OK I've had enough - putting him in the crib tonight

Schnoogly wrote: In our room. Don't care about the toddler bed. Something has to change or I'm going to do something I will regret. So we're going to do a moderate form of CIO--not leave him, but not pick him up or nurse him either. The whole idea is just horrible but I don't know what else to do. The NCSS is not working. I have this dream of going to sleep and not waking up until morning. It sounds like a fairy tale, like something someone made up that could never happen. Last night I wanted to throw him across the room I was so mad. At 4am DH finally brought him downstairs because he literally did not let go of my nipple all night, from 8:30pm on. And he kicked and clawed me all night long.

I swear, what he is doing to me is probably outlawed by the geneva convention. Isn't waking someone up every half hour, not letting them eat or go to the bathroom or have 5 minutes to themselves for almost a YEAR considered torture?? I know he's just a baby but please. Something has to give.

So I don't expect to get any sleep for the next 2 weeks or so. I hope he doesn't hate me for this. But I can't do it any more. Honestly, if I had known it would be this hard I might not have had kids.

coasterqueen replied: I feel your pain. Kylie isn't that bad with sleep, but it sure seems that way. She wakes to nurse every two hours on the dot!!! Then she has a binky in her mouth the rest of the time and if it falls out she wakes up. She only stays asleep if I sleep with her too. She does sleep by herself from 8 to midnight, but I still got to go in there and nurse her at 10 and then at midnight I just sleep with her.

I hope it works out for you. I can't bring myself to do it, everytime I think about it I think to myself "she's gotta grow out of this soon, right?". NOT! LOL.

I kinda figured I would have a high needs baby, knowing my luck I was a high needs baby. So I hoping my next one isn't. LOL. I love Kylie to pieces but sometimes they just really get to ya.

((HUGS)). I wish I had suggestions, but I tried NCSS and it didn't work for me, either

ediep replied: I think it is a good idea to get him used to his own bed. Although I don't BF, I can't imagine that he needs to be fed from 8pm - 4am! That is torture!!! I know you have the bedtime routine...so, just end the routine with him in his own crib. I really hope that this works for you. You deserve a nights sleep!

maliksmommy replied: I know there are quite a few on this board that are against CIO but it is something that we did and it has worked. It is very hard to do, but I saw no other way of getting him to go to bed on his own and since we have gotten him to do that he seems to sleep through the night most of the time. I don't think you are being mean to him and yes you do deserve some time to yourself. When we did CIO the most we would let him cry is 30 min and the most it ever got to was 25 min, but it became more of a moaning cry. I learned to be able to tell by his cries if he was going to give up and go to sleep or if he really wasn't tired and didn't want to. Like I said it is hard but for us it was worth it. Good luck to you and I hope things go smoothly and you can have that full nights sleep you have been dreaming of

Kaitlin'smom replied: aww steph I do feel your pain. there are some nights I just cant take it eiither, and others she will sleep or go back to sleep like a dream. I do have to say that after the last time my DH went away she has not slept right since then....dunno why. I am not a fan of CIO but you have to do what works for you, and I have done it a couple times, espically nap time when I know she is tired and just wont sleep I will let her CIO. Thankfully she will only cry for about 2 minutes, the longest was about 5 minutes! I hope he starts sleeping somewhat better for you so you can sleep yourself, you soooo deserve it!

Schnoogly replied: Thanks...I am still doubtful it will work because when he has cried in the car he usually doesn't stop until picked up. The last time he got so worked up he threw up all over the place. He is not the kind of baby who can go to sleep after crying without comfort--it just escalates. So I don't know what we will do if it doesn't work. He is not nursing for food (there is hardly any milk in there) but comfort. He just can't stay asleep for more than 40 minutes at a time and needs help (a LOT of help) to get back to sleep.

How can I love him and hate him so much at the same time??

natjasem replied: I know it feels like this will never pass, but it will! Stay strong! When I feel like I'm at my wits end, I stop, take a deep breath, and tell myself that in the future I'll look back at this moment and laugh. These crazy little creatures grow up so fast- before we know it, they will be all grown up and we'll wonder where the years went! Stay positive and hang in there!

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Oh Stephanie, I sympathise with you! I know how difficult it is for you, but you are doing the right thing! I hope it doesn't take to long for him to get into a routine of sleeping in his crib for you! Sending you lots and lots of patience!

DansMom replied: I can relate, although I can see that you've got a particularly difficult kiddo (he's so cute though!)---I'm probably getting up half the times you are, so at least am getting 2-3 hours at a time, and I'm a wreck most days. I feel bad for both you and Schnoogly---like you say, something has to give, and it seems to come down to a battle of the wills for you two at this point. You've tried everything else, and he's such a passionate, demanding little guy. It stinks that the NCSS didn't work. My DH calls it the "No Sleep Cry Solution" ---he doesn't think it's going to work for us either. I'll be thinking of you the next few nights---let us know how it goes.

mummy2girls replied: Oh i am sos orry to hear you are having trouble. Im not sure when you posted this as i havent been keeping up with the board that well lately. I was lucky with jenna as she took to her crib after sleeping with me for 6 months and it took only a week. I dont know what you are going through but i will sendf you some sleep vibes~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ and hugs(HUGS)

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I'm sorry! It is such a battle and I have been there so many times. I know you don't want to make him cry forever. I used to put Maddie in her crib and close the door and cry I would get so frustrated (and still do sometimes). If his crying bothers you too much, go outside for a few minutes. Trust me, he will be fine in his crib. You have got to get some rest! He is old enough now that he knows what it takes to win and he is winning this battle. You have got to get it under control now. I hope that doesn't seem harsh, but being consistent is your best bet. Give him a warm bath, read a story, nurse and put him in bed at the same time every night. He will get the hang of it. It will be hard at first...a lot of screaming fits and you pulling your hair out, but in the long run it will pay off. I really feel for you. I know how it is. Maddie is doing a lot better with a routine. If she gets past a certain point in the evenings I can forget about her going down smoothly, but it is knowing what her limit is (it truly is a fine line with her).

How is his health? Is this something you can do, (let him cry very long?) Or does it scare you b/c of his heart? I really hope it gets better. Maybe putting him in another room would work that way he can't see you and get more upset. (and make you upset on top of that)

Best Wishes!

CantWait replied: Sorry you're having such a hard time. It's funny cause I told my dh the over day that if I'd had Anthony first I might not ever had kids again....sounds horrible but he's very difficult. Hope the new method works out for you.