Obese Children

stella6979 wrote: I was just reading a story about an 8 year old boy who is nearly 200 pounds and they're trying to decide what should be done. They are considering removing the boy from his home, but no set arrangements have been made. As parents, it is your job to maintain a healthy diet for your kids, but do you think CPS should get involved in cases like these? Just wondering what you all thought?

TANNER'S MOM replied: Well it is our job to maintain our kids health. But maybe education and healhty eating would be more of what is right to do.

I have an 8 year old who is 4 ft 8 and weighs 100lbs. Yes he is a big boy. I can wear his shorts (ones with a draw string) and his t shirts.. We have the same size feet too.

He is a bit heavy..not over weight. But some might say..he could be smaller. But you know he is a big boy with big set of shoulders. I watch what he eats..and only allow so much sweet. I don't buy cookies etc. Ice cream is a treat only every now and then. My point is, sometimes it's not our fault, Sometimes it's just life. Some times it medical.

Who are we to judge. Tanner is a big boy, tallest in his class and maybe the heaviest. He is bigger than his 16 year old sister..but not over weight really. His BMI doesn't say he is overweight.

I guess I worry about Tanners weight and size..but if someone told me how to raise him I would tell them to go to heck.

I think education and medical intervention. But take him away from his parents is so sad on an already sad thing.

stella6979 replied:
Oh, I absolutely agree, but what if the parents aren't willing to educate themselves or their children and aren't doing anything to help resolve the problem? I know some kids have medical conditions or are just big boned but this kid is 8 and is over 200lbs. As much as I'd hate to see any child taken away for that reason, I would also like to see them happy and living long, healthy lives.
BTW, I've seen pics of Tanner and he doesn't look heavy to me. He's still able to run and play and enjoy himself, which is what being a kid is all about. He may be a little bigger than "average" (whatever that means), but he looks just fine to me.
I'm not here to judge anyone, I just think if the parents aren't willing to step up and help their kids, then someone needs to take the reigns and lead these kids in the right direction.

Boys r us replied: Oh I think when a child is THAT overweight itt is beyond detramental to his health and I think it is grossly negligent on the parents behalf! My oldest son is basically 11 yrs old ( a cple mnths shy)and he is stocky and well a little on the chubby side..but there is a difference in 15 pounds overweight and 130 pounds overweight! So I agree that SOMEONE needs to be an advocate for this little boy it's obvious that his parents are not!

hopefulmomtobe replied: I feel very strongly about this. There should be no reason for a child to be obesely overweight like that. They are not the ones who go to the grocery store and buy the food, it is the parents and it is 100% the parents fault the child is like that, not the childs. They are taught these habits and they have parents that give into their wants for unhealthy foods. They probably have very unhealthy parents as well and if the parents can not control what goes on in their household then I think it is only right for authority to step in and take control of the situtation IF it is causing harmful damage to the child and I think a child weighing 200lbs is very dangerous and causing serious health problems.

I cant even watch those Maury shows with the obese 2 year olds on it because it drives me nuts. Why feed your child Swiss Rolls just because that is the "only thing they will eat". Guess what....if they get hungry enough....they WILL eat!

Ok, I am stepping down off the soap box...just really drives me nuts!

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: I just read this online. It's in England, I believe. And the article I read said he is 8 years old and weighs 218, over 3 times the average weight for an 8 year old. The article said that the parents had repeatedly skipped appointments with nutritionists and doctors. That is in my opinion neglect. This young boy is at real risk of developing Diabetes Type II, which used to be called adult onset. Part of the name change is due to younger children getting it because of increased obesity. I won't comment on whether or not this child should be taken from his parents, but I do believe he needs help. Now.

Boo&BugsMom replied: I think there is a difference between a child just being "big" versus an extreme case like in the OP. My brother has always been big, and technically overweight, but it wasn't due to my parents neglect or anything. He was/is always active and ate pretty well and not even big portions. It's just that he's never been able to figure out how to loose any weight, but it doesn't hinder his every day life and normal every day functions, which is I think the biggest difference between a situation like that and a situation in the OP.

I saw a show about a girl who weighed 200 pounds at 4 years old. The mom claimed "she was always hungry" and she would just let her eat. Never went outside to play, sat and watched tv and ate. She was restricted to a mattress on the floor in the living room and couldn't even walk, she had to scoot on her butt to get around. That to me screams lazy parenting and neglect and is just plain ridiculous! I guess depending on the circumstances, CPS may or may not have to get involved. If the parent truly wants what is best, then education and parental training is ok, but if the parent isn't willing to work on things for the sake of their child then I think whatever needs to be done, needs to be done. Some people just shouldn't procreate to begin with, IMHO.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: I don't think it's necessarily the parents' fault, it could be a condition... but, just because they skipped several appointments with nutritionists doesn't mean they neglect their child. I've certainly skipped some appointments for my children concerning vaccines etc, and it doesn't make me a bad parent....

