No Christmas Tree???? - MIL wont put up

bawoodsmall wrote: Please boys and girls tell me if I am being out of line. Every year we have Christmas on New Years Eve at dh's parents. For the first 2 years of Emilys life MIL put up a tree lights the whole bit. Last year she kept saying she was putting it up but never did. She is not planning on putting one up this year either. I said something to dh about maybe we should do it at our house and he almost had a coronary. He thinks I am the only one who cares and that the kids dont care. She has 2 grandkids and one who will be itty bitty. I think she needs a tree. Heck I will go put it up for her. FYI I love love love my inlaws. I dont want to hurt her feelings but come on.

So..... am I being a rag?

CantWait replied: Some people just don't care for the fuss and buss of putting it up and taking it down.

I have contemplated not putting one up this year. It's a mix of money and also the effort for it. DH mentioned it last night (which is odd), so it looks as if we may get one on the weekend.

Really though, if it weren't for the kids, I don't think I'd give a poop this year.

grandma replied: My mother is 85 and she and stepdad drug the tree out of the basement Friday and decorated it over the weekend. She loves Christmas too, but does it for the most part for her great grandkids, she only has three in MI. Plus she had hip surgery four months ago.
My SIL and I had said we would glady go over and do it for her, but she wanted to do it herself.
How about talking to your MIL and tell her how nice it would be for the kids and offer to come over and help her with it. I don't think you are over reacting at all, I think your husband should be more in tune with you than his mother (even though it is her house).
That's my two cents

bawoodsmall replied: I love the tree but I totally understand how much work goes into putting it up. I thought about having the kids and I coming over to help her. It would be fun I think.

luvmykids replied: My grandma got like that as she got older...if we weren't going to be there at Christmas or a day later, she quit putting up a tree. If you have one at your house, you can just explain to the kids that since you're going to her house a week later, she won't have a tree? I would miss it, but as long as I have one at home I could live with it.

boyohboyohboy replied: we are not putting up a tree this year, and probably for at least the next yr too, due to the little ones...we did however decorate outside and the rest of the house looks festive..and we have a small tree on top of our tv stand....

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Christmas this year is at my parents house in Oklahoma. I can't make it, again. . But regardless, they aren't doing a tree later. I keep giving her grief about it, but she just laughs me off. And this is my own mother. I say offer to go put it up and take it down for her. Maybe it's just too overwhelming. And for me, it ain't Christmas without a tree.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I love a tree, so I get what you're saying, but I'm sorry to say, it's her house, her choice IMO. And I know you offered to switch it to your house, but again, if it's always at your IL's and your MIL wants it at her house again this year, just let her.

Are you getting a tree at your place for actual Christmas? I think the kids will get enough of the tree experience if you have one at your place. JMHO.

Calimama replied: I almost didn't put one up either but changed my mind. I guess you could offer to put it up for her, but if she really doesn't want to than there isn't much you can do.

grandma replied:
How old are your kids? Just curious, since you aren't having a three due to that reason?

Kaitlin'smom replied: might I ask why you dont have one of your own?

grandma replied:
lol - that's a good queston, I didn't catch that.

bawoodsmall replied: We have one. I just meant that if we are doing christmas eve at her house shouldnt she have one also. For instance emily told her that she wont get any presents from Santa since she doesnt have a tree. MIL has always had presents from Santa to our kids at her house also. He leaves them early I guess??? It just doesnt seem xmas to me without a tree. Just a day where people are exchanging gifts. Also we dont do any kind of meal so that may also be why it doesnt feel like xmas without a tree.

grapfruit replied: Can you bring a little one w/you??

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: You know, reminds me of the time my grandmother decided she was going to skip getting a tree one year and instead, cut a tree shape out of metallic green paper and stuck it to her wall!!! Now there's an idea!! Sorry, don't mean to poke fun, but think about it, could always be worse I guess.

boyohboyohboy replied:
6 2 and 3 months..but as a sahm, i really dont want to spend the next few weeks saying no constantly to my 2 yr old, who would be at it constantly...he is already trying to pull the stocking off the fire place....

CantWait replied:
I actually kinda think that's a good idea

bawoodsmall replied:
Yeah...It could be worse obviously. They are great grandparents to our children so I have opted to take your advice and zip it. It is her house and I need to respect that. Thanks for the advice from everyone.