Natural Birth? - Does everyone feel this way?

stella6979 wrote: So I know this girl who recently had a baby and did it naturally, with no drugs at all. Well ever since, it' like she has this need to mention it to everyone, like she deserves some kind of metal cause she didn't use anything for the pain. Not too mention, she knows I was induced and had an epidural and ended up opting for the section cause I was 2 weeks past due and just tired and anxious, and she's constantly saying how those things aren't "necessary" and that they aren't good for the baby. It wasn't like I didn't try giving birth to my daughter, I waited for 2 days after they induced me and she just wouldn't budge. So my question is...do any of you think the same way? Do some women really think that having a baby naturally should be more respected than a baby that's born by section or with pain meds? For me, I think ANY woman who gives birth is a strong woman, regardless of how it was done.

PrairieMom replied: Personally I had 2 natural births, well, I had a shot of stadol with each, but no epidural and all that. I DO feel like I need to announce it to the world. It kinda made me feel like a super mom. However, its just because i am proud of my accomplishmnet, and would probably be just as proud if I had a "un-natural " ( what ever THAT is) childbirth. KWIM? I would NEVER tell a mother that she did something wrong, or that one way is better than another because every situation is different.

The one thing that irks me a little is when people decide that they are going to have a epidural from the moment of conception, with out even considering possible side effects. I feel people should at least research the options before jumping into things.

stella6979 replied:
Oh I absolutely agree, and me and my husband both read up on it before deciding. Like you said though, every situation is different and I completely understand being proud, but I think ALL moms should be proud after giving birth. I guess it just bothers me that she constantly tells me my daughter's crabby cause I just went in there and got her even though she wasn't "ready".

kimberley replied: she does deserve a medal i have had 4 but only one 100% natural. until you go through it, you won't understand. it takes amazing strength, both mentally and physically to birth naturally.

however, i don't agree that epi's and c-secs are completely unnecessary. some people are unable to birth a child without help and that is okay. so long as they are not using either as a "convenience".. which you clearly were not doing.

mom21kid2dogs replied: How someone gets on this earth is pretty inconsequential to me compared to what you do with your life once you get here! Every mother deserves a medal in my book.

BAC'sMom replied: I had a “natural” birth with my first DS, after 29 hours of labor I swore I would NEVER do that again. With my DD and DS#2 I had epidurals and I delivered them both in 4 hours.

I think it is ultimately your decision.

I like your idea Medals for Everyone.

Kaitlin'smom replied: she probably is very proud of herself and I woudl be also. I sooo did not want the epi, was scared of it but I just could not handle the back labor. I had back problmes before and it made it all the worse It was horrible pain. I also NEVER wanted a c-section but did not have a choise as she was laying on her cord and her heart rate plumited they had to get her OUT. For me I feel jiped and robed of the 'birth' expericene but all that matters now is my daughter is happy and healthy. So yes if I were able to go with out anything at all I woudl probably need a metal. However I woudl not be critizing other who needed certain things to help with the birth.

stella6979 replied:
But shouldn't ALL Moms be proud of themselves after having a baby? Why do some Mothers who deliver naturally feel they deserve more credit? Whether you opt for the drugs or have your belly cut open, having a baby is hard work, no matter which way you slice it.

Kaitlin'smom replied:
I am proud of my daughter, just not so much of the 'birth' experience.

Yes all MOM's should be proud, almost no matter how they have the baby. I do have issues with some but I wont get into that.

skinkybaby replied: Whatever works for you.

I HAD to have an epidural as soon as I was induced (she was 2 weeks past her due date) because I had a heart condition.
Of course, my epidural ran out before it was supposed to causing all sorts of complications during labor. I ended up having to have a c-section, but afterwards when they were transfering me to my gurney my IV came out, my heart went into arrhythmia and I couldn't have any pain meds until my heart started beating normally. Half an hour immediately after surgery with no pain meds is no picnic

My point is, no matter what you do childbirth is a pain in the butt

stella6979 replied:
That's my point as well.
I just get irritated when talking with women and they say things like "well you just had a c-section, you don't know what real pain is". Do they not realize you just had major surgery?

PrairieMom replied:
Ooohhhhh... that would make me want to kick her.

stella6979 replied:
Trust me, that thought has crossed my mind many many times.

luvbug00 replied: I think all moms deserve a metal. To be honest I don't care if someones baby comes out thier nose. All the matters is that everyone is healthy and happy.

skinkybaby replied: Gosh, I couldn't imagine if we had waited until Grace was "ready". She weighed 9 lbs 5 oz, and had no interest whatsoever in making an appearance!

5littleladies replied: I think all mothers have a reason to be proud-regardless of how their baby comes into the world. If a woman gives birth "naturally", kudos to her! She should shout it to the rooftops! But if it turns into "I'm better than you", that's where I have a problem. We all have different situations and no one be made to feel inadequate for it.

Kaitlin'smom replied:
well then tell them lets slice you open get the baby out sew you back yo and then GET OUT OF BED. For emt he first time tirng to get out of bed was WORSE than back labor. I was just not pre-paird for that at all.

mckayleesmom replied:
I would turn to her and say "I disagree...having someone cut through all the muscles in your stomach isn't exactly a piece of cake".

stella6979 replied:
LOL! I like that one. Maybe I'll use it the next time.

