Not sure this would bother me

mysweetpeasWil&Wes wrote: I was at playgroup today and one of the moms complained of an experience she recently had at a restaurant. She was there with her family and her cousin's kids. I suppose her cousin's daughter was sitting in a chair on her knees, no booster. The server came up to the daughter and told her (in what appeared to be a nice tone IMO) "please sit with your legs under the table. I don't want you to fall".

Well I guess my mom friend found it a bit offensive and may call to complain. She didn't think it was appropriate for the server to say this directly to the child and that the server, if anything, should have told the parents first.

I suppose I agree that bringing the issue up with the parents FIRST would have been the better choice, but on the other hand, I feel that the server was just trying to take a safety precaution for the restaurant's sake. I would never go as far as to call to complain, but that's just me.

I'm just wondering...are we not allowed to even speak to other people's children anymore? Being mean of course is one thing, but my mom friend didn't give the impression that the server was mean at all. I personally would WANT someone to intervene if they felt that my child could get hurt, stranger or not. But again, that's just me.

How would you feel about it?

mammag replied: I think it would actually be better to say it to the child as apposed to the parent (if said in a sweet, kid friendly tone). Sometimes parents can be defensive and might take it as if you are saying they are doing something wrong. If said to the child it's as though you are assuming they didn't even realize the child was sitting like that. Does that make sense?

amynicole21 replied: I think it was fine, and might have said something myself if I saw a kid that was sitting in a way that could make them fall.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
Totally makes sense to me!

I go to the park all the time with Wil and I see kids doing things that could possibly hurt them. Sometimes I don't have time to go all the way over to the "non-watching" parent and say "hey, your kid is about to fall"....so I would say something to the kid, like be careful. In a nice tone that is. I would want someone to do that for my child. JMO.

luvmykids replied: It wouldn't bother me, sometimes I truly may not have noticed if one of the kids was sitting that way! Plus I want them to respect adults in general and learn that it doesn't have to come from me to be valid, kwim? If any adult tells them to be careful or stop doing something, etc (with sincere intentions) I would want my kids to be respectful and obedient.

lisar replied: Well think of it this way. If the child was to fall out of the seat and bust his/her head open then the parents would be allowed to sue to the restaurant. I would have said something to the parents not the child.

luvbug00 replied: I would have said to the child .

boyohboyohboy replied: I think its ok what was said, but I think I might have said, "boy I sure hope you dont fall and get hurt!" "Do you want me to get you a special chair, or are you a big boy and can sit at the table the right way?"

It would have been ackward, but I would be happy that someone was looking out for my child.

ediep replied: I think what the waiter said was fine, except for the facct that jason always kneels at the table because he thinks he is too big for a booster

MyLuvBugs replied: I agree with Stacy! I think the server should have said it a little differently as to not to offend the parents and make the child feel super special. I can see why the mom might have been a little grouchy about it. None of us like to be told how to raise or take care of our kids, and some get offended easily when someone buts in and says something. (I know I do anyway) Even if the person is being nice about it. KWIM?

Personally, I would never let my child sit on her knees like that in a chair EVER, but that's just me.

luvmykids replied:
FWIW, sitting exactly like that when I was 5 is how I slipped, bumped my chin on the table, bit my tongue and had to have it stitched! I couldn't even chew for about a week, I had to eat jello and spaghetti-o's and stuff you can just swallow.

Brias3 replied: Although I might see where your friend is coming from- the server could have mentioned it to the parent first and not presented it as a DEMAND, nicely or not, but I do agree with you- it seems that we can't say a thing to anyone else nowadays without it being taken offensively or the wrong way. I certainly would NOT call and complain about something like that- that's just not me. However, as the parents, I wouldn't let my kid sit that way anyhow but wouldn't want someone telling me such.

AlexsPajamaMama replied: I think coming from the server my child would have listened better than if I had said it! And I would probably be one of the parents who would take offense to the server saying something to me about how my child is sitting/acting.

CantWait replied:
Ditto!!

AlexsPajamaMama replied:
Me either. I am always telling DS to sit on his bottom because Im soo afraid he will get hurt. He has fallen off his chair at home from not sitting nicely.

b&bsmom replied: I think it was fine and I would rather that they say it to my child then me. IF my child was doing something that they could get hurt I rather they cut out the middle man and tell them. I think people complain about things that are no big deal too often these days. it gets ridicilus(sp)