My Child was ruffed up by teacher

T&MsMom wrote: My 4 year old doesn't sit still plus she is supper sensitive. She has a problem following directions but she wants to do every extra-curricular activity under the sun. Today in gymnastics class she was continuously practicing her cartwheels even at the time when she was standing in line. The teacher asked her to stop. She stopped for a bit and started again. The 2nd time the teacher got really close to her face, and even though I couldn’t hear I could see, was very angry with her. My daughter started to cry, but the teacher let her take her turn so she calmed down. The 3rd time she was doing her cartwheels while waiting for her turn the teacher told her to leave and my daughter started crying and set on the floor. The teacher proceeded to take my daughter by her shoulders and shake her and this made my daughter scream and cry louder and she than picked her up by her wrists and swung her back and forth before placing her on the floor and pointing over at me and than at my daughter (in a come and get her gesture). I was in shock but already out of my seat to get my daughter. When I came into the studio the teacher told me that my daughter was a danger to the other children and to get her out of their.

Mothers, please tell me what you would’ve done in such a situation. I am terribly hurt and confused. The other mothers who watched it happen just looked like they were in shock about what happened but didn’t say anything to me.

Is a sensitive 4 year old who doesn’t sit still such an anomaly?

luvbug00 replied: That's horrible I'm sorry that she had to go threw that!! I'd report that teacher to anyone who will listen.

Mommy2BAK replied: I agree with what Nadia said. That teacher had no right to treat your daughter that way, I would be very upset.

ilovemybaby replied: OMG That's awful! Just because she was doing cartwheels in line? How is she a danger to the other kids? No teacher should ruff up a child. No matter how naughty they are being. It's just not something that should be ok.

I agree with Nadia. You should complain.

jenn3 replied: OMG Thats awful!

gr33n3y3z replied: OMG that is so wrong of that teacher to do that to your child.
I know why the teacher is so strict and wants them to stay put in line until its her turn bc she doesnt want her to get hurt or hurt any other child while playing in line when she should be standing and watching and listening.
But thats what gymnastics is about listening and paying attension that what its all about.
BUT

Gymnastics is a very serious sport and ppl. and kids can die from it and they have.

My daughter was in gymnastics for 9 years and went to states 8 times and she is a level 8 gymnast.

You may want to concider enrolling her in to another gymnastics school bc that teacher had no business touching her like that at all.
Did you speak to the owner and let them know what went on? If not i would do it bc that is a huge problem there and she shouldnt be teaching if she cant handle it.

I hope everything works out for you and your daughter I just hope that nasty teacher didnt ruin a good thing with your daughter.

Keep us posted on this

T&MsMom replied: Thank ya all for responding and sympathizing. I have tried and will continue to try to do something. The owner wasn't there and I tried to get the receptionist to call the owner but she insisted that she would relay the message. My husband came to try to get the receptionist to see that it is an urgent situation and to make sure she calls the owner. He than spoke to the teacher and she blatantly lied to him and told him she simply picked my daughter up because she thought she was going to fall off of the platform. When my husband told me this I walked back into the building to speak to the teacher myself because I didn't think she would be able to lie to my face but the receptionist wouldn't let me talk to her because she was teaching a class. My husband and I decided to call the police. He took my daughter home at that time because we were trying to play down the situation to her and I didn't want her to know the police were involved. When the police officer came I made the report and he wanted to know if I wanted to file charges. I told him I simply wanted to talk to the owner to find out more about this teacher and what made her go off like that (I want to give people the benefit of the daught, you never know what is going on in a persons life) and I want an apoligy to my daughter and myself. The police officer came back out and relayed to me that the receptionist wanted him to wait 10 minutes till the class is over and that he couldn't do that. He gave her his card and instructed that the teacher is to call him when class is over. The officer said that he will be in touch with me but that my first priority is to get in touch with the owner. Which, as I have stated before, I have tried to do. I will keep trying but it breaks my heart, my daughter keeps asking if she is going back to gymnastics class next week and I don't know what to tell her.

luvbug00 replied: Tell her she did nothing wrong but be her sweet self and sometimes people don't think before they act. poor darling!!


Good for you calling the cops!

