she'd slept in a crib in our room up to now, as well as our bed for feedings and when we were too darn tired to get out of bed.... it was just...easier.)

We're now in February...and although this relative has her own apartment with her boyfriend since February the 1st, she's STILL HERE. Now it's my own darn fault and I know it, but I'm too much of a pushover to kick her out. So, since this relative has been living here, she's had our 3rd bedroom, also known as DD's room. However, she's sleeping in a crib that is in our DS's closet, the doors are removed and it fits perfectly.

WHile it works for us most of the time, nights like tonight are nightmares. It's 8pm, and they've finally gone to bed. I got frudstrated and sent DH up.

A couple weeks ago, DH was out of town for a week - until then, we'd always put DD to sleep in our arms, or lying down with her. While he was out of town, I was just so darn tired, I couldn't handle it....I'd put my DS to bed no problem, then I had to fight to put her down for the night... I gave up the first night, and left her in her crib to cry herself to sleep. I know it sounds harsh - but it's really not that b ad...DS wasn't sleeping, and he was talking to her, so she didn't really "cry", she just "whined". AFter about 15 minutes, DS was to the point where I "knew" he was playing with her, so I went up, laid her head back down, told DS to get to bed.

AFgter about 3 nights of this, I could close their door and walk down the stairs, and by the time I was downstairs her whining had stopped. Maybe it sounds cruel to some.... but when you've had it, you've had it, and I needed it. Now, I can "usually" put her in her crib, get DS in his bed, and within 5 minutes they're both quiet, at least until 1am, which is DD's chosen hour to wake up recently.

Anyhoo.... whatever works. It's not like I "neglected" DD by letting her cry.... most moms "know" the cries after a while. She's 14 months old....it's not like she's a newborna dn needs constant care - she has a schedule. If she's not sick, no fever, no stomach toubles.... if she's just had a diaper change, or some milk, or eaten, if I've just cuddled with her, she's not hurt.... if all her needs are met, then I don't worry about it too much, and it won't do her any harm to know that "whining" doesn't get me attention.

It really isn't easy, and I applaud those who have the energy to get up multiple times during the night, and the patience to deal with the child who refuses to sleep in their own room. Most nights, our DD ends up in our bed, and my DH hates it, but I don't mind, because she falls asleep and I don't have to get up. But don't ask me to get out of bed and sit with her for 20 miunutes until she falls asleep.... forget it.

I really think that every parent who is a good parent has their own view about what is right for their family situation. A parent who "neglects" their child is a different story...but to clarify what neglect is.... at last what "I" think neglect is....this is some of what I think it takes in order to be a good parent and not be neglectful

1) the child is in a physically and mentally safe environment, free from abuse of any kind
2) the child is fed when hungry or if the best efforts are made to feed the child when the child is hungry...different financial situatinos... but if you're reading this, you obviously have the internet...and if you have the money to pay for internet, you'd BETTER be feeding your child... lol
3) the child has a "safe" place to sleep, or best efforts to provide such...again...same comment as above...internet... money...place to live... homeless shelter at the very least....
4) the child needs someone to care for them, and they have someone to care for them, you or someone else
5) the child is dressed appropriately
6) Even if the parent is not able to provide the most basic things.... if best efforts are made, then it is not neglect, it is just a sad situation, and I would hope that others surrounding the parent are able to help in some way.

Anyhoo.... just a rant.... I don't want this to end on a bad note.... I'm just saying that whatever FEELS right to you probably IS right for you.

lena replied: It's funny because I feel so middle of the road: I agree with something in almsot every post. First let me say that I've done about five thousand things I swore I would *never* do as a mom. Nothing bad, just you know all those *nevers* before we had baby Marty sort of turned into okay what is best for baby and us right now. Here is Martin's sleep story--he is three months old now.

I was *never* going to let him CIO. Well what happened was I would put him in his crib when he began showing signs of tiredness, go downstairs, he would cry, I go back upstairs, quiet, downstairs, cry, etc. After a few tries at this then I would figure he A. is not tired after all (what do I know I've never had an infant before..) or B. Just wanted to be held. This began at about 6 weeks. Well, what happened is I ended up with a child who was *so* tired that he was absolutely miserable. He would get sort of to a point of no return, then he was up all day long, miserable because he was tired and couldn't get to sleep, and I began to worry about his development because he was not getting much physical activity or stimulation--he couldn't do anything because he was so tired and cranky he wasn't interested in anything. Martin has been a crib baby since day three. BTW, the strangest thing is ever since he was seriously like 2 weeks old he nurses like clockwork and goes to bed in his crib *at night* without even a peep.

I began lying down with him in my bed and holding him in the crook of my arm for naps at about 7 weeks or so. This poor child would literally scream and scream and scream until he fell asleep in my arms. After about a week or so the screaming himself to nap with me began to abate a bit, so then I would begin by lying down with him, when he fell asleep I would put him in his crib. More crying. Pick him up, nap with him, good sleep, etc.

