Major vent..

Calimama wrote: I have 2 vents actually..

DH has only been gone since Sunday but it's sooo hard. Everywhere we go we see Marines which then gets Miabella's hopes up and she starts looking for her daddy.. then she gets heartbroken all over again when she can't find him. We found out yesterday that it looks like they maybe getting extended so this deployment could be 11 months long, rather than the normal 7.

I'm so tired of his family calling to "check on us" and the conversation ends up being how hard this is on THEM, how long 7 months is going to seem, and how this completely disrupts their lives. They are upset that he's not calling them, even though he cut ties long before this deployment with some of them. They have done some horrible things and have started massive amounts of drama that is just draining on him and I and our relationship. He explained over and over that if they would just stop the drama, the rumors.. w/e.. then we would invite them to be back in our lives, but they've never stopped and they wonder why he won't call them during this deployment.

Seriously, I'm not going to stay sane if something doesn't change. I don't want to talk about this with him because I want him relaxed and focused on his job...

moped replied: Well the family thing is tough - and I am likely a bit more mouthy than you because I would make it pretty clear that it isn't easy being in your shoes either - Bella wanting her dad, Denise not having her husband to lean on etc - but that is just me - I would say "ya know, funny thing is, it really isn't all about you guys"

Calimama replied:
Oh trust me.. that's crossed my mind.

moped replied:
I could type you up an email when I am in a really "good" mood

bawoodsmall replied: I am so sorry. I dont know what that must be like. My bosses daughter's husband has had 3 tours overseas however and they have 3 young children. Do you live on base? I know it really helped her to talk to her "military friends" because they knew what she was going through kwim? As far as him fam goes do you have to talk to them? Can you screen their phone calls and accidentally miss at least part of them so you dont have to deal with it. Try to find some time to yourself also even if it is to cry or scream. Then maybe you can get it out of your system till the next one. Dont bottle it up girl.

grapfruit replied: And don't answer their calls if possible! I mean screen them. I would! We all know how hard this is for you. We'd kick their butts if we could!

momofone replied: Try your best to stay detached emotionally from them if they cause alot of stress because your marriage is the most important relationship.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I'm so sorry, that must be tough on you. As far as his family goes, ignore them. Seriously, don't take their calls. I think you're right by not telling your DH about it. You can say what Jen said, that it's "not all about you guys", but it sounds like whatever you say won't make a difference. IMO, they are who they are and most times, people who have hurt others won't change. They sound self-absorbed IMO. So my advice would be to just try to stay positive for your family and just try to look past their annoyances.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I understand completely where you are coming from. My MIL was the exact same way. Sorry hun. I hope it gets better.

lovemy2 replied: Get on a plane and come East - we will take care of you

I am sorry you have to deal with all of this - and it seems like you have dealt with it for so long -

I am sorry too that DH is gone for soooo long - that really stinks - I honestly don't know how you do it - 7-10 months is a long time and poor Bella - I hope you can find some comfort from your military friends and of course - you always have us

gr33n3y3z replied: get caller ID and ignore them

A&A'smommy replied: I'm SO sorry sweetie that SO sucks!!! I agree start screening their calls

MoonMama replied: I'm with Lisa get caller ID and ignore them. Sorry they are making an already tough time even more tough honey.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I completely understand. I know what both sides. What it is like to be away from your family and hearing from your partner what it's like dealing with everything at home. I think if you just focus on the three of you and forget everyone else you'll get through this just fine! I'm sorry to hear that it's been extended another 4 months. He'll be home soon!