NIP Poll

cameragirl21 wrote: Ok, so I was at Whole Foods and I saw this woman walking to check out and she had her blouse open, one boob completely hanging out and a child nursing on it. The child appeared to be about 1 year old.
This is not to debate NIP but I personally am not a fan, mainly because I didn't like the way people were staring at her and would like it even less if they stared that way at me. I am not super modest in general but would not want to be the subject of all the icy stares and shocked, jaws on the ground looks...apparently the WF crowd didn't find her to be aesthetically appealing.
I go to WF often and many of the employees and managers there know me fairly well. Several told me that this woman always does that and the peeps who work at WF expect this from her.
I have no problem with NIP in general as it is other women's right to do so but I guess I find it to be more appropriate in a quiet corner or even at a table (like perhaps in a restaurant) but the idea of walking around with a boob hanging out and attempting to both control a nursing baby and do your shopping all with one free hand seems a bit much. I also imagine that a baby is on a fairly regular nursing schedule and have to wonder why she chooses to go to WF when it's the baby's time to eat.
Just curious--would you walk around a grocery store NIP? Feel free to comment if you wish.

luvbug00 replied: Oh this can go so bad, so fast. LOL
Imo we can't stop living because we gotta eat. We walk around with burgers. A boob is a babies burger.

That being said. I personally was raised as boob being sexual objects. Therefore NIP makes me very very uncomfortable.
I wanted to try to nurse Mya. Not only didn't it work medically (she didn't gain weight fast enough) so I stopped. It was also very uncomfortable on a personal level.
That being said I appreciate the blanket coverage.
I think how u were raised greatly effects ones feelings. Mya has been more open to nudity because I make the body a natural thing. I hope she breast feeds one day if possible. But she now sees a feeding mom she doesn't mind, no matter how much u can see.

PrairieMom replied: I support NIP, but I also would appreciate some discretion. I voted that I would walk around a store nursing if I could, but cover up. They make slings that are designed so you can walk around and nurse. I never got the hang of it, and it never came up. I always just pulled up a table or chair somewhere, turned my back to the majority of people and tried to be as discrete as possible. When I was nursing, I nursed everywhere.

~Roo'sMama~ replied:
This. I always covered up if I was nursing in public. I don't mind if I see someone nursing and not using a blanket if they're using their shirt to cover up a little, and I don't think anyone should have to go sit in a corner somewhere if they don't want to (I always wanted to sit somewhere quiet, but that was for my own comfort and not so I wouldn't bother anyone ) but just letting it hang out without trying to cover up even at all is a little much, and just not necessary. I think some people do it that way just to exercise their right to do it.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: Obviously I am a big nursing advocate (as I type this laying down with my nursing 22 month old-lol!) but that I think is taking it a bit overboard! There are multiple companies that make very chic nursing covers, slings, and wraps that can be used....I think when done discreetly a woman has every right to nurse in public (not in a corner or public bathroom) but not with no reguard to the comfort and personal space of anyone around her! An exposed breast for nursing is still an exposed breast! Lol!

punkeemunkee'smom replied: I forgot to say that she must be one talented momma to be walking around and pushing a cart and nursing a baby in tandem! I am definately not that talented!!! Haha

my2monkeyboys replied: I have tried nursing while pushing a buggy - VERY hard! LOL I have nursed about everywhere there is to nurse, but I always had something covering me for the most part. Not to say no one ever got a peek, bc Waylon went through a phase of yanking the cover off at just the right moment. But I didn't walk around with it hanging out. I think breasts are sexual as well as a tool for feeding, so I think NIP should be legal, but a boob hanging out should not be, whether there is a baby or a pasty stuck to the end of it.

msoulz replied:

PASTY???

LOL!

I agree with what is being said. I avoided NIP because I am me, but when I had to I had a blanket.

my2monkeyboys replied: Yeah, you know the star/heart/etc that strippers put on their nipples to keep from being 'nude in clubs that are in cities that ban nudity.

CantWait replied:
This as well. With Anthony I use to nurse him in his carrier sittin up, but covered with grocery shopping. I always try and be discrete.

msoulz replied:
OH, LOL!!! I was thinking those things that look like meat pies!! No wonder I was so confused!!!

coasterqueen replied: I nursed in public discretely as I could, but sometimes babies take away that discretion with a quick yank. Otherwise, I always tried to cover up my breast, but not always with a blanket. I wasn't about to have my child under a blanket all the time suffocating while trying to nurse. I have no problem and do not frown upon ANYONE who chooses not to cover up, though. That is their business, not mine. I don't have to look. If my children ask, I'll tell them why she's not covered up, but thankfully when they do see it, it's so natural to them they don't have to ask. My aunt used to nurse her kids in front of us, we got the entire show, didn't bother me and I never looked down on her for doing so. Matter of fact I commend her for not having the issue of feeling like she had to cover up. The breast was meant to feed, not meant for sex. We humans turned it in to that, so we have to DEAL, imo.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
There are also meat pie things called pasties as well! LOL You see them everywhere around here.

