Maybe I'm done babysitting. - sorry...a little long

mammag wrote: I am at such a point of frustration here! I need to vent....if you don't mind.

So most of you know what happened with the little girl I was babysitting for for the last 3 years. Well, I started a new child 2 weeks ago (well, Thurs of that week).

To begin with, she came and met with me and I agreed to watch him and she tells me, "Well, I don't have a job yet but I have an interview Monday". So I figured I'd wait a while and I took my ad out of the paper. She did get a job a week and a half later, cleaning houses. I had him Thursday and Friday and then all of last week except Friday. Friday she just didn't show up but she had been making hints about hating her job so I thought maybe she quit. She called at 1:30 that day and said she was just going to quit her job but they offered her more so she was going to go ahead and work and he would be here Monday. I wanted to say "Don't you think it is a little rude to just not call me and decide not to bring him anymore?" but I wanted him to come back at least until Christmas is over.

He's supposed to be here at 6:15....she called 6:30 Monday to say he was sick and staying with Grandpa...would be here today. Again, she doesn't show up today so I called at 6:40 and she said "OH, I was just going to call you (a little late don't you think?), he'll probably be there tomorrow, I want to make sure he's okay". I have a feeling she won't be bringing him tomorrow either. So in the meantime, I turned other, reliable, families down to watch him and I'm not getting paid! It's Christmas time and, quite frankly, every little bit effects what my kids will get for Christmas.

Besides all that, the poor boy comes smelling like an ashtray and a sippy cup filled (literally) with Pepsi at 6:00 in the morning. She said he can't drink milk and the dentist said juice rots their teeth! Uh, I don't think the dentist would approve of giving the kid several cans of soda a day. That is what she wants me giving him all day! His dad even asked me to fill it up before he left.

So I don't know what I want to do at this point. I'm thinking this just isn't for me anymore. There are too many inconsiderate people out there and the thought of starting over the whole interviewing and getting comfortable process is overwhelming to me.....

Boys r us replied: OMG!!! I'm apauled by this woman's child rearing skills..or lack there of! Sounds like she's not exactly a reliable person in any aspect of her life. I mean, yeah there are days I hate my job too...but I have two kids to take care of, not to mention a babysitter that depends on me for her income..if I don't come b/c Brae is sick or I just don't feel like it, then I pay her anyhow..that's just a rule..unless she's unable to watch my child for her own reasons, she gets paid!
There are plenty of reliable, good families out there hun, just keep looking! Childcare is a great source of income for you and still allows you to be at home with your kids!

mom21kid2dogs replied: Like Nicole, when I was working the sitter got paid if the baby was sick or didn't come for any reason other than the sitters time off~that's a standard agreement for in home sitters in my area. Hopefully, the girl will just quit and you can get one of those nice reliable families!!! I would make sure the next agreement you have with a family ensures you get paid in this manner. It tends to weed out those who aren't that interested. Good childcare is extremely hard to find, at least in this area it is, (which is why I'm home instead of working) and I think a competent sitter can get just about anything within reason that they want. Hope you get the right situation soon!

luvbug00 replied: Pepsi???!!!!! what the *** is she thinking?? that child is getting NO nutrients!! I'm sorry but as a former daycare provider I'd call cps. I'm not one to mess with a childs health.

Secoundly HOW RUDE to call last min or not at all. Does she not realize this is YOUR job? and you have a family too ? and that you aren't watching her kid for the fun of it?

what a stinker!

jcc64 replied: Pepsi in a sippy cup??????????????

mammag replied:
I know!!! Can you believe that? I've never seen that before. I mean, I'll admit that I gave my kids a little here and there at that age....like if we went out to eat or something. But on a daily basis??? In a sippy cup??? As his only drink??? I try to give him water during the day so at least he isn't chugging it here....which is why his dad asked me to put soda in it when he picked him up. He said that he usually keeps some in his jeep but didn't have any and he would freak out (on the 5min drive home mind you!) if he didn't have some when he got in the car.

It's amazing what you run into when babysitting. I had a kid once who she wouldn't let him drink city water because of the flouride and wouldn't get vaccines for him....okay that is fine, I'm thinking worried parent caring about her kid in the way she thought best.....then she told me she smoke the whole pregnancy!!!! You don't think that would hurt the kid??? Alrighty then! Sometimes I just have to cringe and move on....their not my kids after all....

jcc64 replied: I hear you, Jeanie- as a dcp you have to follow the parents' instructions, but that one in particular I would struggle with. I suppose at this point the child has one step out the door, so it's all a moot point, but I think I would speak up and suggest that maybe they misunderstood what the pediatrician meant about limiting juice intake- that surely substituting one nutritious, but sugary drink with a completely non-nutritious cup of sugary junk is not something any competent dr would suggest. I let my kids have a cup of soda occasionally out in a restaurant, but to offer nothing else, day in, day out to a little child is incredibly irresponsible and just plain stupid. Sorry to sound so judgmental- but the information is out there, all over the place. If you're gonna have kids, you have the responsibility to get educated.

