OMG Im cheezed off now!!!!

mummy2girls wrote: So all because of this provider saying that lie I lost a client. I had this boy in my dayhome since the day ii opened... 2 years. I understand that as a mom anything like this would make you wonder and second guess someone and you want to get them a different place of childcare. BUT his mom has known me for 2 years she knows i would never hurt any child... but again i guess its a mothers instinct. I kinda had a hunch this was going to happen, because I have heard from all moms through this whole ordeal. and they phoned me each day to talk and give me all thier support. BUT i never heard from this one mom. so it didnt shock me that this happened but man did it tick me off... that lady cost me a client. and the child is 4 years old so you would think asking a 4 yr old if i have ever hit him or any other child he would answer... but again i guess i cant put judgement on her as this was a scarey situation for all. It will take a few months probably to fill that 4 yr spot because usuallly at 4 a child has been in the same childcare setting already! UGH!!! I HATE LIARS... they ruin Lives!!!

lisar replied: I am sorry this happened to you. But yes I can understand the moms point of view, but she has known you for 2 years she should know by now.

A&A'smommy replied: I'm sorry sweetie!!

CantWait replied: Sorry Shelley, I'd be upset as well. The mom really should know having been with you for two years, and a four year old has a voice, a small yes, but they know if someone is hurting them or not. Not only that, but the things you do with the kids and the effort you put into your dayhome does not spell child abuser.

I really hope you fill your spot quickly.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: Liars do suck! It makes you wonder what the motivation is in a situation like that....maybe she is desperate for some kind of attention and figures she can get it through the agency in the form of praise for 'spotting a child abuser' KWIM? Either way people like that are totally crazy and really more than a little sad! As angry as they make me I feel sorry for them sometimes too...

Do you think this mom is a bit more nervous about new accusations coming forward because of the (somewhat recent) addition of Marcus? I can understand that in alot of ways...maybe she trusts you and knows you have had her son for years but now that there is a new person in the home and esp since he was home at the time she may feel uneasy about him more than you. Just a different way to look at it-don't know if it helps but it may not be you she is not trusting just more the new situation.....Either way-liars still suck!

AlexsPajamaMama replied: It is so hard to trust anyone these days, putting your child in the care of some one else is a scarey thing to do as a mom so I understand why she pulled him out. She didnt want to take any chances and whatever. I probably would have done the same thing.
Im sorry it had to happen, thats frustrating. That other provider isnt a nice person at all to make up such lies!

cameragirl21 replied: what happened, Shelly?
I must have missed something because I have no idea what you're talking about...did some kid accuse you of hitting him/her?

boyohboyohboy replied: I have to say that as a mom, if the day home my kids were at had to close for an investigation of that kind, no matter what the outcome, I would also move my kids.
I just wouldnt feel comfortable being at work for that many hours wondering what is going on.
also with the addition of marcus, as someone else pointed out, might make them wonder if things have changed.

It is a mess of a situation thats for sure..

mummy2girls replied:
yes i understand that Im just ticked because she cost me a client... GRRRR!!!!!

MommyToAshley replied:
I agree with both you and Abbie... on both accounts. I think I would have been leary of another person being in the home that I didn't know, but then to add the allegations on top of it. I would have pulled my child out too regardless of the outcome of the investigation. It may not be fair, but you really can't blame the mother.

mummy2girls replied:
no i dont blame the mom and im not cheezed off at the mom.. im mad at the provider that made these lies because if it wasnt for that i would still have him.... I KNOW she is a mom and i would do teh same thing for sure BUT im mad at the fact the provider lied!!!! PLAIN AND SIMPLE!!!!

mummy2girls replied:
and where did i say i blamed the mom?

MommyToAshley replied:
I never said you blamed the Mom. It was just a figure of speech... meaning that I would have done the same thing. To be honest, and I don't mean any offense to you or Marcus, but I probably would have pulled my child out when Marcus came into the picture before the allegations were even made. I would never leave Ashley with an adult I don't know, even if I know the other parent. In this world today, you can never be too over-protective. So, I was just saying that I get what the others were saying about being apprehensive about the whole situation including Marcus being in the picture now. It is not a reflection of you or Marcus. No one was finding fault in how you feel, but just trying to point out another angle that you may not have thought about. It may not be fair to you, but I see her point from a parent's perspective. And, as a parent, my first obligation is to protect my child, not be fair to my dcp (which sucks if you are the dcp).