My kids are stocky, they're big for their ages, they seem to eat a lot... but they are incredibly active. I wouldn't dream of limiting my kids' food intake. They eat healthy things, they prefer grapes over candy usually... so it's not like they gorge themselves on junk. If they want a second helping of chicken at dinner time, they can have it. If they want some extra slices of apple for their snack, who am I to say no? I eat when I'm hungry, why shouldn't they?

I make sure that my children have a good balance of ingested calories vs burned calories... but i'm not going to be a hypocrite about it. If I munch on stuff when I'm not hungry, I'm not going to say no to them if they request some too. Especially not if I'm eating whatever it is in front of them.

Just because the child is fat, doesn't mean the parents are bad. Plenty of grown adults are fat too, it doesn't make them bad people. It just means that with a child, the parents should make the effort to educate themselves about the healthrisks... it's not really any different than the people who smoke around their children. Give your child extra desserts, blow some smoke in your child's play area... not much of a difference, in my opinion. It's a matter of educating the ignorant.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: I agree, Rocky. Skipping several appointments isn't neglect, I've cancelled several of Logan's appointments last minute due to weather (his cardiologist is 160 miles away) or due to me being too sick to leave the house because I couldn't get more than 5 feet from a bathroom. But repeatedly skipping them does, IMO, constitute neglect.

mummy2girls replied: it depends on teh situation as well. if the parents were over feeding him not giving him a good diet then intervention of some sort may need to be done but it could be a medical thing. I had a friend in junior high and she was 350lbs at age 14. and it wasnt because she ate alot its because of her metabolisim or something...

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Here's the article I read on yahoo.com this morning.

jcc64 replied: I read this story, and found it pretty disturbing. I guess none of us know all the details- there are well known metabolic disorders (I believe one may be called Praeder Willy Syndrome, or something like that) whereby the individual's brain is actually missing the mechanism that lets the body know it's full. I don't know if that is the case here- but it would be a critical piece of info before determining neglect on the parents' part, imo.
I don't know why the parents skipped appointments with nutritionists. If I felt I was constantly being damned or judged, I might be a little less likely to put myself in the company of those people, regardless of their good intentions. Maybe they don't have a car, or can't miss work all the time.
Yes, we all have a responsibility to provide the best care possible for our kids. If it is indeed a total lack of education, then there are other, less invasive ways of assisting this family rather than completely destoying it. Should CPS be involved, yes absolutely- but I think this action seems more punitive than nurturing- especially from the child's perspective. I guess I'm a little surprised that so many people here support the removal of the child- I got the sense this board tilted more toward LESS gov't interference in our lives.

MommyToAshley replied: I don't think we know enough about the story for me to agree one way or another with the removal of the child from the home. If the parent is flat out refusing any help, completely disregarding the appointments with the nutritionalist and doctors, then I think greater intervention may be needed. But, it sounds like the parent is frustrated, and the story may be biased... there may be reasons why the appointments were missed. I do agree intervention is needed, but not sure removal of the child needs to be an option just yet. I hope the boy gets both medical attention and counseling.

cameragirl21 replied: i think it depends on the circumstances and we definitely don't know all the details but i will say that i can't understand how an 8 year old boy could weigh that much, unless he has some serious illness which IMO his parents should have looked into long before he reached the 200 mark if they are truly not responsible for his obesity.
i remember sometime back watching a reality tv show on MTV called "Fat Camp" that was about a bunch of overweight teens who went off to this fat camp. there was a girl called Dianne who was 14 or 15 and hugely overweight...when she sat down her stomach hung over her knees. she was homeschooled and very anti-social...she had no friends and hung out mostly with her mom, who was a nurse. she was totally dependent on her mother for any sort of social interaction and openly said that she's only comfortable around her mother and that her mother should be a saint. while i'm not in a position to diagnose her, i got the distinct impression that she had Munchausen's Syndrome by Proxy and was purposely keeping her daughter fat so she'd remain dependent on her whereas most 14 year olds want to spend time with friends, etc. somehow, after fat camp, she regained most of what she'd lost.
of course this is just an assumption on my part but watching the interaction between the mother and the child, i am pretty sure she is a Munchausen's by Proxy case and in a case like that i definitely think CPS should intervene just as they would be inclined to remove a kid from any other Munchausen's by Proxy situation.
sometimes it's the parents who need the help, not just the kids.
JMO of course.

stella6979 replied:
I agree. I was watching a show last night on TLC called Tubby Toddlers and I couldn't believe the excuses the parents were coming up with as to why their kids were the size they were. In each of the three cases they showed the parents were severly overweight as well and found nothing wrong with letting their kids shovel down any and all types of food. They brought in a nutritionist as well as a physcial fitness instructor and the parents were just too lazy to follow through with anything. It was really sad to watch and you could tell the kids were just miserable.

