Mini DH vent

coasterqueen wrote: Each grocery week (every other week) I've been trying very hard to cut corners and save a bit of money because bills seem to be popping up here and there and since it's fall propane bills are SKY HIGH Well I thought I did pretty good this week and I emailed DH earlier today with my receipts and asked him to let me know if I was "under budget". He said "money depresses me right now so I've decided not to think about it anymore. If we spend it...we'll make more". WTF?????

He's peevin' me off! Why is it sometimes when you get in a bind the men decide to be very childish!?!?!

Lollie replied: UUUUGGGGHHHH!!! I know what you mean!!!

My hubby pissed me off the other day!!He knows that we have to start budgeting and spenind our money wisely now especially with another baby on the way...and he goes and buys a freakin MP3 player for the car!!!!WTF with that!!!!Men just piss me off sometimes....

You need to take him over your knee and whip his ass!!!

Kaitlin'smom replied: sorry you have that frustration, I do the bills so I know where the money goes, DH gets so much per check if he needs/wants more he has to ask, or sell stuff on e-bay to pay for what ever it is he wants.

MomofJandB replied: I can relate! Everytime I want to talk about budgeting better, my DH says ok, your right, but nothing changes! I need to take his ATM card and cut it up!!

coasterqueen replied:
Yeah see I was in charge of the finances a long long time ago, but I got a bit too carried away and am glad I'm not in charge of them now. I just think he's being childish about being so depressed about our finances. Ignoring it isn't going to solve anything.

kimberley replied: i won't even go there just wanted to give you (((hugs))) and sympathy.

5littleladies replied: I know the feeling. My Dh tends to just let everything go and then when he finally gets around to the bills we are hopelessly behind. Even then he just says "Everything is fine". I've given up trying to figure out what the heck he is doing and just save where I can.

due_any_day replied: my DH still has a video game problem and last month he bought a used x-box and several games knowing full well we still needed to buy a few things for maggie.
i let it slide until last week when i had a really s***ty cold and it took me ten tries to get his attention. Some game called Fable was distracting him. Lets just say its really hard to play games when there are no cables, controllers or games anywhere and all you're stuck with is a useless box of wires. *evil grin* my next door neighbor has them hidden for me

seriously though. i really do not understand men. they seem to put importance on the wrong things when they get nervous about stuff.

i think god wired them wrong to frustrate us sometimes.

My2Beauties replied: Brian gets in a really bad mood when we are broke! I admit I have a problem with my finances, I try very hard to budget and spend my money wisely but it just seems to dissapear! I know what you mean about men acting silly when it comes to money! Like last night since Brian has some extra money on him, which he should save for our wedding, birthdays Christmas etc...he goes out to the store and buys $40 worth of Pick 3 Lottery Tickets and they were losers!!!

booey2 replied: Hugs to you, I can totally relate. DH does all the budget stuff in our house and a while back he said he was stressed about our financial state of affairs when I came home from shopping and had spent $160 instead of being closer to $100.(I shop every week) Then he goes out the next day and gets us a digital camera because of the great deal that was going on at the time. I just don't understand him, first complaining about being short of $$ then going out and buying the camera. Oh well I love him anyway.

redchief replied: A little reply from the DH side. I take care of the electronic bill paying and my wife takes care of the paper payments. It keeps us both involved and knowledgeable about current financial states. I recently had to take a loan on my retirement to pay for startup for TWO daughters into orthodontics. I HATED doing that, but the cash just wasn't there. Along with that we're facing a needed major renovation of our 90 year old home (*sigh* what else broke today?).

At one point in our 21 years together I handled all of the bills. Then Lisa handled all of the bills. That never worked because the other never really understood what the current state was. Doing them all together makes it easier at least for the two of us to understand the current financial situation. That's not to say we still don't have problems balancing the budget, and our priority arguments can be quite colorful. But at least this way we understand what's going on. Still I have to work two full time jobs. Sometimes I'm so tired it's hard to move, and depression is definitely a concern.

A&A'smommy replied: oh goodness.... I'm sorry men can be very aggravating sometimes! (((HUGS))))

MommyToAshley replied:
LOL! Thanks for the laugh.

DH and I both make decisions on budgeting and spending, but he physically pays the personal bills. I do the billing for the company, he does the personal bills. It's worked out ok for us.