I'm with the majority. I am all for NIP and do not frown upon those who do...when baby is hungry, he/she is hungry and needs to eat! However, that doesn't mean I want to see someone else's boobs, or have to explain to my children why some lady's boob is hanging out all over the place. I think it's out of general respect for other people that you cover up when you can. I always did, out of respect for others. I think the respect goes both ways.

jcc64 replied: I'm more in awe of her ability to multi-task than her lack of modesty.
I don't have issues with others who do it. It's food, it's natural, and if other people are staring, it says more about their own issues than it does about the woman's behavior.

mckayleesmom replied: I would rather see a woman nursing in public then see a mother hiding in a bathroom to nurse her baby because she is trying to be super discreet...Who wants to eat in a bathroom?

I'm guilty of being the bathroom mom a couple times until I thought about how gross that was... .

boyohboyohboy replied:
I agree with this!

I don't want to see other womens boobs, but I don't think they should hide away to feed their babies either. I always had a cover.

cameragirl21 replied: I just want to state for the record that when I said "in a corner" I did not mean banished to some remote, dark corner. In WF, there is a eat in area and the corner seats are sort of like booths and I imagine that is an ideal place to nurse, not because doing it anywhere else is offensive to anyone but rather because it's a nice, quiet corner where you can relax. And I'd never advocate nursing in a public bathroom, ever.
I have to say, I've gone topless at our topless beach here at South Beach many times, I am not a prude by any means but the way I see it, there is a difference between being topless at a topless beach and walking around a grocery store with a boob hanging out. I have no idea how she manages to hold on to the child, push the shopping cart, do her shopping and then pay for everything while nursing with a boob hanging out, the whole scene just looked like some sort of fantasyland to me, which is why I asked about it here.
The fact that employees of WF said that she always does that tells me she must get some sort of bizarre kick out of doing this, Idk if she likes the attention or gets off on the fact that no one can stop her or what but I forget what I needed to buy at the grocery store half the time just by myself...can't even imagine trying to do all that while nursing so openly and having everyone around me stare at me as if I've just grown a third boob.
Idk, I just thought she was doing that sort of to make a statement, I mean, I am sure her baby needed to eat and he can't be kept hungry because she needs to buy groceries but I just can't imagine that he ALWAYS has to eat when she goes to WF. So that's why I asked, I thought maybe this is more "normal" than I thought but judging by the reaction of others to this woman, along with the responses here, I'm guessing not....

youngmomofone replied: I have no problem with NIP it's not something I would do like the woman in the op. I think if I had a cover up I would do it, but I wouldnt just whip the girls out and let the baby have it

A&A'smommy replied:
You go girl!!

I'm all for breastfeeding in public, but I also believe in modesty!

jcc64 replied:

Huh, I guess I'm kind of puzzled by this one. Exposing a boob in order to feed your kid is somehow creepier or more socially aggressive than walking around topless for....what purpose, exactly?
I don't really get the distinction.

coasterqueen replied:

cameragirl21 replied:
Exposing your boob where it's socially acceptable to do so, like the French Riviera (or our South Beach version of it, lol) vs in the grocery store where it's not socially acceptable to do so for whatever the reason.

ETA--what I mean to say is, I'm not shy to exposing a boob or seeing them exposed but I do feel it's a bit odd to do so where everyone else isn't expecting you to do so and where it's clearly making others uncomfortable. I was at WF yesterday and one of the ladies that works there told me that the WF staff talks about that woman in their version of the "teachers' lounge" all the time...she obviously makes people uncomfortable and it seemed to me that this was intentional. I'm certain I never made anyone uncomfortable at the topless beach here in Miami. And therein lies the distinction.

jcc64 replied:

Maybe you did, who knows. And who cares. You can't live your life worrying about what everyone else thinks about your choices, right? Though apparently you and the staff at WF seem to spend a substantial amount of time scrutinizing this woman, I doubt she's doing the same. She's living her busy, free-spirited life the way she probably sees fit to do so. I don't see who's being hurt here. If the sight of a woman feeding her kid is disturbing, duck down another aisle until she's out of your sight line. Easy problem to avoid, imo.
As for the employees, as much as they "complain", she's probably a welcome distraction from the boredom of the job. And I doubt they really believe they're being irrevocably harmed by her presence. In fact, if she STOPPED coming in, they'd probably miss her. Who/what else would they talk about?
I guess what unsettles me most is the fact that so many seemingly "enlightened" men and especially women, can accept exposed breasts (like on a nude beach or in porn) as long as they remain in their "rightful" role as well tanned, well oiled sexual objects, but heaven forbid they are exposed for what is the primary reason for their existence: nourishment of our children. MASSIVE double standard, and a sad commentary on our priorities as a culture.

