OMG - I'm freaking out, it's starting

CantWait wrote:

I found that above line in Robbie's e-mail. I decided to log Robbie's msn chats (I wanna be a responsible parent) and I found a log with a girl he's been chatting with....well from what I get she lives in NFL (Newfoundland), which is a couple provinces away (thank GOD ). At first she lied about her age (I think) and said she was 15, then later said she lied and said she's turning 12 in a month. She asked Robbie in their msn chat if he would be her online bf . Awwwwwwwwwwwwww........

In one of his other chats with another friend, he says "I'm talking with my gf"

OH GOSH NOW WHAT???????????????????

MoonMama replied: First off...

I don't think I will ever be ready for that!

luvmykids replied: OMG Marie! I'm freaking out right along with you

I know it's "normal" for the age, and I'm sure someone with a voice of reason will chime in here, but I'm no help because I'd be freaking out

Ok, eta: Some sensibility just kicked in....first, what are your house rules about the internet, online chat, et? If he hasn't broken any rules and it stays innocent, then I guess let it be as hard as that sounds.

Nina J replied: I would bre freaking out too. The internet is an unsafe place, has he ever met this girl in person? Because if he hasn't, I would be even more freaked out..this 12 year old girl could turn out to be a 40 year old pedophile. But Robbie is only young, so I would have a talk with him.

amymom replied: Absolutely talk to him. You do not need to disclose anything you know. Just have a general... online safety talk with him. I have discovered (Billy is 16) that gf - bf is different with these walls of shyness broken down. What I mean is, that the normal inhibitions that kick in when we are talking face to face disappear when we are in an anonymous like forum, like a chat or IM or emails. Thus they talk about things they would never say to each other face to face. There are good points to this and bad.

The important thing for him to hear from YOU, is that he is to never ever give out your home address, tel. #, cell # etc. Look for his info on myspace and make sure there is no identifing info on there.

Also, remind him that just like you could go and sign in in his name, (be sure you have his passwords), so could someone else be 'posing' as someone he would like to know. (thus the possibility of pedifiles etc.) Also with cut & paste anyone can read what he writes and people talk so he should be careful of what he says, so there are no hurt feelings or unfair expectations.

When my son was 12, 13 we shared an IM account. His friends would get on line and say Hey Billy. I could very easily have pretended to be him, but I always said Hello this is Billy's Mom, I would chat a moment and then get Billy.

Like Monica said, if you don't have rules yet, get them in place and if he doesn't break them, Thank God and relax and when he does then let him know you know and fix it.

Good Luck Welcome to the world of teens!!!!

Hillbilly Housewife replied: heh heh!!!

CantWait replied: Nina I have no idea if they know eachother from school or just from the internet. I check all the history after he's been on the computer and he doesn't go to any sites besides the ones I've saved to a favourites folder for him......the rule is I check the site out first, then save it, and those are the only ones he's allowed to go to. This girl says she's from Newfoundland, but being that we're military, it could mean that she's originally from Newfoundland, and it could very well be a girl he goes to school with.

We definetly have our rules in place, and been through all the safety aspects of it. I have his password to his msn/hotmail, and he's suppose to keep it so that his password is always checked, if it isn't I've told him his access to his account will be void. He's never broken trust about his internet access, but this certainly is a little lesson in which I need to do a little test and make sure he's remembering everything we've discussed.

MommyToAshley replied: Sounds like you have great internet safety procedures in place Marie.

I would be freaking out too... I am not looking forward to Ashley hitting that age and actually liking boys....

sparkys2boys replied: OMG Marie I would talk to Robbie and see what he has to say about all of this, being fair to him. Then go from there. I would talk about safety again and make it very clear that he should not give his addresse, phone number any of that .. EVER! Good luck with it.. KUP

Maddie&EthansMom replied:

You're doing a great job!!
He's just doing what is normal for that age! I have no doubts that you keep a watchful eye on him, otherwise you would have never found that e-mail!

Boo&BugsMom replied: Ditto to what Aimee said.

I dread this stage. Hugs to you. I am sure, esp. if she lives very far away, that this situation will eventually just fade away...hopefully. I would talk to him as well, just so he can be guided in the right direction.

Calimama replied:
Sounds like you are doing great!