Mommy2BAK replied: sounds like that teacher and receptionist are trying to cover up what was done, but unfortunately for her lying waysyou saw what happened.

ilovemybaby replied: I used to do Gymnastics too and it is a dangerous sport. But nothing gives anyone the right to touch a child that way. You just don't grab a child by the arms and shake them.
I feel for your daughter. I hope she is ok and that she gets to continue doing Gymnastics. Even if you have to find a different school.
Don't let it slide. Make sure the cop does talk to the teacher.
I don't know what it's like in the US but the police here are pretty useless at following up on things.
My partner was assaulted by a guy once and he laid charges and made a statement and we NEVER heard back. I know they are busy (my dad is an ex cop) but that's no excuse. Sometimes you just have to call them back and find out what is going on even if you have to do it more than once.

redchief replied: I have a question... Did anyone outside your family and the gym staff see what occured? If someone did (and someone almost always does), ask if that person will be present when you do get to speak with the owner of the gym.

mom21kid2dogs replied: You might look for a program that offers an open gym format of instruction or private lessons as opposed to a more formal class setting. They seem to be more user friendly for the child who has difficulty with standing still & listening issues. The instructor handled the situation poorly, obviously, but what your daughter was doing can't happen in formal gymnastics classes, even for the younger group. If you want to continue with this sport in a class format, you might consider giving your daughter a one strike and you're out rule. If she recieves a verbal warning from the insrutuctor and repeats the infraction YOU reserve the right to remove her from class. If she can't do that she might simply be not emotionally ready for the sport. No big, she can try again in 6 mo or so. I don't think short attention spans in 4 yr olds are an anomally at all. A different class structure, though, might be a better fit given the situation you describe.

MyLuvBugs replied: OMG!! Press charges against that teacher. I'm serious!! That is NO way to treat a 4 year old. I don't care who you are. You DO NOT grab a child and shake them like that. Unbelievable!!

Honestly, if it was me, and that had been my child, I think I would have run in there and punched the woman in the face. I'm not big on violence, but NO ONE hurts my child!! NO ONE!! I don't care if my child is "sensitive", that is a form of abuse!!

You have witnesses, and in my opinion that is abuse to your child. You have every right to get a lawyer and press charges against her. A GOOD teacher knows to NEVER grab a child like that. (I come from a VERY long line of teachers, so I've heard it all from them.) If the teacher had a problem with the way your child was acting, she should have just said you need to go over to the corner and sit down you've lost your turn for not listening.

You totally have my sympathies sweetie.

MyLuvBugs replied:
Are you kidding me?!?!? What kind of power does this receptionist have over a police officer? Holy crap! And the teacher LIED to your husband. WTH? Oh girl, keep fighting it, and see if you can get some of the other mothers to back you up. Press charges, don't give this woman the benefit of the dought. Wow! It totally sounds like they're giving you the run around. I'd definately press charges and get my daughter into a different gymnastics school.
You keep us posted, and you can vent to us anytime you want. Ok?

T&MsMom replied: Thank you all so much for your views and opinions. I didn't know where to go with my emotions. I am so happy I found this board. I don't know what I will do yet. I will wait to talk to the owner and to the officer again. In a way I feel obligated to do something about it so it never happens again with another student and than I think I just want this horrible feeling to go away and forget about it. My daughter went to bad on the grumpy side but had no trouble falling asleeep so I hope that it is a good sign that for her it is all in the past. I will keep you all posted.


"mom21kid2dogs" - I hear what you are saying and I value your opinion but my daughter was being way less of a danger to herself and to the children around her than any child playing on the playground. Some children are more challenging but no less capable than others. Does that mean we should find "special" classes for all energetic children and keep them away from the subdued children? I thought activities such as gymnastics, dance, karate, etc. are the activities that most parents use as a healthy out for their toddlers and preschoolers tremendous energy. I can only speek for myslef but I didn't send my 4 yr old child to gymnastics boot camp and expect her to be in the 2012 Summer Olympics. Who knows if this is something she will want to do a year from now, let alone a week from now. I only wanted her to explore all the wonderful ways her energy could be used towards. My child has been in a daycare (preschool) facility for 2 1/2 years and I have had no complaints. This is because a good teacher finds a way to reach every student.

Thanks for listening!

holley79 replied: I use to work in a day care center and all the 4 year olds that I can remember had a tough time sitting still. Heck I'm 26 and can't stand in line without doing something. I would defiantly talk to some about the situation, as to not have it happen again. The teacher had no right now "lay hands" on the child. If there was a problem, the teacher should have come to YOU and spoke to YOU about it and allowed YOU to take care of the matter. For the cartwheels in line, Ic an see where accidently she may kick another child but other then that oh well. WE all survived our nicks and bruises growing up and so will they. JMHO

to you.

ammommy replied:
I don't think that was what she was saying at all (sorry for butting in here). I know that where I send my child for gymnastics there are different levels and styles taught. Some are serious classes geared toward learning the finer points of gymnastics and some are much more recreational. I think that she said that maybe your daughter would benefit from a more recreational setting.