Nina J replied: I think all mothers deserve praise for giving birth. It's an amazing accomplishment either way. You successfully created life and bought it into this world, medical assisted, 'naturally' or with drugs, you did it. JMO.

But, I can also understand your friend. She's proud, and so she should be

mckayleesmom replied:
And that comment is why I would find a new friend...She sounds like a toxic friend....Sorry. She sounds like she is making comments on purpose to make you feel bad and IMO when she mentions your daughters personality she has gone too far.


I had 2 c-sections and both my babies were extremely calm and good natured...Despite how out of control they are now as toddlers . So I wouldn't pay attention to that comment...That is just your baby's personality.

stella6979 replied:
Well technically she's not my friend, just an aquaintance. I'm usually a pretty timid person, but if the comments don't stop soon I can't guarantee she'll like what I have to say to her. It's one thing to be proud, I have no problems with that, but when you walk around gloating like you're all high and mighty, that really gets under my skin.

C&K*s Mommie replied:


My choice to have two natural births was strictly my choice. I do not announce it, unless asked. On the flip side, I do feel as though some women expect MAJOR pain, & sike themselves out long before the first labor pang even comes on. Their decision to stave off any pain is made in the beginning of pg, or even pre-pg. I feel that all women are naturally equipped with the ability to cope with temporary physical pain during childbirth. Not all with make that choice to have a natural childbirth, that is perfectly fine. A baby was welcomed into the world, and that is the most precious gift- not in how they were delivered.

On a different subject, I am not discounting women that have c-sections, or are induced. I feel as though in some cases it has gone overboard. (thanks to Aimee {in another post} for helping me to understand that some are more necessary than may be thought) The docs decisions to have their patients have a planned induction in lieu of nature taking its course, is beyond me, sometimes. At times the doctor may be overloaded with pregnant women and cannot possibly be in the L&D room with 4 women at the same time. So planned inductions are necessary. But planning for the heck of it.... just because you want the baby here by a specific date- I disagree with. I agree that women who have gone through c-sections are likely in far more pain, than I was following the births of my girls and for alot longer too. Again, planning a c-section without a valid medical reason is unnecessary.

JMO's.

luvmykids replied: ITA that all moms are hero's and deserve a metal!!! However, having had an epi the first time and natural the second time, I personally did feel like I "got it" and realized after the natural birth how huge the difference really was. After the second one, yeah, I gave myself some extra pats on the back ... It was a different sense of accomplishment than the first one with the epi. Not necessarily "more" just different and I will admit I was pretty darn proud of myself.

Do I look down on others and say "Oh yours didn't count"? Nope. But I'm proud that I did it.

CantWait replied: Well I'm very proud of the fact that I went natural with both my births (except the demerol with one and morphine with the other, which didn't work ).

On the otherhand though, all women deserve props for childbirth, no matter what way they decide or may need to have it.

Don't let someone else's opinion make you feel as if you're less.

C&K*s Mommie replied:

I forgot to say something like that in my post.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Although I didn't go completely drug free natural, I had one shot of antihistamine to help me sleep and only one small dose of Nubain. Which only worked for about 2 hours and I labored for more than 20. However, it was my choice. I respect the hell out of women who go completely drug free, but I also respect the heck out of anyone who has a baby. That is a lot of work no matter how it gets here.

jcc64 replied: I did do two of my births drug free, and I have to admit, I'm pretty proud of the strength I summoned up to accomplish that. However, I don't feel it's necessary to denigrate the choices of others in order to feel good about my decision. It's like your momma always told you- if you feel good about yourself, it doesn't matter what others say or do, and you don't need to put someone else down in order to push yourself up.
I say let it roll off your back, and be happy with your decision if it worked for you.

DansMom replied: Natural childbirth: It was like succesfully completing a marathon---I endured a lot more pain than some people can handle, and I did feel like I deserved a medal, but not a medal of superiority---just for personal achievement. I also still have the urge to talk about my birth experience, until I notice someone's eyes are glazing over. I've never made a big point of telling my story in front of women who recently had a different experience---my little sister, for example, wanted to go natural and changed her mind once labor was underway, ended up with a C-section that she felt very ambivalent about. I totally avoided discussing my own birth experience at family events after that. I think that would be insensitive and come off as competitive. Your friend is being insensitive and judgmental, IMO. You might tell her that, while you admire her achievement, her constantly bringing it up feels judgmental and competitive. Ask her to drop it. She might be unaware that she's rubbing you the wrong way.

Bee_Kay replied:
LOL! I wish I could stay THAT calm

I had 2 Csections. With Ashley, my water broke prematurely, and labor just wouldn't kick in. Her heartrate was dropping so an emergency Csection was ordered.

With Tyler, I lost my mucous plug, water broke.... labored for over 30 hours, but wouldn't dilate past like 6 or so. Pitocin was induced..... OMG I WANTED TO PUSH SO BAD.... but the Dr firmly told me NO NO NO!
It could rip my cervix or harm the baby.