KatieLeigh79 replied: DH tells me "it grows on trees" and goes and buys things to the point that I have no control anymore... a few days ago he locked me out of the Money software supposedly "on accident" and has yet to repermission me to get into it (rather sad with the IT/MIS stuff he does his computer is Fort Knox and I could never get into it myself)... scares me though as when I have control I can see where it goes and put a stop to the unneeded spending but this has happened before and when I got it back we were so close to in the red I had to start finding things of mine to get rid of on Ebay to keep us a float that month... so tonight I'm demanding it back and if it is that low again I'm not sure what I will do... his parents are very well off, mine worked hard for everything they had - and now that it's just my dad he sees and realizes it's hard to budget (never did it mom always did) so to me it is a scary thing as I know people are supposed to have a 6 month "cushion" in case of accidents or job loss or something but heck when I have no control (like at this moment) I just pray we don't overdraft before next month!

okay done venting... I just don't know how he can be so childish with our finances as well, and he thinks we need a #2 baby, I told him if I can't keep a "floor" in both accounts we don't need anything period!

Kaitlin'smom replied:
sorry DH would be the same way thats why he does nto do the finances, he told me when we were enganged and moved in together you have to pay the bills I am not allowed to have a checking account He has gotten ALOT beeter over the years but I still dont want him to have to pay this bills

Boys r us replied: I'm sorry! men can be a pain when it comes to money! We divide up the bills and we each pay the bills we're responsible for out of our single accounts, then a set amount goes into our joint checking/savings from each paycheck. this works out great for us. When it comes to big purchases, we consult one another no matter WHERE the money is coming from..even if it is "our own money" in our single accounts. Anything over $300 has to be mutually agree on! I find that I stick to this well, but Rick has some issues with buying big things, stupid big things, without talking to me first!

coasterqueen replied:
Hee hee we've tried everything. We've tried seperate accounts, he paying some and me paying some etc. We both know where the money goes, etc. It's not that he's not good about doing it it's just that when money is tight he acts like a baby instead of trying to find a way to resolve the issue.

Boys r us replied: Yeah!! I know..I guess though the way I look at it is sort of selfishly, if his money is tight, then it's his problem!! Not Mine!
Now if my money is tight, then it's his problem too!!! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

coasterqueen replied:
OMG you CAN'T make a pg woman pee her pants!!!!

DansMom replied: I handle all of the finances and bill paying, and I do all of the tax form preparation. I'd love to have some help, but because DH spent a lifetime as a single jazz musician ignoring creditors and the IRS, he lacks the skill set or motivation to be reassuringly competent in financial matters. I do the bills on software, while DH can't touch type and is intimidated by computers. Even pull-down menus alarm him. I know I make him sound like a dinosaur! He's a fabulous, patient, loving, teaching father and a brilliant musician. He does most of the housework and all of the yardwork. But he can't balance a checkbook!

kit_kats_mom replied: Boy do I know what you mean. I handle the finances but I print out a cash balance sheet and our goal budget each month and we go over it together to see where cuts need to be made, where we went over etc. I want him to know what is going on because I'd hate to feel like he doesn't trust me. In fact, I'd welcome him taking it over but he just doesn't have the time.

We actually had our first real argument last weekend and it was over something stupid but it boiled down to money. I had commented the month before, that sodas/speciality waters etc were something that I'd like to try to cut out of our grocery budget. he didnt' say anything at the time but last weekend I came home from Walmart with 1, 38cent bottle of flavored water and he lost it! Well, he didn't lose it but he did make a few pretty obnoxious comments. He's never spoken to me like that so I was really upset. He finally calmed down & apologized when I told him that a) I only bought it because I had such awful heartburn in the store and I purchased it with my $15/week spending money, seperate from the groceries because I'd also wanted a magazine and I didnt' think that should be paid for from our grocery money either since it was pretty frivolous.

Money is such a loaded subject. I try not to harp on it or make comments when he comes home with a new magazine subscription, toy or whatever. He's a big boy and if we continually go over our goal and he sees that each month, he will figure out what changes need to be made. It is hard to keep my mouth shut sometimes though. And I really dislike the fact that I had to ask him if he agreed to let me spend $40 from our household budget for a strapless bra to wear with a semi-formal dress for a wedding this month. I understand the necessity of it but I don't like it. LOL

redchief replied: Hmmm... what a novel idea; cutting into a budget that's in the red. I'll have to try that some time.

Seriously, I wish I were that good at budgeting. It scares me at the end of the year to look at our balance sheet, let alone do it monthly. Good for all of you who take budgeting seriously!!!

My2Beauties replied:
I like your style!

My philosophy: What's your is mine and what's mine is mine!!!!! HA HA HA!

Maddie&EthansMom replied:

That's us! He will never tell me when there is a problem b/c he doesn't want me to worry. I spend my usual money and he never says when to cut back, etc. It is frustrating. Lately he has been WAY too busy to deal with it all and we don't pay the bills until they are cut off (water, electricity, cable, phone). We HAVE the money there...he just isn't paying attention. Twice in the past 6 months I have had to crawl through the window b/c the electricity has been cut off when I left the house and I couldn't get in with the garage door opener. True you would think after the first time I would have a dang house key!

Anyway, I have been BEGGING him for a budget for the past 5 years. I give up.