CAMSMOM1 replied: I am a Supervisor at an after school program, and we have a policy that the parents must pay regardless if their child attends that day. That child is filling a spot where other's could be....it's a policy most daycare providers have. Especially if you are a homeday care and this is your only source of income.
I would have a talk with the mother and discuss these concerns. Tell her that you have turned down other families that are needing care, so her son can attend...and he's not there and you aren't getting paid. If the sods issue bothers you, which I can see why it does, discuss that also.
I know it can be difficult telling a mother about this, but as her provider, you need to speak up. If she doesn't like what you have to say, she will probably drop him. Which is no sweat off your back.
And in the future, I would have several interviews with the parents and their children before accepting them. That way you can sort out the bad apples.
And I would put in the contract that you are to be paid regardless of attendance.
Do you get paid vacation? My old daycare that my son attended, it was a homeday care, she would get paid 2 weeks of vacation a year...just like a normal employee. You're intitled to that.
Ann

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Yikes. I think she heard what she wanted to hear...that it rots teeth, instead of juice can contribute to rot teeth if kids go to bed with a sippy cup... as can milk or anythong other than water, simply bcause a few drops can pool in the mouth.

Anyhoo - our sitter gets paid for the amount of week days in a month. Period.

jcc64 replied: Just to let you know of my arrangements with my dcp-
She comes to my house, and watches only my dd, along with her own 2, so by its nature it's a casual arrangement. And yet, I offer her 3 weeks paid vacations a year (which she takes when I take mine), all holidays are paid, any time I cancel, I pay her regardless. I had planned on offering her some kind of compensation for health insurance, but b/c I have not gotten a raise myself in 5 yrs (!), have been unable to do so yet. I think dcp's are sorely underpaid and undervalued, and I believe everyone should pay as much as she possibly can, and treat it like the serious occupation that it is.

My2Beauties replied: We pay our dcp whether or not she keeps Hanna for a day. If I take off work and want her all day I still pay my dcp. If Hanna visits my dad for an entire week in Alabama, we still pay our dcp! It's common courtesy and what I would have to do if Hanna was in daycare anyways - so I think this woman is insanely rude. I think you should just tell her you cannot continue to keep her child that you have decided that you want to stop babysitting all together and then find another family that is more reliable.

Oh and the Pepsi thing, I can see every now and again a Pepsi here or there, Hanna probably has a half a Pepsi a day because when we drink them she picks ours up and drinks them I know I know bad...but she also has anywhere from 3-5 cups of milk and a cup of water, I give her juice mainly 2-3 times a week because she doesn't care for it at all, but I want her to drink it for the Vitamin C and stuff in it. Pepsi all day everyday for a small child is detrimental to their health. They aren't taking in anything nutritious at all. You know, when Desiree's cousin Dylan was younger, his dcp was giving him tea all day without the mom knowing and his baby teeth literally rotted out and he had to have thousands of dollars worth of dental work done to his teeth and gums so his permanent teeth weren't affected. I would let the mother know this honestly and if you do continue to watch him just give him more juice and even soy milk, she'd probably never know. I would!

3_call_me_mama replied:
Thank you Jeanne. The world needs more daycare parents liek you!!! I watch a little one art home and they pay wether she's here or not. They also pay 2 weeks vacation, all holidays and 3 sick days for me. So not too bad. 1 week 1 take whenever I want (like when we went to FL) and the other I take to coincide with their vacation.
HUGS Jeanie~ you will find a better family that will be good to you and be a great fit for your kids

jacobsmama replied: wow that is terrible how she is treating you and her son!!! You just dont give a child pop like that especially in a sippy cup and that hour in the AM....What a nut case...For the childs sake he needs you just because you may be the only chance he has at a normal type day or life but maybe reporting her would be the best thing to do because she obviously doesn't care that much about her son to treat him that way..that poor child...

And poor you!! how rude she is..You have every right to be mad and tell her to forget it and find another family who needs your great service!

CantWait replied: I'm not going to repeat what's already been said, because they're good points, but how about Calcium enriched orange juice. Tropicana has some out, as well as another brand if I'm not mistaken??And brushing afterwards??

kimberley replied: oh my! i am sorry this isn't working out for you. the parents sound a lot like the boy i was watching. she also just "disappeared" on me . hang in there hon. you know you are a wonderful caregiver and the majority of families out there are decent.. you just got a bad apple this time. i hope you find another child with wonderful parents.

mammag replied: Thanks for the all the info guys! I'm going to have to redo my contract I think...

I always feel bad to charge for vacation but, hey, it is my job....

I'm thinking I'll keep her...if she comes back....until after Christmas and then give her a 2 week notice. I don't get paid enough to deal with this stress.

amymom replied: Good Luck with this.

kit_kats_mom replied: I pay my DCP weather I bring my kid or not. She gets two weeks paid vacation per year and I get 7 day's per year that I don't have to pay for (sick, vacation whatever). My DCP also has a rule in her contract that states that there is a two week "work-in" period during which the relationship is checked out. If she doesn't get along with a kid, if the kid doesn't fit the situation in the home, whatever, she will drop him during that two week period. She's having a hard time with some of the parents too though. There are three of us who she loves & who's kids she loves but the last slot has been filled with freaks lately. The current lady (who's two kids are actually pretty good) is a wierdo who called last week to say she would be late because she got into a wreck. DCP had an appointment so she said she'd drop the kids off at their home with dad. Dad answered the door and said "no accident, she just ran behind at work". DCP is totally annoyed by the parents who leave their kids late & by those whos priorities are just screwy. One parent used to drop her kids off from 8 till 6pm while she laid by the pool. Hua? Anyway, I get what you are saying but if I were you, I'd revise my contract. Frankly, there is wiggle room if you choose to offer it but at least new parents would know what to expect. For example, my DCP has a $5 per 5 mins late pick up fee. I always show up with it but she has yet to take it from me.

MommyToAshley replied:
I agree... she obviously didn't understand what the dentist was saying. Could someone really think that pepsi is better for a child than 100% juice?

I am sorry that she is so unreliable, but at least you are finding out early on and can look for another child/family. It sounds like you have gotten some great suggestions though.