HOWEVER, the teacher was completely in the wrong here. I would seriously consider pressing charges if for no other reason than to get the seriousness of the situation across to the teacher, receptionist, and owner. I'm glad your daughter seems to have shaken it off. Kids are really resiliant, aren't they?

holley79 replied: I use to work in a day care center and all the 4 year olds that I can remember had a tough time sitting still. Heck I'm 26 and can't stand in line without doing something. I would defiantly talk to someone about the situation, as to not have it happen again. The teacher had no right now "lay hands" on the child. If there was a problem, the teacher should have come to YOU and spoke to YOU about it and allowed YOU to take care of the matter. For the cartwheels in line, I can see where accidently she may kick another child but other then that oh well. WE all survived our nicks and bruises growing up and so will they. JMHO I can not believe that the police officer just left like that. I would not stop with contacting Law Enforcement. I would contact DCF. Let them know about the situation also. Don't let it go.

to you.

3'smom replied: If someone would have shool my child I would be the one having the cops called on me. But I usually act first! lol

mom21kid2dogs replied:
Thanks! That was exactally the point I was trying to get across. My daughter just started in gymnastics but I totally see the danger in the situation as described. The ratio in our class is a 6-8 kid to 1 adult. Actually, my concern wasn't for the kids in line being kicked, it was for the kid on a platform, bars or beam who could easily misstep and fall while the teacher is distracted by dealing with another child.
4 year olds have a wide range of attention spans and most centers (we go to a YMCA program) have a large variety of offerings. I was simply suggesting that open gym gymnastics classes wouldn't require her to stand in line~she could be as active as she wants to be. Sorry it wasn't clear enough to get my point across well.

No one would ever describe my daughter as subduded~she is quite the opposite, in fact. But she, suprisingly, waits well in the line for her turn. It's not a skill of subduded vs. active children, likely more her personality.

DansMom replied: Ask for a full refund in writing and detail the reasons why, and send it addressed to the owner by certified mail. Hopefully the owner will stop ignoring you and the situation if you do. That teacher is a teacher of gymnastics but not a teacher of children---she obviously doesn't have the personal resources or childhood education to manage her group appropriately.

T&MsMom replied: I got in touch with the owner. She was very cold and uncaring. I told her what happened and she told me the teacher and the assistant teacher had a different story and she wouldn't elaborate. I told her the assistant teacher was with another group and wasn't witness to it but that other parents did witness it, I however don't know any of these parents, this was only like the 4th class. I told her I wanted sometype of explanation with apology to my daughter and I and sometype of reassurance from her and the teacher that something like this would never happen again. She told me that her facility is not the write one for my child and that she would be sending me a refund check. I am distraught and baffled that something like this could happen. My daughter will be heartbroken. I just feel horrible.

MyLuvBugs replied:
I am right there with you!!

MyLuvBugs replied:
Ya know what else you could do. You could go to your local newspaper, and see if they might be interested in a story about abusive teachers in the area. Explain your story and explain how NO ONE seems willing to help or repremand this teach. This type of story will not only bring the matter to the public eye, but it will hopefully bring out some of those parents that witnessed the situation so they can back you up.

Also, press charges. I know I keep saying it over and over again, but seriously. Contact the police officer you spoke to yesterday and say you've changed your mind that you'd like to press charges since the owner doesn't seem to be willing to do anything about the situation.

Definately find a different gymnastics academy for your child though. OBVIOUSLY, that was isn't right for you. It's not that your baby isn't right for them, THEY aren't right for you.

luvbug00 replied: I agree I'd press charges!! Immidiately.

T&MsMom replied: Thanks for all your advice. I will contact the police officer tommorrow. I don't know if I will press charges but I know I will feel horrible and not forgive myself if I don't do anything and something worse happens to another child. I just want to get back to our family norm. My daughter wanted to know if she will go to gymnatics again and I told that she can't go back to the one she was at but that we will find a new one when she is ready. She said "because she doesn't like me?". I said, "who?" She said, "the lady". I asked, "the teacher" and she said "yes". I told her her again that the teacher shouldn't have upset her like that and that if the teacher got to know her she would love her like everyone else does but that she needs to listen better and when she does that we will find her an even better gymnastics school.

MyLuvBugs replied: Such a good mommy! That was a great answer to her. Good job, and I hope that it all goes better for you.