OMG! GET A LOAD OF THIS - WTH are they thinking????

Bee_Kay wrote: I have to backtrack a little bit.....

Lacy doesn't have a job, her BF worked at McDonalds. He brought home about $650 per month. Their apartment rent was $300 (which included utilites except electricity). Which left them approx $350 per month for diapers, groceries and formula (The WIC they recieve for the baby doesn't last the entire month).

Lacy then gets a telemarketing job so they chose to move into a trailer home and the rent is now $400, utilities NOT included. Lacy worked 2 days and quit because she didn't like the hours. So, that leaves them about $250 per month for formula, groceries, electricity, heating, water, gas, ect!!!

So, now they are depending on BF income again. Last Sunday her and BF take off (BF calls into work that night and got gas money from his sister to go) to his dads which is about 3 hours away because his dad was having a hernia surgery. I call them later that afternoon to see how his dad is doing.... his dad is at home and they didn't go to the hospital anyways. (It was a simple outpatient procedure) I am like WTF?

So, they say they will be back on Wednesday morning (yesterday) because BF had to work at 4:00pm. I hadn't heard from them so I call them today when I noticed that BF truck again wasn't at McDonalds.

So, now...... this is what I find out. They never did come back and BF called his place of work on Wednesday and up and quit over the telephone (because he heard they didn't like him much there)!!!! (That was their ONLY income). So, I ask BF "What the hell are you two gonna do now???"

He tell me "I am getting a new job. It's working at home over the internet. It's filing HUD refunds. The training costs $180 and my dad is borrowing me that money". I say "Don't you need internet service for that?" He says "Yeah, I have to see if my mom will help me with that".


Does anyone know anything about this kind of job where you work for yourself at home over the internet??????

My3LilMonkeys replied: I'd tell them to be careful if I were you....a lot of those work at home jobs are scams. You should NEVER have to pay up front for anything - that's usually the first sign of a scam.

luvbug00 replied: what an idiot! I'm sorry, i would eat the leftovers on the floor to feed my family if i had to.

kit_kats_mom replied: I work at home using the internet as a tool. I was actually scammed (so it does happen to smart people ) by one of the pay for the info places. Check WAHM.com. They have a list of the scams and the real jobs. Most of them involve sales though.

I lucked into my job by getting my degree via distance learning, networking, listening closely when people talked and a lot of planning. I got scammed and did tons of research but I finally found a place that needed my skills desperately (someone quit and left them in a big mess). THey were a technologically innovative company and one who was fairly flexible. Luckily, I had just the skills they needed and the ability/setup to do it from home at no added cost to them. I have been "temping" with them for 4 years now but it really was luck.

He needs to get his head out of his butt and do some serious growing up now that he's got a family to support. That's not going to happen until his parents stop helping him out though. How totally juvenille and selfish to quit a paying job because someone may not like you when you have a wife and child at home depending on you.

redchief replied: Barb, READ THIS.

As usual, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

Cece00 replied: Wow, that is incredibly sad.

How was he only making $650 a month? Its my understanding McDonalds pays slightly over min. wage & even @ min. wage & 40 hrs per wk, thats $900 a month before taxes...he can get them to take very little out of his paycheck, he should get back at least $750-800.

I cant believe your stepdaughter puts up with this idiot. How do they expect to pay for ANYTHING??? Bills, not to mention FOOD. Do they neglect this baby in any way, like not getting her things she needs, because they have no money?

mckayleesmom replied: Boy...they are not bright at all...Don't they know that when you have a baby...you come last...What a childish excuse to quit a job...they didn't like him....LOL...I see a pattern. Nobody likes him.

Its usually wise to find the new job before the old when you have mouths to feed.

PrairieMom replied: How do you keep yourself from grabbing them both by the shirt collars and shaking some sence into them? I have no idea how you haven't lost your mind yet. How frusterating for you to have to sit by and watch this mess.

coasterqueen replied: I'm not sure I would call them not bright. I'd call them young, naive and immature. I remember those times. I was on my own at 17 years old. Before that I thought that it would be a piece of cake to live on my own and make all this money, etc. I found out REAL quick what being an "adult" was all about. I was lucky that I had skills right out of highschool and got an office job making $15,000 a year, so better than what minimum wage was at that time by far. I didn't have a car though which made it very hard to get to work and I barely paid bills. I didn't have anyone to help me.

I think once these two do this "on their own" with no help they'll realize. I've got a friend who's 34 years old and still lives off mom and dad because they let him. He'll never learn.

Hope they wake up soon and realize that they are in the real world and not playing house. GL to them.

Bee_Kay replied:
I have a very simple answer to this question....... it's because he doesn't/didn't work fulltime. I asked him why he didn't try for fulltime... his answer was "Because I like having time off too".

It is hard to sit by and keep my mouth shut. But, they are "on their own" so we have to allow them to make their mistakes and hopefully learn from them.

The thing that is so frustrating is that it all comes down to VERY simple math.

I do feel bad for the baby, I really do. But, I also have to realize that this baby is THEIRS, not ours. We won't allow that baby to be neglected, but if her BF wants to be a father.... then darn it, it is HIS responsibility to provide what he promised Lacy he would provide.... at least until SHE realizes that he cannot or won't. KWIM?

Bee_Kay replied: ED,
Thank you for that info.... it is exactly what I feared it would be. That description is exactly what BF said the job was.