ETA... I never said anything before because I didn't want to offend you, but I think you are also obligated to inform the agency and your parents about the Aron situation. If the police were fearful enough to pull Jenna out of school, I would be very upset as a parent if I weren't made aware of the situation. I am surprised the police did not have to report that to the agency anyways. I am sorry if you think I am being too honest, but I am just giving you my opinion from a parent's perspective. I mean no offense, just wanted to give you another view point to think about is all. I have never ran a daycare, so I am probably not the best one to give advice. But, I do know how I would feel about these things as a parent.

I hope it all works out for you.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: I don't think it was meant as in you were only blaming the mom. I think that we were just trying to give you another view....I was hoping to ease your feelings of not being trusted



Or that is how I read you were feeling...I don't use daycare providers but I have friedns who do and honestly 2 of them pulled their kids out of homes they had been in for over 3 years each because the DCP's boyfriend moved in....You can't really be too careful anymore If she was already feeling uneasy this could have been the straw that broke the camels back so to speak...

Have you looked into bringing some kind of lawsuit against her for unfounded accusations?

mummy2girls replied:
but the thing is i wasnt impling about the parent... i have never said i was mad at the mom, I said numerous times in my first post I understand the moms point of view and that i would do teh same thing for sure. i was saying i am mad at the provider because if it wasnt for the lies i wouldnt be under investigation and i wouldnt of lost the client!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so as a dayhome provider i cant have a husband because if i bring a guy into my life to live with and marry then the parents may feel uneasy and take thier kids out? how is that fair to me as a provider? and person? So now adays if a provider starts off as a single mom then it should never change and she shouldnt get married and bring the child in because it could cause parents to feel uneasy? How fair again is that? man i knew being a provider was tough but man i never really new how tough.

Im sorry if i sound like a hag and im defensive but this is all making me look bad and that bringing someone i love into my life that i married will be something that goes os agaisnt me.. i know the parents had every right to yank thier child out just like i probably would too for sure yes because abuse is a BIG allegation you dont want to mess with for sure, but everyone is making it out that i should blame the mom, etc and that if it were me i would yank them out so fast but no one is seeing my original post that if it wasnt for the lies teh provider said the investigation wouldnt of happened, and i would not of lost the child. I know the mom was scared i get that 100 percent but thats not what i was getting at i was getting at the fact i was mad at the lies the provider said... being a mom that has had a child in nasty horrible centres and homes i see the flip side of the moms and as a provider as well. it sucks big time. I just wish people would put aside always saying the mom has the right, she shouldnt be blamed, I DIDNT SAY that i was sayign the provider!!! i know i sound like a record im just frustrated that one one is seeing what im tryign to say...

MommyToAshley replied: Again, I don't think you are getting the point. No one said you blamed the Mom. Everyone just commented, as you did, that you would do the same thing. It was just a figure of speech... at least that's how I meant it.

MommyToAshley replied:
I already said that it might not be fair, but yes I would pull my child out of daycare if a man that I did not know was brought into a private home where my child was being supervised without me. My first obligation is to my child, not to the dcp. That doesn't mean he is a bad person, or the dcp is a bad person, but you have to look at it from a paren't perspective. How would you feel if the situation were reversed and it were Jenna? Would you be fine leaving her in that situation?

mummy2girls replied:
i put it in there because she new me that long but i followed it with its the mothers instinct.. i get that!!!

im not feeling how the mom felt for doing this. She the mom she has every right! I am mad at the provider that made the lies.

just dont see how its fair that being a dayhome provider i should put my whole life on hold and not marry or have a boy friend because of now a days. how is that fair to me as a person? and marcus was my fiance when he moved in not boyfriend...

boyohboyohboy replied: I think the thing that is different is here, we see these crimes against children day in and day out on tv, just horrible crimes that we cant hardly imagine..so in any situation where there is even a question as to something might be going on...
then people are going to get nervous.
I dont think anyone meant that it was marcus's fault, its just that he was a new adult in the home that was just accused of doing something awful to a child...

whether it was proven or not most people would be a little nervous to just let it go.
I mean honestly how many times have we watched them do interviews when something bad has happened, and they neighbors always say, "we never would have guessed it, they were always such nice people?"

it the world that we live in now.

