Not Exactly Home Sweet Home

Kirstenmumof3 wrote: Emily and Claudia are so happy to have there mom and brother home again. Claudia keeps asking if Spencer will be going to Toronto again. She's so cute and so gentle with her brother. They both really missed him. So far no fighting between the three of them, which is good. I on the other hand am having a very difficult time adjusting to living with Mark and the kids again. After 5 months in Toronto and almost 8 months living on my own, this whole thing is strange and foreign to me. Not to mention the fact that we really don't have much of a life. Spencer is hooked up to an IV from 6pm until 7am and the home care nurses come 4 times a day at 7am, 3pm, 6pm for night hydration, and then again at 11pm. At 7, 3 and 11 they stay for an hour because he has still on an anti-viral medication for the shingles.

I'm so sleep deprived and so sad. I'm trying to unpack and sort through all of my belongings and it's so hard. I'm really not trying to sound selfish, don't get me wrong I'm so happy that Spencer is finally home, but the adjustment is going to take some time. DH and I both agree that we are going to need couples counselling.

Spencer had a clinic apt. yesterday at the hospital, it was with the pediatrician that misdiagnosed him and I told him off. I have no idea what came over me. I lost it. So the doctor suggested that another pediatrician take over Spencers case. I don't know what's wrong with me, this is so out of character for me. I can usually handle situations like this. I don't know.

Spencer so far is doing okay, but he is so tired. He's not used to eating meals at the table with us and he finds that very difficult to do. He wants to eat in the living room in front of the TV. He doesn't have much of an appetite and he really isn't drinking much. We have another apt. on Monday at the hospital and I'm hoping that he won't need the night hydration anymore. And that the home care nurses will only need to come to do mantinence on the pic line. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

1lilpeanut2love replied: You have been through so much. I am sorry that this is difficult for you! Sounds like you need a break and to be alone for awhile!

luvmykids replied: I'm so glad you're all back home together but no doubt it is a transition and a huge adjustment. You've been so strong and brave through this whole ordeal and although it's wonderful to start putting this behind you, this is another thing that keeps you feeling out of whack. You're on the sunny side of things now that Spencer was able to go home, hang in there.

BAC'sMom replied: Honey you have ALL been through SO much over the last few months. I think it just going to take time for everyone to adjust and for things to get back to "normal". I will continue to pray for you and your family. to ALL of you! Keep the faith and your head held up high, you are doing an awesome job. A I think you are a wonderful MOM.

Bee_Kay replied: Of course it will be a hard adjustment.... for awhile.

Just yesterday I was wondering how long you had been away from home.... I hadn't realize it had been so long.

Keep on keeping on! You are all doing so wonderful and I am so glad that you and Spencer are back home.

mammag replied: It will get better. Just take it one day at a time....one moment at a time, and try not to let yourself get too overwhelmed.

I'm glad everyone is now home and things can start to return to normal.

Bee_Kay replied:

It is the mother in you that came out. I went through a similar situation (concerning misdiagnosis) with Tyler when he had that accident. The ER doctor said he was just fine and to "get him up and walking".... Well, after a painful weekend I brought him to a better doctor, and it ended up that his leg was broken that whole time....
As soon as we got home I made a phone call to the records dept of our hospital that I wanted it DOCUMENTED what that doctor had said, ect.

Within minutes, we recieved a phonecall from the doctor and he apologized left, right and sideways. All I pretty much had to say was "If you are going to be an ER doctor then you better d*mn well learn to read X-rays".

I know that situation is NOTHING compared to Spencer.... I'm just stating that I understand your frustration and anger as a mother.

mummy2girls replied: oh hun((HUGS)))

you have every right to feel what you are! You have been pushed back into a home life that you are not used to( living with hubby) in a long while. And spencer still being sick does not hjelp:(

I would of chewed out my doc to if they diagnosed my child with something and ended up being worse of a diagnoses!

i am sending some prayers and thought your guys' way!

kimberley replied: ((((hugs)))) Kirsten. i don't blame you one bit for ripping into the doctor. things would have been much different if he caught all of this earlier so your frustration with him is completely understandable. i think another ped is a very good idea.

give yourself and everyone else time to readjust to being under one roof again. are you going to individual therapy at home too? your strength through all of this has been inspiring and i suspect you are quite drained at this point and could use some "you" time right now. my prayers and thoughts are with you family all the time.

MommyToAshley replied:

Kirsten, I can only imagine how difficult things must have been over the past few months. It's understandable that things will be difficult at home... having a child sick can really put a strain on a marriage and be hard on the entire family. I am glad that you are getting couples counseling, but I hope you have someone to talk to on your own.

I admire you for being so brave and strong through this whole ordeal, but I also admire you for having the courage and trust in us to share how you really feel. Many people would have tried to put on a brave face, and I am glad you felt you could talk to us. I care about you and your family... you're always in my thoughts and prayers.

mom21kid2dogs replied: Sleep depravation is such an awful thing! Your "home" was in a totally different place for so long that no wonder things feel so strange when you got back.

Please don't hestitate to ask for some respite from family members and friends. You have shouldered the entire burden for so long it's easy to continue to fill that role.

Sounds like Spencer is doing pretty well at home and that's great! P &PT that things get easier day by day for you and your family. Baby steps . . . .

gr33n3y3z replied:
it will all fall into place

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Thanks everyone! I saw my psychologist yesterday and he is insisting that I see him weekly to help with the adjustment. My friend is coming over again today with her daughter to help me tackle some more boxes. DH was great this morning and let me sleep in until 11:00, I don't usually sleep that late. I know it's going to take time and that I need to remind myself that I need to take breaks from the family. It's all just so overwhelming right now.

AlexsPajamaMama replied: Hugs hugs and more hugs to you and your family!
It will take time, as does any change and adjustment. You can make it! Look how far you all have come so far!

A&A'smommy replied: I can amagine that it would be quite adjustment!! Sending LOTS oF P&PT'S!!

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: This is completely normal. You and Spencer had a sort of routine, now there are 3 other people to work into the routine. It is bound to be a heck of an adjustment. As for Spencer wanting to eat in the living room, maybe you can compromise and have one night a week when the whole family eats out there. Hang in there, Kirsten. I know you can do this.

CantWait replied: Sorry you're having a hard time readjusting. It's what Ron and I go through everytime he comes back home from tour, course, or field time. I have some books at my old work that might help. Some of the things may not apply, but I'm sure they would have some great tips. Even just to look through. Just things on re-integration. I'd be happy to send them to you for free. Just pm me your address and I'll send it out ASAP.