Calimama replied:
I watched that show last night as well and none of the parents, except "Jenna" was overweight. Maybe they aired a different one? It was an interesting show!

Anyway I feel a lot of times the problem is lack of education. I don't feel the children should be taken away, I think the parents as well as the children need to be taught better eating habits etc.

A&A'smommy replied: yes CPS should get invovled because that is a form of abuse, unless they are trying and working on getting his weight under control and doing whatever possible for him then he should definitily be taken away from his parents!!

Boo&BugsMom replied: I agree with the educating and teaching families better eating habits, but when a parent or family is refusing or just being plain lazy at the expense of their children, something more firm needs to be done.

ETA: Obese adults are making the decision to be obese, unless there is a more serious medical issue, of course (I'm more or less talking about those who choose to do nothing about their health). Children don't make that decision and it's the parent's responsiblity to make the right choices for them because children only know what they are taught, including eating habits, hence, why we are responsible for them until they are 18.

stella6979 replied:
I'm not sure of their names, but the families I saw were overweight. There were two single Moms who both had daughters and I'm not sure of the third family. I was trying to get stuff done as I was watching it. Either way, I'm just saying that yes, educating them is a big part of it, but when you are trying to educate them and all they do is come up with excuses, that's not doing the child any good. The parents I saw had no motivation and were completely lazy which in turn, made their children lazy. I just found it sad that a 5 year old would rather be sitting on the couch, stuffing their face over being outside rollerblading or riding their bike.

gr33n3y3z replied: We have a 2nd grader in our school that is 135lbs its very sad
The childs sibling is in 4th grade also over weight

I had a sub in last week with me and we got talking and the child was over her house for the afternoon and she told me the child did nothing but eat there
She finelly had to tell the child snack time was over

I dont think CPS should step in but I feel these parents she get a guideing hand for help maybe the school nurse

hoosier momma replied: We don't know the whole story or if there is some medical issue going on. But, I definitely think someone should step in and help educate the family if it is just a case of overeating and lack of activity. I don't think I agree with taking a child from his home just because he is overweight.

Crystalina replied: I didn't read all of the responses to excuse me if I'm repeating someone else.

To me CPS should be called to at least monitor the situation. Now if you walk into the house and mom, dad and other siblings are overweight then there is more then likely lack of activity and way too much food in the house. To me that is child abuse. Now the entire family could have a gland problem but what are the odds? CPS should say, ok this is what we expect of you and we want to see results within a certain time frame (for the child). If the family chooses not respond then the child should be taken away for their own health (temporarily). Now realistically CPS will not do this because in most instances they are flooded with cases and just don't have the time which is sad. It is horrible to say take the child away because some may say that an overweight baby with it's family is better then an overweight baby depressed and scared because it's family is not around. For the child's health (physical and or mental) you're darned if you do and darned if you don't.

Crystalina replied: Sorry Off topic



I can't stand that man!!!!!!!!! A friend of mine was on there with her daughter (lookalikes). His show is a fake!!! I can't believe he puts those kids up there like that.

Nina J replied: I don't know the parents of the boy, so how do I know they arn't the best parents in the world who do everything for there son. I've known people with very overweight children, and the parents do everything to try to get there kids to lose weight but they can't. There is often more to a story then what meets the eye, so I'm not going to pass judgement on that boys parents. Yes, he is dangerously obese and at risk of developing many illnesses due to his weight, but rather than remove him from his home, why not get him the help he needs from a professional? That way he can lose the weight and have a normal life, while still knowing his family. Unless his parents are neglecting him, by which I mean they are directly responsible for his weight problem, then he should be removed from there home.

redplaydoh replied: I agree something should be done, but I don't know if removal of a child from the parents is the answer. I think it sets up a slippery slope for future cases. If we don't have the "perfect" child does that give the govt. rights to take them from us. I know it is a weight/assumed abuse situation but what if it branches out from this and they start taking our children away from us to "treat" other problems.
I think helping the whole family is a better solution than taking the child from his family.

hawkshoe replied:
This is how I feel. Seeing these extremely overweight children makes me so sad. Their health and well being are being severely compromised. Efforts should be made to educate the parents and give them a chance to rectify the problem. However, if they choose to ignore the help and continue harming thier childs health then further measures need to be taken, including the possibility of removing the child from the home. JMO