Of course you are going to be defensive, but no one said that they felt you were guilty, just that like you, is very easy to see how a mom would remove a child. I think most of the comments have agreed with you...

mummy2girls replied:
if i meet the guy and he had all back ground checks and he wasnt discipling the child then yes i would be ok. call me bad but i would and i have before... marcus had all his checks so he would not of been able too move in if he had done something per say...how is marryinga guy and him being with me different than finding a dcp that has a husband?

mummy2girls replied:
marcus was not accused... I was!!! he was just here and witnessed what truely happened...

mummy2girls replied:
but my thing is i know that the mom would feel that way i said numerous times I probably would of done the same thing. The mom was unesy i get that i know that i understand that. im not upset! I am mad because if it wasnt for the lies this all wouldnt of happened and i would of lost the child.

MoonMama replied: I'm really sorry Shelly, what a horrible situation all around.

MommyToAshley replied:
Honestly, I would not leave Ashley with anyone that I did not feel comfortable with every person in the house. That's probably why my MIL, my mom, and a very good friend that I trust completely are the only ones that have ever watched her. I even stay at practices for soccer, Daisy scout events, etc. I don't interfere with the events and I am in the background, but I am there. These kids are even younger and would have a harder time communicating if something were wrong. So, in answer to your question, I would not leave her with someone I don't know and and trust completely in the first place (that includes everyone in the house), and I would pull her out of a daycare if a new person were introduced. You may think I am being paranoid, but it wouldn't bother me as I parent the best way I know how and how I think is best for my family. I wasn't trying to say you shouldn't get married, or you shouldn't be a dcp, or even trying to offend you, I was simply pointing out another point of view.

mummy2girls replied:
yes and i understand that. im just mad at the fact no one is getting what im saying. IM mad at the provider that lied. Just like if your neighbour walked past your house and supposdly saw you strike ashley and call her a stupid girl and so much more, and an investigation was brought agasint you, you would be upset that this happend and you would be mad at the neighbour right? thats what im saying im mad at the provider not the mom!!!!!!!!!

boyohboyohboy replied: so I just have a question..for my own knowledge..
if someone does this to you, and its proven not to be true, and you lose business due to it, can you sue her?
or what is the retailation.
and also you mentioned before that this woman worked for the same company that watches over you , so they must have some idea of the tension between the two of you..are they looking into her now or seeing if she was trying to get you into trouble? I mean I would think that would be a mark on her character and something a company would want to know about...

what happens now?

mummy2girls replied:
plus if you read my original post you would see i see the moms point of view... i get she was feeling uneasy etc etc etc .. thats why thi si frustrating me i see both sides .. the moms and me as a provider that was accussed of something horrific. im sayign this only once more... IM not mad at the momf or taking him out, i would of done the same thing, i was mad that i was lied about and accused, investgations set and then lost a client over a proivers vindictive way of stealing my clients and shutting em down!

mummy2girls replied:
yes the ganecy knew she had some immositity ( sp?) agaisnt me and did not like me for some reason. But did they do anything nope. can i sue? i dont know. i dont know what they are doing with her. Im goign to ask the person that was in charge of my case and see if she will have a warning or talking too about this. Im sure if she alleges again then something click into thier heads!

3xsthefun replied: I'm sorry that happened to you.

Calimama replied: That stinks I'm sorry.

Maybe it was a combination of the situation with the police and Aron and now this. It's just so much drama, and honestly as great as a dayhome provider you are, I wouldn't want my kid in the middle of it. I doubt it's anything personal, you're clearly NOT a child abuser or anything of the sort.

I can see how your mad at the lady who lied... don't worry, karma will be back for her.

mummy2girls replied:
and again i undestand you wouldnt i wouldnt either!!!

mummy2girls replied:
i hate how everyone lives is jepordizing my business. i want to move now and get the heck out of here!!!!

Calimama replied:
I mean the first incident. Didn't you say the police went to Jenna's school because they were worried for her safety? And that you told the dayhome parents?

cameragirl21 replied: what happened?!
I'm still in the dark over here...sorry, I'm too lazy to read all the other posts but I don't get what happened....

luvbug00 replied:

it's not fair at all. But i don't think it would matter if Marcus was your fiance, new husband, brother, cousin, cat or dog some people like things as is and when it changes it sets them off.
Honestly i would move if i were you. Get away from all the drama of the ex and the negitivity of those who keep pelting you with unnessisary worries..

mummy2girls replied:
we are moving... december 1st.. into a diff area and a bigger place!