So, after 30-something hours labor, the Dr advised a Csection. I was heartbroken, but he said too much time had passed since my water broke and I was exhausted from the long labor and no sleep.

So, I had a Csection again.

Only ONE time did hear someone make a jack@ss remark about another lady that had a Csection and I came unglued (I tend to do that at times). There had to have been some "f" words used. Needless to say, she shut up right then and there. (The comment was about my DH cousin in labor and her friend that had a csection was her labor coach and someone snidely said "What does she know about childbirth?)

Funny enough, when my best friend had her baby 2 years ago, my and her sister were her labor coaches (he sister had 3 natural births) and Rachel told me later in private that I was a wonderful labor coach.

I would have LOVED to experience the feeling of one or both of my children "coming out", but I am, at least grateful, that when someone talks about being in labor (contractions and the "push" urge).... I know exactly what it feels like.

I put more importance on my pregnancies than the birthing anyways. I LOVED being pregnant..... and I give props to any woman that goes through it..... there is TRULY nothing like it

As far as all of our children.... it doesn't matter HOW they got here.... the importance is that they ARE here

kimberley replied:
omg sorry but i'd opt for birth any day over surgery. the recovery is farrrrrrrrrrrrr harder after a C-sec and it is a challenge to try a VBAC if you have more. that statement is just plain dumb.

i do agree all loving moms deserve to be proud as peacocks

Bee_Kay replied:
ITA!
After a Csection, it hurts to do just about anything "normal"!
The pain is excrutiating to breath, laugh, go "#1 and #2" , hold your baby..... try to get out of bed, ect.

holley79 replied: Medals for Everyone.

To be totally honest I was not there with Kimberly but I am totally in awe with her strength. I don't think I could ever go through natural child birth as she did. I think hers deserves a little extra shine.

I had a pretty easy labor. I did have to have an epi because of back labor. I'm not embarrassed to have had it. Loved it.

I would just ignore her.

Boo&BugsMom replied: I have a great appreciation for woman who can do it naturally, because I am a wimp and a baby and was screaming for drugs as soon as my contractions started with Tanner. I couldn't have imagined pushing an almost 10 pound baby out of my 130 pound frame without the wonderful epidural I got!!! I seriously felt nothing until after the drugs wore off after the birth! I tore A LOT as it was and I wasn't preparred to feel that. I think it's great that more woman are having natural births, but it doesn't mean that it's for everyone and everyone has the right to make their own choice. I would probably tell her, "good for you", but I do understand that her rubbing it in your face, is pretty annoying and not necessary. It would irritate me too and make me feel like I made the wrong choice and like I was this -- small. All moms deserve a medal regardless of HOW their child is brought into this world.

TheOaf66 replied:
I agree with that and not just because it is my wife that said it.

Boo&BugsMom replied: We also must not forget the 9 months of pregnancy...that's not all a piece of cake either.

holley79 replied:
Amen

My2Beauties replied: Shoo honey I had an epi and I'd probably have another one. I am such a wimp when it comes to thinking about that kind of pain, I felt enough pressure as it was even with the epi so I couldn't imagine it without it Kudos to mothers who do it naturally but um....I don't think I could. Your friend is rude IMHO, she should be proud of herself but not rub it in other people's faces!

ashtonsmama replied: I think it's wrong to be cocky about anything, whether it's winning a race or giving birth to a baby naturally, but that IS a huge accomplishment, one that many mothers can't or don't want to try to get through, so she's probably just amazed that she made it and wants to tell the world!

I would be doing the same, but maybe not parading it around, KWIM?

Also, welcome!

Jackie012007 replied: well I had my choice made for me when I told them I had a broken tailbone and they reviewed my x-rays: c-section for me unless by some miracle I'm healed enough to go through a vaginal birth. But I do know my mom had me via c-section and if it weren't for that, I would probably not be alive. I was 2 1/2 weeks late, 10lbs, breech, and I inhaled some meconium that I had "let loose" because I was so overdue!

I'm kinda disappointed about the c-section but I think that would be far better for me and the baby, especially if MY tailbone were re-broken during birth... that would SUCK!

ashtonsmama replied:
I have a close friend that is so small-framed that her baby actually broke her tailbone DURING birth! Poor girl. It's hard to have choices made for you, but the healthy baby and mom outcome is what we all hope for...

Brias3 replied: I completely agree with you. Housing a life within your baby and bringing it into the world is a feat to be proud of, no matter how its done. Everyone is entitled to their own choice and preference during the birthing process, its silly she is making her opinion so known. I know some ladies are really affected by the way in which birth occurs or even whether its vaginal vs. a cesarean. I never felt as though I'd be "less" a person if I didn't give birth naturally or vaginally. No matter how the baby got here, I just always prayed for a healthy child instead of being so overly concerned about the birthing method I had to go through. JMO.

hawkshoe replied: Personally, I had both my boys naturally with no medication. I would have been devistated if I couldn't, but that was my choice. I do tell others and I really think that women should educate themselves more about natural childbirth (I used a midwife). However, I would never tell a woman how she should handle childbirth or that my way was neccesarily better than hers, just that she should know her options and the complications that can result from them.