Major Major Potty Problems - Poopy issues - I need HELP - maybe TMI

My2Beauties wrote: I don't know what to do. Hanna has really been having issues lately with #2. She is only going every 3 days or so and when she does it's so hard that it doesn't even make any marks in her underwear I know may be TMI but it's hard as a rock and she screams and cries whenever she goes. She will not let anyone touch her or come near her when she is doing #2 - any other time for #1 she will go on the potty but not for #2, she will go and hide and you can hear her crying and she pushes really hard and has the toughest time going. I feel so bad for her when she does go. MIL suggested I give her some prune juice everyday for the next few days to loosen up her stools, but how can I get her to go on the potty, I think this will make it easier on her as well since she will be sitting down. I think part of the problem is that she is so weirded out by doing #2 that she holds it in, I mean you can see her getting ready to go and she gets really tense and she'll pass gas but then she'll never do #2 maybe until the next day. Her belly hurts her for sometimes 24 hours before she'll go and she'll constantly be passing gas but will never go. I don't know what to do about any of this. Jeanne or someone do you guys have any suggestions? I know you went through this with Corey - I need all the help I can get with this one

luvmykids replied: I didn't have this problem, but maybe more fluids and more fiber?

Lots of luck.

Kaitlin'smom replied: I would say try the prune juice to help lossen them and maybe more fiber to help her go more often. Also I dunno ifyou have tried this but Kait was not fond of #2 in the potty and was well trained on #1 for the longest time. I told her we were going to the store so she could pick out a specail treat, what ever she wanted and then when she went #2 in the potty she woudl get said treat. She picked suckers and when ever she felt the need to go she woudl try and at the beginning when she tried and only farted I woudl still give her one for trying, then when she did go we made a HUGE deal of it and she got a sucker. reward worked for her and well as big girl undies.

Good luck

kit_kats_mom replied: Jeanne will probably have lots of info for you. All I wanted to say was don't push the potty for #2 right now. The pressure to perform may be adding to her withholding. Just get her to where she's going regularly & then work on the potty. If you notice her getting constipated again, slow down on the potty training.

TeagansMom609 replied: I would try giving her raisins or mandarin oranges rather then prune juice. When Teagan was really constipated to the point where I had to put on latex gloves and help her go, prune juice didnt help much. But the raisins and mandarin oranges really got things going. I think once her bowel movements get softer she wont mind going on the potty as much. Let us know how it goes!

PS. I agree with giving her little treats when she goes. If you dont want to give her candy everytime try stickers.

3_call_me_mama replied: If she drinks a lot of milk cut back on the amount cause that will definately constipate her. Also increase her fiber, (and as someone mentioned mandarin oranges work great as do raisins) also if it is a fear of the toilet issue let her know that it is ok to poop in a diaper and try putting one on her when she hasn't pooped in a while that will at least encourage her to go and not hold it as long. As she gets more comfortabel with the potty then try pooping in the potty again.

Jamison'smama replied: Jamison has had a long history (well almost a year) of witholding her poop. Certainly adding natural stool softening agents will help but it may have nothing to do with the amount of fiber in her diet. Holding it in for a few days absorbs the water therefore making it hard. We are on prescription medication now that adds water to the poop and makes a world of difference but there are many things to try first.

The first thing my doctor recommended was bowel training--about 10 minutes after breakfast and dinner, put her on the potty for just a few minutes--(less than 5) --the digestive system is naturally working it's way down and you may get lucky. The idea is for her to have less painful poops to show that it is possible. Once they are holding it and it is painful, in my experience (and not to speak for Jeanne but I believe it is the same for her daughter) it is can be a challenging road.

Unfortunately nothing worked well for us before the medication--it seemed more about control than anything--she didn't work hard to poop--she worked hard NOT to poop.

I will think back and try to come up with more things that Jeanne and I talked about. Hang in there--it gets better.

