Losing control of kids - help

luvmykids wrote: For the last few weeks it seems like the kids have just been rotten. Is it a phase or am I totally losing control? I expect some behaviors, just because of their age, but I feel like somewhere I did something that sent a message that they don't have to listen! Everything from getting dressed in the morning to going to bed, talking back, refusing to do what I say, getting into stuff they know they shouldn't, etc. They'll want to play with beads and dump the entire bucket, or play dough and throw it all on the floor ... are they bored?

Any advice? Sometimes I feel waaay outnumbered, like while I'm disciplining one the other two are doing something, then while I discipline them the other one is back at it. Time outs and taking away toys seem to be all we do lately! And even then it doesn't seem to have any lasting effect.

My3LilMonkeys replied: Sorry, I have no advice because we haven't had this issue yet. Just some and ~~*~~*~Good Behavior Vibes~*~~*~~

my2monkeyboys replied: I know my son is only 3, but I've noticed that he gets way more irritating/irritated when he's bored. Maybe you can try playing with them a little more (I know, I know, who has time, right?!?)... maybe try to make up some new game to play or something. Usually if I take 30-45 minutes and just play, nothing else going on, it seems to really help.
Good luck!

kimberley replied: we all have days or weeks like this, it's not you. i know with my kids it is usually because they are bored or need more individual attention. redirection still works at 9yo so on those melt down days, scrap everything and just bake cookies or something. it is much easier than discipling a rowdy bunch that isn't listening lol. we are here to listen

CAMSMOM1 replied: I know I have more discipline problems with my kids at work, when they are bored, or stuck inside all day. I can see they have tons of energy, that needs to get out. So we have to prepare a fun activity inside & an outside game for them. And if we don't, then it's just a matter of time that they are fighting and tattling.
Maybe try to plan a fun activity everyday for the kids. I have tons of suggestions. But I'll list a few.

~Buy some water color paints, and construction paper. Water color is fun, and isnt messy.
~Or you can make homemade play-dough...get the kids involved in making it.
~Outside, play a game of tag. Or hide and go seek.
~Get 3 bottles of bubbles, and let them have fun catching them.
~Print out some coloring sheets (you can find them online) and let them color a picture for Daddy.
~Turn on the music, and just dance around.
~Or take a walk to the park or the dollar tree store.

It doesn't take much money, but a little prepration. If you have things around the hosue for them to do, when you see them acting up and getting bored. Especially if they are staying home everyday, they need some new stimulation. KWIM? Or ask them what they would like to do. And each week, you can do something new, that they choose.
Get their energy focused on something constructive, and creative. Just think, what would they be doing at PreSchool? And try to mimic some of those actiivites at home.

Ann

LovinMyGirls replied: I have days like that with my oldest. There are days when she's always doing something she's not suppose to be or just doesn't want to listen.

Daisymom2 replied:
You are not alone. Sometimes I'd like to shoot myself, trust me, i'm not gonna sugar coat it! JK
All of their good moments make up for everything else. All the tylenol pm I must take, all my hair that is falling out and probably ready to turn gray....But I love almost every other minute of it!

MommyToAshley replied: I think a lot of it has to do with the time of year... are you where the weather is too cold to go outside? Ashley has been getting antsy and I am sure it's because she wants to go outside and run run run. She goes to gymnastics, dance, and we meet a playgroup at an inside playland on Fridays... but that's still no substitution for running outside. Today she even asked me when it was going to be spring. I keep telling myself to hang in there.. spring is around the corner.

It sounds like you got a lot of really good suggestions... hope some of them work for you.

luvmykids replied:
It dawned on me, if I have spring fever they probably do too. We have a playground up the street, we've walked up there twice in the last week and I think that's a big part of it.

I've also gotten better at the distraction thing and basically when I don't seem to be getting through to them I just change the subject! And I usually avoid taking them to the store b/c most of them don't have a cart that all 3 fit in but I realized as much of a pain it is, they love it and it's a pretty fair trade to have them in better spirits at home. And we went to the zoo last weekend, we're going to be doing a lot more of that!!!

daycare mom replied: My kids at the daycare have been getting like that too. Luckily it's been nicer this winter, so they do get to go out every day. But not for long. Spring fever is definitely in the air!

b&bsmom replied: My suggestion is to get a bin with odds and ends, different craft projects, special playdo or clay, special coloring books, toys they haven't seen in a while. Pull it out on days like this to get things back under control.

With my guys I felt out of control so we sat down and came up with the marble system. They came up with rules on how to earn a marble and how to lose. When they get 20 marbles they get $2 and when they have $10 we will go wherever they want to spend it.

It has been working very well. If you want more details on it let me know. Hope this helps.

Brias3 replied: I hear you on this one. By the way, good suggestions so far from everyone! I'll take heed myself. I feel this way personally largely in part to the fact that my husband travels alot. Not that I'm "blaming" that situation, I just feel that sometimes I go on overload because I'm dealing with all their bad moods and behaviors alone at once many days. I have so many distractions and trying to meet all of their individual needs single-handedly causes me to, at times, not give the one on one attention I need to be giving.

Mine are also in the spring fever phase. Being cooped up inside is getting the best of everyone. I'm trying to work through more stressful situations and not avoid them, like going to the store like you mentioned, and I think eventually it will work for the best.

Keep on doing what you're doing....you're a great mom!