coasterqueen replied: I'm sorry but I will NEVER understand how ANY woman seeing another woman's breast would make them feel uncomfortable. That's just absurd to me. We all have the same freakin' body parts people, how on earth can it shock you to see another person's breast? As far as explaining it to your children, well I guess I don't have an issue with this because I nursed my girls and so they saw it then, they see family and friends do it and so it's MOTHER NATURE to them. It's what GOD intended for them to be for, and thankfully they know that. I do believe in discretion as much as possible, but seriously, I think society just takes it all a little too far. Guess what? I don't like to see people bend over with low rise boot cut jeans on and their butt cracks showing, but I still have to deal with it as long as society makes those crappy-arse jeans. I gotta explain that crap to my kids too, but hey it's life. I have to explain to them that several kids in their grade have TWO PARENTS OF THE SAME SEX, that's life. Having to explain to your child that someone is not ashamed to nurse openly.......come on..............I think women do the best at destroying society views. I really do.

cameragirl21 replied: ok, my point here is not to villify this woman, I don't know her and the only way I'd ever recognize her again is if I see her doing her usual thing at WF again. Beyond that, with a gun to my head, I'd not be able to pick her out of a lineup.
I was just a bit surprised and was curious if this is the norm or if others are as comfortable doing this all out in the open in a grocery store as she is, that's all.
My point in bringing up the topless beach was only to say that for me personally, this is NOT about being a prude or being offended by seeing a woman's breast but rather, I didn't like the shocked and icy stares she was getting and was just curious how others saw it.
And I did get the impression that she was doing this on purpose to get attention, jmo, of course but let's just say I'm not the only one at WF who thinks so. The way I see it, if she keeps coming back for more, she's got nerves of steel so more power to her if that's the case. But if I choose to go topless, I'd rather do it where it's acceptable and expected, again, JMO.

jcc64 replied: Not to beat an almost dead horse, but why is it that it is "acceptable" to be topless on the beach, but not when you're trying to feed your kid at the grocery store? Why one, and not the other?
Yes, I'm sure she does get stares, b/c she's challenging social norms--but imo, the social norms SHOULD be challenged, and I applaud her for having the courage to do it.
Fwiw, plenty of people glared at Rosa Parks--that didn't make them right.

mummy2girls replied: all i have to say to this is... if you dont like to see then dont look. she had to feed her child, he/she was hungry why should she have to just drop everything go get a chair and feed there? I applaud her for being able to do that and bf at the same time...kill 2 birds with one stone...LOL.

luvbug00 replied: Wha! A topless woman at a topless beach is expected.
A boob in the middle of the store where everyone touches everything. And where u don't expect to see boob...no.

Again I was raised where a boob is sexual. I don't want to see ur boob and if Im looking for things in a store or ur standing next to me shopping with ur boob out I'm going to see it.
(In specificly speaking food store where I'm a sanitation freak)
Totally different..

bluebear replied:

coasterqueen replied:
I was raised thinking the breast was sexual too. I was also raised, though, to be extremely comfortable with my body and not be afraid of it -- i.e. not afraid to get dressed in front of other women, that we all have the same parts, etc. Then I had kids and realized that it was just plain silly to believe the breast was just for sex.

As far as sanitation.......then we can kick out anyone we see who didn't wash their hands before they came into the store and touched food? The mind can go to some really strange places thinking about all the things people touch before they walk into a store to touch food. REALLY! So seriously......!


This isn't directed towards you Nadya, but I find it so incredibly sad that we make other women feel this way. That there are so many women out there who want to empower women to work, to be equal to men, etc, etc, etc, yet we belittle them, look down on them, and think all kinds of things about them -- we are ALL women, we all have breasts, we all have the same parts, yet we just can't see our bodies for that. I just find it incredibly sad and just hope my girls don't grow up being the same way.

coasterqueen replied: And Jennifer, how can you REALLY tell or get the feeling this woman was doing this on purpose? I mean, are you walking around the store following this woman watching her every facial expression??????? I'd be having some pretty strange facial expressions as well if you were following me around.

stella6979 replied: For me, it's not so much about seeing someone's boob, I just think of breastfeeding as a special time for baby/mother and breastfeeding while you're shopping doesn't seem very special to me. I know that when a baby is hungry they need to eat, no matter where you are at, but I do appreciate the discretion. As far as sanitation goes, that never even crossed my mind. I mean, unless she's walking around wiping her breasts all over stuff I don't see how it's unsanitary?