jcc64 replied: Brenda and I are the reluctant "experts" in this area. The main difference for us is that it wasn't the location that was freaking her out, it was the act itself. The problem probably started with 1 or 2 hard, painful poops like the ones Hanna is dealing with lately. I think Corey, like some of my relatives, has a predisposition to being constipated, but once she made the connection between pooping and pain, the real problems began. And not to freak you out, LeaAnn, but once they start, they're difficult to get rid of. (This has been going on for almost a year for us, and Corey, like Jamison, is now on a prescription stool softener). So, my advice to you is to work VERY HARD to nip this in the bud.
I would first start by talking to her and letting her know that you don't care where she goes poopy, as long as she goes. Give her the choice- if she wants the diaper- GIVE IT TO HER! The training can wait till later.
Next is fluid intake. Make sure she's getting A LOT, as much as possible- of either 100% fruit juice or plain old water. Cut out the milk and cheese- dairy's a big constipator.
Watch her diet like a hawk. Foods to avoid- all dairy, refined carbohydrates (anything white, bleached or processed- no white bread, white rice, bagels, etc.), mac n cheese, chocolate, sugary stuff, bananas.
Good foods to use- raisins, grapes, any berries, peaches, pineapple, whole grain stuff, oatmeal, high fiber cereals (Corey likes Fiber One Honey Clusters- a whopping 13 grams of fiber per serving), anything with Flaxseed Oil in it. You can buy Flaxseed Oil in the health food store- it's kind of similiar to olive oil in taste- mix it into her pasta, soups, etc. My mother swears by it, and it's really good for you even if you don't have digestive issues.
You can ask your ped about giving her Milk of Magnesia. Corey used to take up to 4 teaspoons a day of it- she liked the cherry flavor and took it willingly. It did work for awhile.
If the problem persists beyond a couple of weeks, I would not hesitate to ask for a prescription for Miralax, which is what both Corey and Jamison take now. It is, as the name suggests, miraculous for us. Her problems have all but disappeared. Because her poops are now comfortable and effortless, she no longer freaks out and tenses up when she feels the urge. We also reward her with pennies in the "Poopy Jar"- once she amasses 10 pennies, she gets a little prize.
I feel for you, LeaAnn. Corey's whole personality took a huge nose dive when we were in the trenches with this. She, and we, were completely miserable for days at a time. She was sullen and withdrawn- it was sad. She practically ruined our family trip to Disney World last summer. Who knew a poop could have such a huge impact on someone's life?! Like I said, take this seriously, and get her out of the fear/pain/with-holding cycle asap. Good luck and keep me posted.

My2Beauties replied: Thank you guys sooooooo much! This is exactly what she is doing. She will go for 3-4 days sometimes, when she was in Alabama with dad the whole week, she pooped twice and she was there for 7 days. This really bothers me. I can see her trying to hold it in. Her whole body just completely tenses up and she just screams in pain for a few minutes, then she stops and she's fine for a while and then she does it all over again. She is doing so good peeing on the potty, but pooping I have just left her alone. I feel if she poops in her panties I don't care as long as she goes. I have been meaning to get some flaxseed oil, which I am going to do asap and I am going to give her a bowl of my raisin bran every night, that stuff sure does make me go The problem is, she is addicted to milk, she probably drinks 4 cups a day, if not more, I have no clue how many the sitters give her. I would think probably 2 there and then 2 at home at night, she also has juice and stuff too. I am going to try and get her off of so much milk and drinking more juices and water. I am going to do the raisin bran thing and the flaxseed oil thing too. Poor baby! Do I need to talk with her doctor before giving her the milk of magnesia? I want to try that as well, I want to do everything I can before having to do the stool softener thing, but it sounds like inevitably that is the surefire thing I just can't stand to see her in pain anymore.

My2Beauties replied: OMG and of all things, I just called to check on her, and they said oh she is fine, she's eating a banana NOOOOOOO - that is what I was just calling her to talk about. She didn't know though! Urg! I said well I guess it's too late now, but don't give her anymore of those Darn it! Guess we'll be doing major raisin bran tonight.

Kaitlin'smom replied: glad they were able to help you with this, have you talked to her that its okay to go no matter whne or where. Why not use a treat or some type of reward just for going. Kait was nto excited about stickers but she was about picking something out that she got for going. Have you tried that as well as diet?

I hope this gets better.

jcc64 replied: Try the Fiber One cereal I mentioned in the other post, LeaAnn, it has more fiber than Raisin Bran. You can always add the raisins in yourself- that's what Corey had for breakfast today.
I probably would run it by the dr first about the Milk of Magnesia. You could probably just ask to speak with the nurse over the phone- that's what I did.

Kaitlin'smom replied: How is Hanna doing, any luck with any advice given?

Jamison'smama replied: Jamison likes Cracklin' Oat Bran---I use it as a snack in the car and in the bag when we go out.

jcc64 replied: I love that stuff too, Brenda, but Corey doesn't care for it. I think it tastes like a cookie- it's yummy.
LeaAnn, I just wanted to allude to the fact that while it's possible to treat this problem through diet alone, and you should do everything in your power to get things moving naturally, it may also be the case that nothing you do will completely resolve it if it becomes a psychological issue.
The reason I am mentioning this is that I visited the dr at about the same stage that you are right now with Hanna (which for us was last Feb). He gave me many of the same suggestions I/we have given you. And off we went to battle for months with this. I wish we hadn't waited so long to ask for the Miralax. I think had we intervened sooner, not only would we have spared ourselves alot of unhappiness and discomfort and general disruption to our lives, but the problem wouldn't have gotten so out of control. You can take the meds just for a few weeks or a month- long enough for her to forget about the trauma. For Corey, it's gonna take a little longer, b/c it went on for so long, and it's a big monster in her head. I just hope our experience/advice can help you avoid some of the same issues.

DansMom replied: Just seconding what the others have said. We still have frequency issues here, but flax oil and remembering to keep him well hydrated have helped with consistency. And I agree too to follow her lead on where and how she wants to poop (potty or diaper). When Daniel was finally ready for pooping on the potty, it was easy. But pushing him before he was ready only worsened his anxiety about the whole thing. It'll happen