GET THIS....
This last Monday, BF had testing at a factory in this town. Approx. $45,000/ year to start.

All he had to do was SHOW UP.... that's it. GUESS WHAT??? He didn't feel like coming back here the day after they left.... so, he pissed that job goodbye (If he had shown up, my DH could have guaranteed him a job).

Also, on Monday, my sister called me..... she told me that the place where her DH works, was waiting for BF to show up ....... He would have been hired on the spot. Guess what? He didn't feel like coming back from his dads yet, so the job was given to someone else.
(YES, he was also told when to show up for an interview to that place of business.)

So, I call BF and told him this..... guess what??? He gets pissed off because "THEY should have called and reminded HIM of when to come in".

Cece00 replied:
Thats ridiculous that he will not work full time.

He could work 10 hr days 4 days a week & still have 3 days for "free time" not to mention he'd still have a few hrs a night on the days he DID work.

Tell him to get a job @ Walmart or something...FULL TIME. They pay higher than min wage.

I'm sorry, but he is a loser, no other way about it. I hope your SD will wake up soon b/c she is in a world of trouble if she doesnt.

Calimama replied: I feel bad for that child.

CantWait replied: WOW Barb, I'm sorry. I can't imagine how hard it is to sit back and watch this LOSER destroy your daughter and grandbaby's lives. I would pray that he'd smarten up, but I think he's got a lot of learning left before that happens. Hopefully Lacy is back home with you soon and dumps this **s hole.

C&K*s Mommie replied:

redchief replied: I just hope he figures it out before he gets himself dug into a debt hole he'll spend way too long digging out of.

mom2my2cuties replied: Please don't take this wrong - because I seriously sympathize with the situation you are in.

But seriously, way too much blame is being laid on the boyfriend. Your stepdaughter is just as much to blame for thier situation from what I have read. As that child's mother it is her responsibility to ensure that child is being cared for and if that means she has to get a job, then that is what she needs to do because it certainly sounds like the boyfriend isn't going to ever be able to provide as the sole breadwinner.

I think the families need to quit helping, and let them both fall flat on thier butts so they see they are parents now and not kids and need to grow up and act like adults where this baby is concerned.

Bee_Kay replied:
I agree with you .... in a way. I am torn between 2 things.

Her BF did made the choice to take on the financial responsibility and therefore it was incredibly STUPID of him to quit the ONE income they did have.

One the other hand... yes I agree with you..... they are in the situation they are in now because they are BOTH to blame. They both made all these stupid dicisions.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: How sad. Is your daughter trustworth enough to watch other children? She could watch some kids for cash...

He needs a swift kick in the butt. Maybe it's not the worst thing in the world to run out of money for them... they'd be forced to ask parents for $$... I wouldn't give it to them though... they need to learn... if my kids were irresponsible and flubbed up with money, and asked for some $.. I'd ask them what it was for, then I'd go out and buy half of what they asked for... and only because of their child. It would do them some good I think to live a couple days with no heat, water, and hardly any food... then they'd know what it's like to actually have to work for what you get... ya know?

Sorry... I went through having to juggle work and school when I was young... I've been on my own since I was 15.

C&K*s Mommie replied: So if & when they get evicted from their place they are renting, their car gets repo'ed, and they are left hungry and homeless will you offer them a place to stay for awhile?

I am not being sarcastic in asking this at all.

It puzzles me that they have no immediate prospects for earning money, but do they not realize that regardless of having no money, that rent will still be due, electric, water are still neccesities, they can catch the bus places in the event their car gets repo'd; however the baby will still need the basics.

Are they this oblivious? Again not being sarcastic or trying to be judgemental, but I am just not understanding why they are not realizing that 2 & 2 is just not adding up to 4.

coasterqueen replied:
No, they are just CHILDREN themselves. Something we forget to think about. Children having children. I know that we, now at our age and maturity level, can see this, but they aren't at those levels yet so they can't. I don't think how they are acting is right, but I know just exactly where they are coming from and thinking. I really do, although I did not have a child or a boyfriend in the mix. They are just really naive trying to be adults. They will learn. It may be hard mistakes they have to learn by, but they will learn, they will grow up and they will thrive one day. It might just take a long hard road to get there. Not everyone goes down the path straight, some of us take the "windy" approach. Doesn't mean that when we finally get to that level of maturity that we are going to be bad people. I was one of those "windy" approach people and I think I turned out ok. If adults would have gotten into the situation, I don't think I would be here like I am today.

GL BeeKay to them. They will grow up one day. I believe that. They just might have a lot of pain getting there, but honestly that will only make them stronger. I know there is a child involved and that child has to be thought of and I would say that would be the concern the grandparents/other adults should have, but only for that grandchild. As a parent it would be very hard to sit back and watch my daughter "screw up" her life, but you have to let them figure it out. In the end she'll come back to you and thank you for it.

stella6979 replied: And what about insurance? What if the baby needs medical care? Then what do they do?
I know everyone makes mistakes, but it's time they get their crap together. And I agree that your stepdaughter is also to blame. If her BF said he would take on the financial responsibility and then didn't, she should have packed her bags. Staying with him while he does whatever he wants, is only condoning that behavior.

C&K*s Mommie replied: I understand. Thank you for that reminder Karen. I have taken the windy road plenty of times before, and from time to time I still do (I am hardheaded like that).