cameragirl21 replied: Karen, I wasn't following her around, I caught one glimpse of her and that was all it took...she is totally in your face, you could see it in her demeanor, the way she carried herself, etc.
Anyway, I really didn't mean for this to turn into what it turned into so I'm sorry I asked.
I agree with Shelly that to me, BF is bonding between mom and baby and I get that babies need to eat when they're hungry but why is this woman always at WF when the baby needs to eat? He wasn't a newborn so I'm sure she should be well aware of his schedule by now.
This is not about empowering, what she's doing is imo a really cheap shot--using her child to basically flip the bird to everyone around her because she knows that it's making people uncomfortable. There is NO reason she can't do this discreetly, she just doesn't want to. She enjoys the attention she gets from doing this and that is what I find distasteful...she's taking something natural and using it for a very unnatural and unsavory purpose.
And I agree that there is a huge difference between a topless woman at a topless beach where it's an expectation and no one goes there expecting to see anything else vs minding your own business at the grocery store and having some in your face woman with her boob hanging out, trying to make a point.
And I wasn't offended by her, I was just surprised at how far she was taking it, that's all. I entertained the idea that maybe there is something more to this than meets the eye so I thought I'd ask...I really didn't mean it to turn into a convo about Rosa Parks (whom I consider to be a hero) and empowering women, etc...to me that is not what this is about at all but that is JMO and I realize that others may see it from an entirely different perspective.
Anyway, that's all I'm going to say about this and I'm sorry I brought it up altogether...everyone is entitled to their opinion and whether we like it or not, every woman is entitled to nurse with her boob hanging out in public so I guess we are all even in this little quandary.

luvbug00 replied: I wouldn't comment to a person on it. Per say.

However I would definitely turn or walk away from the sight.
When I was a competitive dancer we would quick change between performances. At times buck naked in front of a lot of people backstage. Saw tons of boob then but it was so uncomfortable for me.

I don't want to make woman feel shame. I won't say a side remark or force one to cover.

I'm just not comfortable seeing it. In pictures or movies or real life. That's just me.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Yep, that's what I would say too. FWIW, I would also never go to a nude beach or anything of the like, because I don't want to see. lol I get the 'then don't look' theory, but honestly...how would I know not to look if I didn't already see it? lol I'm all for NIP, I just appreciate some common courtesy by covering up a bit...common courtesy goes both ways and covering up is not that much to ask, IMO.

PrairieMom replied:

jcc64 replied:

Maybe for YOU it's not about empowerment--maybe for her it is, or like I said, maybe she's just doing her thing and all of these presumptions you're having are just that...YOUR thoughts, not HERS. You cannot know what's inside her head, unless of course you ask her directly.

I think it's lovely to believe that bf should be confined to precious Hallmark moments, with mom sitting peacefully in a wicker chair, surrounded by roses, gazing serenely into her baby's adoring face. Life doesn't work that way. Sometimes, we use bf to shut our screaming kid up so we can get our shopping done before rushing off to the next "have-to" without annoying everyone in the store with a crying kid, which I'm sure would also be offensive to someone.
My God, I just don't get the vitriol pointed at this woman just b/c her values are different than yours.

cameragirl21 replied: I don't see where I or anyone here expressed any vitriol toward this woman, I just asked if others would do what she did and stated that I thought what she did was odd but it's her right to do so and most everyone else pretty much said that it's her right to do so but that they wouldn't do it themselves.
I have nothing against her...I find her actions odd but I'm sure many people would find my actions odd too so all's fair in love, war, and boobs, I suppose.

msoulz replied:

mckayleesmom replied: I highly doubt this lady sits and thinks to herself...."hmm...my baby is hungry, time to go shopping for attention".......That is just silly. Just because she has been seen nursing her child on more then one occasion in the same store doesn't mean she wants everyone to look at her boobs. Chances are its just coincidence. Some babies get fussy on outings and their whole schedule is out of wack.


Just because you go to a nude beach doesn't mean that everyone enjoys the scenery from every person there running around naked....You might be offending someone if you are not what they were hoping to see too.

Even my 7 and 6 year old could see a nursing mom and not even ask me anything about it...They could probably go to that nude beach and not think anything either,,,except why do all these people think its cool to run around naked...Was a bathing suit that hard to find?

coasterqueen replied:
I completely agree. Special bond? Yeah maybe, because *I* am the one feeding my kid and supplying such a precious gift as breastmilk, but I can't count the times that I didn't feel it was a special hallmark moment. Seriously, anyone who HAS breastfed their children would not say every moment was a hallmark moment. You do what you have to do when you have to do it, plain and simple.

stella6979 replied:
When I said a "special time" between mother and baby I certainly didn't mean sitting in a wicker chair surrounded by roses but if that's how you implied it than so be it. Babies have to eat, I get that, but you can feed your baby without exposing yourself and making others uncomfortable in the process. Plain and simple...cover up. It's really not that difficult.

~Roo'sMama~ replied:
ITA

~Roo'sMama~ replied:
ita with this too.