So then my SIL says--he's manipulating you. Well I know enough to know that an infant is not capable of that kind of forethought or even much cause and effect behavior. But I really think I was disturbing his sleep by picking him up all the time and trying all of these new things for him. SO...I let him CIO. Now, I do agree that there are degrees of CIO and you begin to know your baby's needs as well as his cries. Contrary to the article, I would never ever just put him in a room and leave him crying till he fell asleep or get angry with him or tell him to shut up. I remember the day I said Okay I'm going to put him in his crib and he is going to scream for five minutes and I sat down here watching the clock and practically falling apart. Five minutes comes, I go upstairs, and he is lying there screaming *with his eyes closed*. I reach down to pick him up, and he fell asleep. Back downstairs, more crying, five more minutes, tummy rub, and he is back to sleep. This took a few days, but now Marty sleeps in his crib for naps with barely a peep. Sometimes he needs help slowing down like if we have had a busy day or the dogs have been mental all morning, then I will still lie down with him for a nap. Plus I like the closeness. Otherwise, he has found his fingers, he knows my voice, if he is having a hard time falling alseep, I pop in every five or ten minutes and rub his tummy, and he is getting good sleep.

When he is overtired he will still, albeit rarely, scream for a llittle while (last night) before bed. DH and I take turns doing tummy rubs and he is out like a light. I know this is long, but I just wanted to illustrate the process, for us anyhow, of what it took from *never* ever to this is what works for my child. Marty knows we are there, he is a happy baby, and I am secure in the knowledge that his llittle brain is going to develop just fine *because8, among other things, he is getting good restorative sleep.

JMHO, (Sorry, I did not know how to let people know this was so long )

Leah

GavinsMommy replied: Hey Leah!

I agree in the fact that everyone has to find what works for their child. I couldn't ever let Gavin scream and scream and that is what I define as CIO. But some people define it as letting your baby cry for even just a minute while you're finishing up some dishes or something. That is extreme to me. I never did that in the beginning, but the older Gavin got, the more I would let him whimper while I finished something up. I would NEVER let him wail for more than a few seconds though. I take that as him showing me MOMMY!!! I need you!!! I don't buy the whole manipulative thing either. Yes, I do think that much of the time they just want us to cuddle them or hold them, but that's not manipulative! That's them being used to having someone close and wanting love and affection from the person/persons they love most and feel love them. I think what is traumatizing isn't the crying...but the though of them being alone and unloved. If I cried and cried while I was a baby, I'd probably be more hurt emotionally thinking that my mommy wasn't coming back. But what works for one family or baby may not work for the next, and that is fine. I don't agree w/ CIO, but after a day or two of them crying while you're holding their hand or letting them know you're there....that helps them learn to comfort themselves and I don't think that's bad. Sometimes babies need to cry to relieve stress that was suppressed by our calming methods we use throughout the day. But I never let Gav cry...he wants boob and NOTHING works other than that.

Jordon and Lisa replied:
Oh man, it's hard to believe I wrote that, things are so different now, only a month later.

I think we weren't listening to our guts enough, and relying to much on books to give us answers.

When I started letting my intuition lead things, we made a few minor changes, and within a week, we had Parker sleeping in his crib, with no crying at all. Now, he loves it! He sleeps better and better, is taking full naps, and only wakes up once maybe twice each night. Plus, the DW and me get about 3 to 4 hours of Grown Up time at night, which is just great.

There are many gradations to the CIO argument, and I think we went through many of them.

For a while, we were letting him cry for naps, out of desperation, and because my wife wanted to see if it would work. He was a little shaken by it, and didn't like the crib much for a week afterward. So, to erase that memory, we played with him in the crib for a week, with no sleeping in it, just playing, and he seemed to forget the trauma of crying in it.

Now, he'll roll around a little, give some big 'ol smiles, and go right to sleep. I'm so proud of him. I think he was sick of my snoring and our rolling around and bumping him.

Man, life after "sleep problems" is very sweet. I feel like a different person, and my wife and I are getting along much much better.

There is hope!

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Hmmmm, I've fortunately been really lucky with Wil because he never cries about bedtime. Yes, he cried in his first months like all babies do, but that was because I was on milk duty and he wanted to be fed. I practiced always putting him down in his crib for naps. I never let him fall asleep somewhere else if I could help it. Of course he fell asleep on my chest sometimes, or in the car, but I tried my best to get him in his crib as soon as possible. He rarely fussed when I put him down. I believe this helped MY BABY get used to his sleep environment. He started sleeping through the night at 3.5 months. Maybe it will change when he's older.

Babies cry for many different reasons and I do think it's silly to run in at every peep. It's not intended to be cruel or damaging, but again, I've been lucky and Wil almost never cries. So I never really had to make the decision about practicing CIO or not. It's kinda funny, but he's sorta the opposite - he actually fusses because he WANTS to go to bed. He knows when he's tired. I put him down, nap or bedtime, and he goes right down. I don't want to brag, but he is extremely easy. It's like he knows it's time for bed or nap, yawns, and falls asleep. A little soft music helps too.

Its absurd to believe your sleeping habits as a child determines how or who you are as an adult. Now that I'm a parent myself, I've learned to stop blaming my folks for all my own psychological drama.

Mommy2BAK replied: I don't belive the CIO method is for us.
But I know that my mom used it on me and many of my friends parents used it on them as well, I think it was a timing thing with them.